hi , im 21 years old im just found out im 10wks pregnant i told my baby daddy he said that he would be their for the baby and me ONLY THRUE THE PREGNANCY im sad i think about him all the time ,the reason we are not together is because i lied to him about other men and other little stuff. i live with my mom and he lives with his friend he is 34 years old he is a good man he is so hurt for all the wrong that i have done to him . Im hurt because we are not together and still having sex i dont know what to do? i have a plan i told him he has 7 months to think about what he is going to do? if we dont end up together as a family and have a place on our own . Im going to file child dupport on him after the baby is born should i or shouldn't i dont want mess him up because i love him and he just got of probation. he said he loves me to and to give him time ??? WHAT SHOULD I DO? WAIT?FILE ?
2007-08-04 07:38:21 · 10 answers · asked by closnliz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
AURGGHH!! the term baby-daddy!!
how can you give him Time to THINK about whats hes going to do when youre the one that made the mistake and youre STILL making that mistake, he can still be a dad if hes not with you as in relationshp wise. if you really do love him then yes give him time.
2007-08-04 07:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to apologize to this man! Then maybe he can come to turns with your relationship and start building a foundation a family can fall back on. Why did you find it necessary to give him an ultimatum when you are at fault? I know you are emotionally attached to him but having sex isn't going to resolve whatever issues you have with him it actually complicates things. Please don't use the baby as a pawn that might backfire on you. Lying to anyone is a break of trust. If you weren't able to be truthful from beginning why should he believe you now. No one likes a liar and gaining his trust backs if he accepts you is going to be difficult because in the back of his mind he'll always be wondering. I suggest you tell truth from now on and learn from your mistakes. Honesty, respect, trust loyalty are very important virtues your significant other is expecting from you. You are an adult stop playing childish games! I don't think you have grounds to file for support at the moment especially if he told you he will be there for baby. It is just a waiting game now if things change then by all means take him to court.
2007-08-06 09:00:01 · answer #2 · answered by Aphreakywuman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a DNA test done first, to make sure the baby is his. Let's start from the beginning. A man who's ready to get married and all that doesn't live off of other people. He supports himself, or at least contributes to the household he's in. Same goes for a woman. My advice is to stop having sex, unless you want to bring a third baby into the equation. He's probably thinking since you've slept around some, there's a good chance the baby isn't his, and he's right to think that.
He's been in trouble with the law????? Then definitely DO NOT MAKE MORE BABIES WITH HIM. He's a bum. You want someone who'll be a GOOD example for your kids. A man who loves his woman marries her before making babies with her, or when he finds out she's pregnant, goes right to the courthouse to get married.
2007-08-04 07:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
So, you're going to force him to love you by filing for child support... I hope that sounds as foolish to you as it does to me. Filing for child support has only one real purpose, to force him to live up to the financial obligation of raising his child, if he doesn't.
You can't plan people. You can plan for a date, plan a wedding, and you can plan a baby. But you can't plan love. You can't scheme a way to make him love you and move in together with you and be a family. You lied to him, and rightly so, he's hurt. On the other hand, he has told you that he's going to be there for you and HIS kid through the pregnancy, probably with plans to bounce after.
You are enabling him. He has already told you in only slightly vague terms that you will be on your own, and you are sleeping with him still. Sex does not equal love. Here's a plan:
Stop sleeping with him until he is more sure of his obligations and his feelings.(Actions speak louder than words). Tell him that its his kid and he needs to do right by the child, if not by you. Tell him you PLAN to file for child support if he does not do his best to be a father to that child.
Give him some time....ALONE. Tell him you'll wait while he thinks all of this over. And WAIT. He had TIME to make a baby, he need TIME to plan on being a father. You need TIME to figure out what being a single parent is going to be like.
Good luck. Parenting is hard with two willing partners, doing things one handed is twice as hard.
2007-08-04 07:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by John N 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one, thats for sure. I think you shouldnt have sex with him anymore till he decides weither or not he wants to be with you. Cause thats giving him the upper hand. Have a good sit down talk, tell him he is either with you or not, he has to make up his mind, but when you keep having sex your letting him be in control. And maybe its time to move on. After you have the baby, yes he should help support the baby, if does not then you can file, you shouldnt have to do this alon, cause it takes two to make a baby....best of luck 2 you! :)
2007-08-04 07:46:01 · answer #5 · answered by clr9798 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He has to provide child support. That is a given. He knows that. Yes, you should file, but work through it with him honestly and up front, but the child's welfare is your first priority, including your his/hers while you are pregnant. He should help with that up front also. Check with social services first. They can advise and assist.
2007-08-04 07:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever thought about getting married before you have sex with some guy who is your boyfriend, none of this would be a problem if you would have waited until you were married!!!
2007-08-04 07:44:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You have to stand up for that child, and it deserves the support of its father.
And if you're not together-- stop having sex!!!!!!
2007-08-04 07:44:14 · answer #8 · answered by palan57 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if he is a good guy he wll want to be in the kids life, and support him. if u still have feelings for him, i'd talk it out and try working somthing out, after all he is half of this to.
2007-08-04 07:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by jt 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They will not back pay child support.... So I would file for child support....
2007-08-04 07:42:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋