Caring or suffocating?

Question

Sometimes, I feel not able to accept his feelings to me though I still like him but I kinda get a bit suffocated from his extra care& exaggeration.
We have been knowing one another for more than 8 months now. He is more than nuts about me! He sms day/night without missing a day. He calls me so often and sends me sms after calling me directly! He sends many mails to me, he even writes letters to me. He is so clingy but so caring at same time to the extent I sometimes tend to hide if I am ill or tired coz of these shows as his care circumvents me, He tells me always,"I am so in love with you, I cant imagine my future without you." Sometimes extra care tends to suffocate, is that true? Am I cruel to him? I just wanna a reason of why do I feel sometimes rejecting him .. is it something abnormal in me or him or what?!!!
btw he is 33 and am 26.

I tried to give us a break for one day ... he was like a crazy man! He could not and kept calling me! he sounds weird or a crazy lover??!! Is that deep love, care and attention?!

Answer 1

yeah i see what you mean, that is a little much, but it sounds a little like puppy love, i would say talk to him, make it clear that you are not going any where and that you care for him too, but that he is getting a little to much. Then you will see if he really cares for you, he will either understand what you are saying and step down a bit, or really over react and this is a bad thing because that means that you cant talk to him with in your relationship, then its not worth it.

good luck :)

Answer 2

Yes, I agree he is a bit much. It's almost like he's afraid he's going to loose you. I'd just tell him that sometimes you feel you hear from him a little too often & feel like you'd like a little space from the constant lettere, calls etc. Yes, he is smothering you for sure. It's fine to love someone, but he's to the point of giving you the feeling that he owns you. Just assure him you care for him, but just let up on the contacting you so often. You also could mention that sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder! It's like no matter what you do, you can't get away from him. Just ask him if he can give you a little space now & then & that it would mean a lot to you. Hopefully he'll adhear to your wishes...

Answer 3

Sounds like he is obsessed with you. Its normal when people in love to see each other every day. But from the sounds of it. Not only do you see him everyday he is constantly calling, sending sms, etc to the point you feel sufficated. This would send up red flags to me. time and time again you hear of girls with these obsessed boyfriends being injured even killed by them. Don't sound like he is abusive yet but, dont be surprised if very soon he starts saying things like "your cheating on him"
I would start by telling him the truth that all his calls and sms and blah blah blah are overwelming. If we have plans i know we have plans and i will be there you dont have to call me every hour to make sure i will be there. It is disrupting my work, school, job etc.
good luck and be careful

Answer 4

He has a problem, and his behavior makes you have to act in a way that makes you feel as if you've been cruel.
His behavior can turn dangerous, so have a serious talk about how often and when he can call and sms you.
You wouldn't have to reject him if he didn't smother you like that. I'll bet if you talked to any of his ex's, he has a pattern of this behavior.
If he can't control this, then you might have to move away or something..good luck.

Answer 5

I went through the same situation. Everybody on the outside thought this was so nice. but it was irritating to me. I eventually got out of the relationship. Sometimes people like this can end up being stalkers(not the case in my situation) but it happens. You need to be careful. He could be suffering from low self esteem and so happy to have someone but his clinging will run you away. Talk to him and see if that helps. If it don't, it's probaly time to say goodbye especially if you feel like this after only eight months into the relationship

Answer 6

I don't know but I think he's obsessed with you for some reason. He calls you too many times I am starting to think that he wants something from you. Its almost like trying to stalk you because older guys love women younger than themselves sometimes for alot of reasons. You are not cruel to him, just tell him how it makes you feel when. I think he'll understand.

Answer 7

looks like he needs alot of attention and affection, and you are more easy going. This could be a problem long term. You need to be open and honest about the situation with him and find out if the reason of his constant attention is really affection, or insecurity. Tell him that you need a little space or your relationship isn't going to work

Answer 8

Try to be in his shoes, perhaps u would be able 2 feel y he did those things.And explain 2 him ur stand.When both parties compromise 2gether, things wil be better.If both of u click,age won't make a diff.Let every obstacle u face enhance ur relationship.

Answer 9

Some people tend to be really 'clingy.' But as always, communication is the key. If he really loves you, he would listen and understand how you feel and change for the better.

Answer 10

He's way to old to be acting like a 14 year old boy who doesn't know any better. It would seem that your man has no self-confidence and has many trust issues, since he can't seem to leave you alone for five minutes. If you have to lie to him or avoid him to get space, then there is something seriously wrong with your relationship and it doesn't sound healthy.