my parents fight a lot...plzzz help!!!!?

Question

theyve been fighting a lot and its not just verbal! theyve been fighting since i was little! whenever i ask my dad why they fight he says my mom started it. when i ask my mom she says he started it and that i saw him start it. then my dad leaves the house. my mom and i always stay at the house after each fight. then i get all angry at my mom (*frenzy*), my dad leaves the house, i leave the room shes in, burst into unstoppable tears, she comes into the room she heard me crying in, and then she claims that because im not doing anything to my dad that im on his side, when actually i did (sometimes i kick him). she always apologizes to me and asks me if im damaged, i say yes im too damaged to be healed, and then she goes on and on about how she doesnt think she and my dad are gonna grow old together. its the same thing over and over again!! wth should i do?!

Answer 1

Omg im so sorry for you it sounds like an awful situatuion to be in. When ever they fight you could call the cops. You have been like so hurt by this and there was no need for it because no offence but it is your mums fault she should never have dragged you into this and asked you to choose sides. What age are you anyway.

Answer 2

There are some couples who communicate by fighting. They have been fighting since you were little? Make them realize that this may not be affecting them, but it's affecting you. Your mom and dad can't be fighting over everything. There must be somethings they agree to. Find out what irritates them. They should stay away from discussing matters that brings about the argument. This is mostly affecting you and your future. As you grow older, this type of life will seem normal to you. If your parents don't want to get counselling, you should. Immediately.

Answer 3

You need to take cover and leave the area when the fighting starts. It has nothing to do with you and you should not be witnessing such behavior. Your crying only complicates the matter at hand. Your parents need to grow up and be better examples for you. I am sorry this is happening over and over. Tell her you do not want to hear about her problems, that she and your dad need to work them out together with the help of a minister or counselor. Just do not stay in the same room with them when the fighting is taking place!!!!!!!

Answer 4

I'm sorry that you are going through this. This is difficult to witness. Some parents, like mine do sometimes, do not realize the effects it has on us kids when they argue. I would do the same thing, I could not bare my father yelling at my mother. In fact the older I got the more I began to resent him. Little by little the relationship between me and my father went from something to nothing.

You have to talk to them and let them know how you feel. All they are going to do in the end is drive you away from the house as soon as you find a way out.

Of course, I realized that my dad won't be around forever. I always felt that he should step up and try to build a relationship between us but that proved to be impossible. My mom and sister suggested that I take that initiative and I have. I ended up leaving the house and coincidently my father moved to the same state I did to work. I don't see him but when I do I say hello and ask him how he is doing.

Tell your parents you don't want to leave the house like that. Let them know its driving you crazy!

Best Wishes

Answer 5

When your parents are getting along, tell them that you want to set up a safety plan for yourself when they start fighting. You and them agree on somewhere that you can go if they start arguing (next door or a friend's would be good). Set up with them that they can come and get you when they are finished. This will do several things:
1. It will give them the opportunity to recognize that you are taking control of your own safety.
2. When it happens and you let them know you are leaving it will give them kind of a cue that the fighting is getting out of hand.
3. When they have to come and get you, it will be somewhat embarassing thus, hopefully they will curb the fighting.

If they do not agree with this plan then you have no choice but to call the police. Your safety and well-being are the priority.

Answer 6

Stop participating. Point out to Mom that you didn't do anything to her either, but that doesn't mean you're on her side, or his side, or anybody's side. Tell her you are tired of the endless drama and that if it doesn't stop, you're going to spill the beans to the guidance councellor and get into foster care, or go live with a family member (grandparents? an aunt?)
I feel for you kid. Remember that hitting never solves anything. Do not fall into being an abuser like your parents.
Be a gentle person.
Best wishes.

Answer 7

Tell your mom to quit dragging you into the middle of it. Why is she making you choose sides.
Next time the fight call the cops and ask to be taken out of the house.
Sorry you're having to deal with this.

Answer 8

Do they drink? Ask them to stop. Are they physical with each other? Does your mom have mystery bruises?? Know it , been there done that hate it. Ask them to stop for your sake.Only call the cops if shes getting dragged out of the house or thrown down on the street, etc........

Answer 9

How old are you? There are domestic abuse hotlines. Evidently they do not care that you are seeing and hearing them fight. You should know that this behavior is unacceptable regardless of who the other person is. You should talk to a counselor or someone that you trust will help you.

Answer 10

Consult other elder people or marriage consellors to talk to them other wise it will haunted for the rest of your life.