When I asked one of the other girls she avoided the question. SO i know it's true. How do I handle myself around her and the girls talking about wedding plans? I guess you should really get your list together before you start asking people and then changing your mind. I hope to God she doesn't ask me to be a greeter. I will definatley decline. Insulted, yes I am.
2007-08-04 05:24:34 · 13 answers · asked by SuzySucker 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
thats so rude...I wouldnt want to be a bridesmaid after that...screw that.....
2007-08-04 05:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by Newlywed 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps she would have rather had you than the person she may be being forced to have, or is protecting you from a clash with an other member of the party. Wait until she talks to you, give her a chance to explain.
Look at it this way, you do not have to buy all those presents, or the clothes for all the parties, give a shower, or a batchelorette party. Just show up, gift in hand, for the wedding. And the shower if you wish.
Up to you, but when she does tell you, smile and tell her just that. And when she offers you a less glamorous job, say no thanks, on reflection, you would rather sit with whoever as a guest. And when it is your turn for the walk down the isle, make sure she is a bridesmaid, maid of honour, so she does have to do the parties, and spend money. LOL!
2007-08-04 06:44:23 · answer #2 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't blame you for feeling insulted, sounds like a slap in the face. BUT, you really need some clairty from the bride herself. You mention she hasn't told you yet.. I think you should flat out ask her if you are still part of the bridal party and let her speak. Let her know the rumors you have heard and the avoidance you received from other bridal party members. Talking with her directly should, at least, clear the air. If she demotes you to a greeter, I agree you should politely decline and maybe just go as a guest. This same type of thing happened to me, I was not in the wedding party of the girl who was my maid of honor. And at her wedding, she made the announcement that I was going to offer the prayer before dinner! She never had mentioned it to me before that day and I was completely blown out of the holy water! I asked her what on earth she wanted me to say because I'm no priest. I stumbled over a pre-dinner prayer and then proceeded to get obliviated on her free alcohol. From that point on, our friendship waned to only exchanging Christmas cards. Sometimes the people who we think are our close friends don't necessarily feel the same about us and it becomes clear in these types of big events. Best wishes.
2007-08-04 05:39:46 · answer #3 · answered by ThatGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you really do have right to feel insulted, however if you let it slide by and tell her that you just want to help out anyway you can, then you will be making yourself into someone amazing and great.
When people are planning their weddings they feel as if they are juggling a thousand things. Thinks get confused, messy and feelings get hurt.. This is normal, so don't let somebody else's poor planning damage your spirits. Let her know that you really wanted to be in the wedding, but that you're also willing to help out anyway you can. She will probably ask you to serve the punch at the reception.... okay, wear a smile and a pretty dress be the best punch server ever!
Years later she will tell you that she really wanted you to be in the wedding party, and you'll learn the rest of the story. You'll be glad you stood by her and helped out at the punch bowl.
2007-08-04 05:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know for sure that tell here you don't want to be in it. approach here first. This will help keep the friendship. Then showing up for the wedding wont feel so uncomfortable. Your friend has reasons, I would think, so try to understand them. BUT if you are truly upset and insulted than don't even show up cuz this person is not your friend. In the end you need to make a choice, so think about it. Think about all aspects of the outcome of your choice then decide!
2007-08-04 05:39:18 · answer #5 · answered by yo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you have something else to do that day, can't make it. Your friend might have got a little crazy and invited too many people, cost lots of money. Be nice, people aren't perfect. Sure she might have jumped the gun, and now you are insulted. Be a friend and understand. Weddings aren't planned, they're organized chaos at best. Chow
2007-08-04 05:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Clipper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bride has to please siblings, family and friends. Sometimes, the mother or the groom has input and makes things change. The bride has enough to worry about without other people trying to get her to feel bad, so I would confront her and get right to it and see what happened or forget it. You can imagine all kinds of things in your head, why not find the truth.
Also it is her wedding and her day, not yours, so face to face, ask her why she asked you then changed her mind and you may not have to carry around all that anger.
2007-08-04 05:34:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your friend, the one getting married. Don't get your information from a third party. Third party info is always inaccurate. There could be other factors in play that you are not aware of. Talk with her about the situation. This was everything is out in the open and there is nothing to be confused. Also, seeing as your question is in etiquette, there are old customs that require that you talk to the person that you have a probem with.
2007-08-04 05:34:17 · answer #8 · answered by PaganAndProud 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I did the comparable concern. offered my dress, then saved looking and asserting "in step with hazard i did no longer ike it as much as i theory I did... in step with hazard I might desire to have tried that one on... or that one... or..." in the tip, those fears went away. I intentionally supply up watching different outfits and made specific I appeared at pictures of my very own every time I have been given the urge to seem at outfits. you're 2nd-guessing using fact there is a lot stigma on "THE dress". supply up watching different outfits and you'd be chuffed.
2016-10-09 05:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by bruinius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have every right to be insulted. I would not call that a friend.
2007-08-04 18:26:16 · answer #10 · answered by Jai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the bride-to-be. If you are friends, she should be willing to be open and honest with you about what happened and why. If she is reluctant to explain, I would re-think our friendship.
2007-08-04 09:16:33 · answer #11 · answered by nowyouknow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋