About Giving Gifts To All Children When The Occasion Is Just For One?

Question

I wanted to know how other people here handle gift giving situations in their families. I know of some people who give gifts to all of the siblings when it is the birthday for one of them or any other celebration; confirmation, award ceremony what have you.

Why do people feel they have to give gifts to all of the children when the celebration is for one of them? How do you feel about this? What do you do with your family about gift-giving?

Answer 1

NO no no
How does everyone receiving a gift make it a SPECIAL occasion ?
It is alright for a child to watch someone else being treated special and being gifted for the day.
This is how a child learns to deal with all of the feelings that there parents are trying to protect them from.
Its OK if only that child is being gifted on there special day !

Answer 2

the only time kids in my family all got gifts was when it was a holiday like Christmas or Easter. If it was an individual holiday like a birthday, or 1st communion, or if they did exceptionally well on a school subject or someting like that, then only the individual got a present. I never thought to question it. It certainly didn't bother me if my sister got a gift for her birthday and I didn't. Not sure how she felt about it.

Now if parents are buying gifts for no reason and showing favoritism, that's another ball game entirely. Maybe some people do the buy ALL the kids gifts at the same time because they're concerned the others will be jealous or feel left out? or they don't want the kids to feel like they're the center of attention and get spoiled or vain?

I had only one child of my own, so fortunately it wasn't an issue.

Answer 3

This is just the kind of absurd thing people do when they try to create a "fair" nonjudgmental environment for their children. That sounds lovely but do you really think this prepares them in any way for life? A kid grows up expecting to have everything their siblings, friends or cousins have. Do you honestly think they'll get that same kind of treatment in college? Or in their job?

Of course not. I absolutely do not agree with handing out gifts to everyone on one child's birthday, although I do have to qualify that with a little explanation.

I have 5 children. Three of them were born on the same day--twins in 1999 and a girl in 2004. We do celebrate their birthdays together but I do not buy gifts for my other two children. I remind them, if they have issues, that their day will come. In fact those two are 4 yrs and 4 days apart in birthdays in July so their days come as a rush all at once. And when that time comes and we are celebrating another birthday I remind the others who have already had theirs that they had their day and now it's someone else's turn.

The point is, how is a person supposed to feel like it is truly "their" special day when everyone else gets something too? When I was a child and went to birthday parties I don't recall being jealous of the birthday child. I do remember the fun of them opening presents and seeing what they got, the games we played and the cake and ice cream we got to eat.

Answer 4

The only time I give an extra gift is if someone has a baby and they have a 2 yr old or something so they don't feel left out. I have never heard of giving a present to all the kids that is ridiculous, and I would not do it.

Answer 5

in our situation, i have twins, we have birthday parties with cake/ice cream. being the creative one i sometimes have games where the others can win prizes. or try a pinata where everyone will get aleast a little something. one year i gave "door prizes" i found inexpensive cups with characters on them and filled with stickers, candy, plastic jewelery. i agree to give everyone a GIFT is ridiculous, it does take away from the young'un that is celebrating something special. In our family it is also that all the cousins get along and everyone helps everyone open gifts.

Answer 6

If it's my son's birthday, then he gets gifts. If it's my daughter's birthday, then she gets gifts. Never would I want anyone to feel obligated to buy both of them a gift on a birthday, b/c that's just not right. I would never do that for anyone else.

A friend of mine does this. She buys the same toy for BOTH kids on one of their birthdays. I feel that it's just spoiling them. They always have to have the same thing, she feels that it prevents from jealousy and sharing problems. In my opinion, it just condones not sharing. As for jealousy... well... she needs to just tell the other child that when his b-day comes, he will get a gift that day.

Answer 7

people who give to all rather than just the person who is having the birthday are not teaching their children that at certain times in life all that goes on is not about you. parents are afraid to teach their children that at times it is all for just one person. the parents are not teaching their children any real life information. so the children grow up thinking that at all times life is about them. what a letdown when reality sets in. a child's birthday should be a special day with emphasis on the one child. real life dictates that at times life is not about you but someone else. parents should teach their children the right lessons at the appropriate times.

Answer 8

Well, I think it shouldn't happen. That's my personal opinion. I once had an aunt who told me to be sure I brought a present for both of her kids when I was invited to one of their parties. Not happening. Kids today get a lot and I feel that we as parents need to set boundaries and be sure they are grateful for what they have received. This is just my personal opinion. Please don't judge as I will do the same.

Thanks

Answer 9

i think this is stupid. I think parents or who ever gives the gifts give it for just one kid and not the others. It will be their birthday eventually.