So when a guy says he is looking to settle down, and he supposedly "chooses" a woman, and he draws her in, and you have a wonderful thing going that is rich and full and fun and so much of it is about what is beyond the physical, even though the compatability at the physical is freaking incredible -- what would make you turn away and just decide pfft? -- when she honestly did not do anything differently than she had been doing for 6 months?? I am SO not understanding what is happening here.
Is it about expectations? Trust me -- if nothing else, I am a communicator. I know women tend to think too much, but I have to work this through because up until last night I thought everything was fabulous. Beyond that. It was incredible and moving in a great direction. Grant it, there is a significant age difference and I think he is much more handsome than I could ever be beautiful, but what can possibly happen in 12 hours to screw something up??
Fear?? S***.
2007-08-04 04:10:56 · 6 answers · asked by Shihan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Relax? Uch.
I spooked him??? For SIX MONTHS we have been developing this relationship. You spook someone within 2 to 3 months into it by leaving BRIDES ARE BEAUTIFUL on the coffee table. No, I did not spook him.
2007-08-04 04:23:26 · update #1
And why would I want to drawn someone back in who obviously does not want me? I am not so desperate or so self-loathing that I think I should beg for someone's love and affection. That is something I deserve to have freely given. I am entirely too special to accept anything less. And I thought he was that special, too.
Well, it looks like it's back to my vibrating boyfriend . . . I should have just stuck with that at the outset (and please, no bull about "tis better to have loved and lost . . . .blah blah blah" I am 52. I have loved and lost entirely too many times already.
And still I do not understand the masculine mind.
2007-08-04 04:26:28 · update #2
Between this and my other question, I had the most difficult time choosing a best answer. I received so much valuable information, and I am incredibly grateful for all who responded so openly and honestly. I have split the best answers for these two questions for the two contacts who are in my network. But please, realize that all really helped me through a very difficult day, and I will refer to these answers over the course of my healing time for reassurance and guidance. Thank you all so very, very much. With deepest gratitude, I wish you all Godspeed.
2007-08-04 10:21:52 · update #3
LOL Shihan, being a male of 57 years old I have said that to myself at least a million times about women. If I live to be 1,000 years old, I will never understand them, either. That's the wonderful thing about having different genders, we NEVER know what or how the other gender thinks or behaves.
As for the reasons behind his deciding to NOT follow through on YOUR relationship. I couldn't possibly tell you anything about that. I don't know ALL the details. He may have been giving you "signs" all along that he was losing interst. Signs that you never picked up on. Or it just may be that he got scraed and came to the conclusion that he was NOT actually ready and willing to settle down.
It seems to me that YOU have your head screwed on properly so, I would tend to say that the problems is HIS and not yours. But, dear lady, please, don't just give up on things. It's a definate setack sor sure. Don't let a few setbacks deter YOU from your goal, hoever. There IS someone out there for you. Take a little while for yourself, re-group, recover from your dissapointment, learn from your mistakes and THEN, get right back up on that horse. From what I have seen about you, just based on your questions and answers, you have a lot to give to a meaningful relationship. It's HIS loss that he changed his mind about it but, it's the next guy's GAIN if he's successful in landing a wonderful lady like yourself. *comfortable, loving hugs*
Raji the Green Witch
2007-08-04 05:13:40 · answer #1 · answered by Raji the Green Witch 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whatever it was, you can be sure it wasn't your fault. It may well not have been anyone's fault.
Most men are led by hormones. If they see another that takes their interest, then they go. It's annoying and hurtful, but it's part of human nature, and can only be tackled by the person experiencing it.
In truth, there is not so much a big difference between men and women. Both can be led astray very easily. It is only really those who choose to be mindful of our actions and their consequences who fail to understand it.
The main thing now is to not give up. Do not be hard on yourself, you have done no wrong, and caused no harm. Just be yourself and wait for your true life-partner to arrive. Maybe you already know him, just weren't aware. Trust in natural forces, such as love, to guide you.
2007-08-04 05:42:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all,... i am sure you are beautiful, inside and out.
Does he have an X that he talks to? Did things seem to be moving a lil too fast? Could he have thought that you were pushing him?
Ask him these things.
Tell him that you care about him, and think you deserve to know the truth.
Nothing can be lost thru communication,... just try,... and good luck
2007-08-04 04:16:30 · answer #3 · answered by solo_yo 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't get the making out with out sex part. If you aren't wanting sex probably shouldn't go at all. I don't myself consider 3 years an older guy.
2016-05-17 23:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord. Relax. Just enjoy, life's too short.
2007-08-04 04:14:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You spooked him. Gently try to draw him in again.
2007-08-04 04:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by dpepperdrinker 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋