Should we adopt from our own country, or other countries?

Question

My friends and I are both interested in adoption (someday far away). Some of my friends say they think its wrong to adopt internationally when we have kids here who don't have homes. I on the other hand want to adopt internationally because while I feel bad for the children here, our government makes sure the American orphans have medical care and food and schooling. While kids in countries like Ethiopia and Liberia are barely hanging on because they're dying from starvation or deadly diseases. So I feel while it's hard for American children to grow up in the orphanages, at least they have a chance at life. Whereas children in other countries don't always have that.

Anyone agree/disagree?

Answer 1

sure i agree but medical care and food is not the same as a home - some foster kids are living at the social services offices because of lack of adequate homes so I would have to investigate in adopting within the country first

Answer 2

I can understand why, the babies that are available internationally are babies/kids who are orphans and need homes. Now I'm not saying that kids domestically don't need homes, but the problem lies with the state and why does the kid/baby need a home. Most of the time the child has been traumatized (abused either emotionally, physically, mentally or sexually) and taken away by the state. Then after the state removes the child from the home and places the child into a foster home, the state gives the parents (biological) the right to see the child. Now, this doesn't mean that the parents have gotten their act together, lots of times the parents don't show for meetings and or they show up high/drunk. It's a real shame because if you have other kids in your family, you have a responsibility to them to not cause extra trauma to your kids you have at home. I wish there was an easier way to adopt kids here in the U.S. Also, it's much less expensive adopting here than internationally. But like I said, you've got a lot more loopholes here to jump through.

Answer 3

I wanted to make a couple of points.

Kids all over the world come into Foster Care/Orphanages not usually due to death of parents but due to neglect or abandonment.

Fetal Alcohol Effect/Symdrome is a real issue in US or Internationally adopted families.

Older children who have been in "The System" for a long time - or who have not been cared for well and LOVED should be considered to have Special Needs. This is true for kids from the US system or from any other country.

Adopting children of another race adds complexity to the parenting. The child needs to be able to form a positive racial identity. Love is not enough - wanting kids of various colors just because it is the In Thing to do is short sighted. How will you handle it when your child is told by another child that since they are not white they can not play with them?

Our kids were older and from overseas - and we are VERY HAPPY with them. They are doing very well - we are all blessed. Not all stories have such happy endings.

Kids are kids - I did not feel any more responsible for the kids here in the US than I did for the kids in other countries. Others feel differently.

Answer 4

First off, most American orphanages are practically extinct. Americans use the foster care system and group homes, which are more like a family that's on the large side than an orphanage. Secondly, a majority of "American orphans" aren't orphans in the true sense of the word. They were either taken from people who were deemed unfit parents, or were given up for adoption at birth. In either of those cases you have to be prepared for your kids wanting to search for their birth parents once they get to a certain age.

Another thing that's true about adopting from anywhere (but especially America) is that sometimes the governments are so desperate to get the children adopted that they don't tell you about certain health problems, or the extent of their problems, so that people are more wiling to adopt those children. This happened to a friend of mine who adopted a sibling group (2 girls and 2 boys) who she didn't find out had fetal alcohol affect/syndrome until a week after she adopted them.

My aunt adopted 2 girls from India. They are very precious. The youngest one had cleft lip and pallet which wouldn't have been able to get fixed over in India, but over here it is a simple cosmetic surgery.
With all that said, I agree with your decision to adopt internationally.

Answer 5

Children in the US foster care system who are available for adoption usually come into the system due to abuse and neglect in their prior home. While our government provides them with food & shelter, they do not provide them with love and stability, something all children need. US children who age out of the foster care system at age 18 without having found a "forever family" have virtually no resources or support to go foward with their lives. About 1/3 of these children end up homeless or in prison. The majority of children available for adoption in the US are not infants, so part of the decision depends on whether you are set on raising a child from infancy or not. In addition, adoption from the US foster care system usually cost little to nothing and some children in the system are eligible for state subsidies to assist with the cost of adoption and with any special medical or theraputic needs. In many states kids adopted through the US system also qualify for medicaid until their eighteenth birthday and for free tutition to State universitys in the State in which they were adopted, so depending on your financial situation, US adoption might be more financially feasible. When you become ready to adopt, I would urge you to contact your local children's services office, most states offer adoption classes free of charge where you can learn more about becoming an adoptive parent and that should help you make your decision. You could also try being a foster parent before adopting. Every state in the US has a shortage of available foster parents and this a great thing you can do for a child in the US. If you would like to know more about US adoption, or to see the photos and stories of some of the kids in the US who are waiting for adoption, go to www.adoptuskids.org Whatever you decide, to adopt from the US or from a foreign country, it is a good thing to provide a child with a permanent and loving family.

Answer 6

This is just personally, my husband and I feel that the need is so great here, we should help to give the American children homes. HOWEVER, we do not think it is wrong for someone to go to another country to find the newest member of their family.

There are children all over the world that need homes, we have just decided that we want to stay in the USA. Good luck, where ever you decide to adopt from, you are doing a good thing!

Answer 7

This is totally a personal choice and people shouldn't judge you either way you choose. Both international and domestic adoption can both be done ethically or unethically and it is your job to choose an ethical path. You say it is still a ways away. Thoroughly research domestic and international procedures, costs, ethics, process, etc. and find out which is right for you. I adopted internationally and researched different country programs. I found some that I was comfortable with the procedures and ethics and some that I wasn't. I would feel the same way if I adopted domestically. I would want to thoroughly research and find an ethical agency.

Answer 8

Another reason alot of people adopt from overseas is because it doesnt take as long. Here in the US they have so many people wanting babies that you can be on the list for years and still never get a baby. Overseas adoptions usually are a done deal in under a year. Some friends of ours had been trying for years to have one of their own and decided to adopt. They have money, land, leaders in the church, the mom was a Kindergarten teacher very nice couple and they got put on a list. After about 4 years on the list they decided to do invitro. Well it failed 4 times then they did get pregnant. They had that baby and then when she was 3 did it again and got preggers. After all that time they finaly got a call saying there was a baby they could adopt when their youngest was 2.. That long of a wait is ridiculus when there are so many kids needing homes.

Answer 9

I believe that God sees our world without the manmade borders that we put up. I don't think that there's anything more positive or negative about adopting internationally vs. domestically.

Now..let me share some stuff with you. There are no orphanages in America. The kids without parents are in foster care. While it's much easier to find foster and adoptive homes for the cute little babies & toddlers, it's very difficult once a child is just a few years old to find either a foster or adoptive placement for the child.

Kids over the age of 7 (no matter the race of the child) are much less likely to be adopted...and have a harder time finding a foster placement. Kids over the age of 2 if they're African American have a hard time finding a placement.

Kids 12 & older have the roughest time of all! Many times there are no foster homes available who want to care for kids of that age...and it's even more difficult to find an adoptive family for them. Many of them end up in group homes where they have to deal with some incredible conditions (I know of one boy, the only white boy in the facility...he got beat up regularly at the group home and at school). It's pretty harsh conditions there.

Now...I can't remember the exact statistic, but I think it's around 40% of the prison population was once in foster care. Kids who age out of the foster system without finding connections to adults have a pretty bleak future. They have no adult who cares for them to bounce ideas or decisions off of. They are pretty much thrown in the deep end of the pool and are left to sink or swim. It's SAD!

Anyway...this is just my 2 cents' worth that I wanted to throw in.

Answer 10

Adoption is a frustrating, difficult effort from any country .
A child id a child and a needy child is indeed a worthy cause to pursue.
Adopt any child you believe you can love and raise properly.
Use ease of process as a guide. I know that the skin color or the shape of the eyes will matter not to you or the child -Good luck Mon and Dad and to some lucky little fella out there !