I am 22 and I just had my baby 3 months ago. Her dad is not in the picture and hasnt been since i was 5 months pregnant. Recently I have starting see this guy, who is 20. It has been about a month and things are going great. He already told me that he loves me and he loves my daughter. He is great in some aspects and immature in others. My question is do u think he really loves me or is he just using me? I know this is a stupid question but I dont know what to do. I dont know if I should keep seeing him. My daughter is still to young to remember him when she gets older but what do you think...keep seein him or let him go.
Heres the kicker~We are both in the military &he tells me last night he wouldnt mind being married to me~what the he(( does that mean? I dont think he really loves me yet, I mean it has only been a month but i dont know how men really think.
2007-08-03 22:43:06 · 13 answers · asked by AMP2084 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would date him a while longer before even thinking about marriage...I was in the military and i have seen people get married basically right after they met...Who knows he could be the right one, he may not...Time will tell
Congrats on the new wee one...
2007-08-03 23:04:53 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey as you know when you first start dating someone you get this what I like to call a "Love High". It is easy to mistake this "Love High" for true love. I would say to keep seeing this young man for at least one year before making any decisions. You need time to see each others faults as well as you need to see if he can be a suitable parent. As this sweet little bundle of joy grows will he be able to handle it or will he end up on Prozak? When a relationship involves a child, mom must be patient and observe each person she dates. Mistakes can ruin the child.
2007-08-03 22:57:31 · answer #2 · answered by hlp4U1799 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are not the most romantic creatures around. When he said to you that he would not mind being married to you, I believe that he was paying you a compliment. Don't over analyze it. It sounds like love to me, men can get attached really quick when there is a kid involved. I say give him a chance. Don't be so hard on the guy he is doing the best that he knows how to do.They do get better with age and some gentle guidance.
2007-08-03 22:51:29 · answer #3 · answered by gigi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps if you give yourself the two year rule=no dating anyone for two years, may be helpful. In that period of time, use it to re-discover yourself. You've been through difficult times, why not give yourself time to heal from all that. Focus on your daughter, and you. That said, include the vision of your future and hers together. Allow yourselves to bond closer in all activities. If you can, actively participate in community events that require volunteering your time, and events that will enable you to also include your daughter. In your re-discovery period, don't hesitate to try new things, join new classes you may have put off such as dance, art, whatever, and wherever you feel the most inspired that will enhance self-growth. Dare to embrace your dreams including career goals. Embrace your abilities and discover all that the world has to offer you and your child. Believe in your parental abilities as well as yourself. Within that two year of no dating, changes will take place, and by then, you will have learnt many things, but most importantly, what you really are capable of. You will have more clarity, and be able to decide with better judgement, what is best for you and your daughter, and feel more confident about your present situation. Hope that helps, wishing you strength and courage towards your futures, as you step forth towards your successes. Thanks for asking.
2007-08-03 23:10:53 · answer #4 · answered by lostrebelchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You nailed it, he's immature as hell.... he can't possibly LOVE you in a month, he can however be infatuated with you and glad he has a booty call. It actually almost falls into stalker mentality being that dependent on someone in 4 weeks, not healthy for him or you, and for real not for your daughter!
Tell him (and yourself) if he still feels that way this time next YEAR, then it's love and you'll worry about making it permanent then. My bet, he won't be around at the end of 6 months max. And that's not me being a smart ***, that's me drawing from my life experience. Back up, breath, and put some space in there PRONTO!
2007-08-03 22:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just so you know, it is possible he loves you, but if he really does he will WAIT A WHILE before even discussing marriage. So soon makes me think he has some other ulterior motive or is just really immature. It takes time to see what people are really like (like years!)so take time to find out!And he "wouldn't mind being married to you" is alot different than what I would expect for a proposal. Take your time and think. Good luck!
2007-08-03 22:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are calm, you will know the right thing to do. I would suggest you continue seeing him, but make sure it is real. That is how love works. The most important thing is to make wise decisions and exercise good judgment with your life, and for the best interests of your daughter. Love is a complicated thing, but loyalty is a simple thing.
2007-08-03 22:47:38 · answer #7 · answered by Steve C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't say it surely, but i can understand ur situation, u say, it is only a month u both see .then how would u decide that he is rightn or wrong, mm? i think u need to wait for atleast 2or 3 years, check him whtr he is capable of seeing u. mmm, i say u just don't beleive anyones talk. which ever u feel as brillient u do that. but be careful while u r deciding. see to that u r right in ur choice, think 5times and do a thing. decition is more important in everyones life, ofcourse,
2007-08-03 23:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by marina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a month is to short of a time to be thinking marriage. Especially if you have a child. You haven't given reasons why one should think he is using you. One month, unless he just seeks you out for sex or when he wants something. I don't think he is using you. That he wouldn't mind marrying you just means he likes you enough to think about it.
2007-08-03 22:53:02 · answer #9 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just date him right now and c how things go...dont stress..just b careful for ur daughter...if u dont trust him (which i think is right bc u only know him for a month) ask his mother, friends what type of person he is..
but i think the best person to ask is GOD, pray that if he is not the right one, he should remove him from ur path...and bring the right man in ur life..Dont be afraid to ask GOD..GOD is the miracle maker...he is the one that answers all dreams and wishes...IF YOU PRAY he will make all ur dreams come true, dont give up hun!
2007-08-03 22:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by prettyinpink i 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋