One of my fiance's groomsmen is my ex boyfriend. We dated for 3 years, and the reason we broke up was because of my fiance. That's how I met him, through my ex. Since we still see each other (as he is one of my fiances best friends) we are civil, but it is still very, very awkward and tense. My fiance thinks everything is fine and there is no awkwardness...but it's the complete opposite. I still care for my ex, and I do not want him there on my wedding day. Nothing has happened since we broke things off, except for a kiss, which was never discussed again. My question is, how can I tell my fiance that I do not want my ex as one of his groomsmen, much less in the wedding at all?! It just seems so rude!
Thanks to anyone who helps.
2007-08-03 20:26:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you can't be open and honest with your husband, who can you be open with? Seriously just sit down and explain that you feel slightly awkward with your ex in the bridal party and would prefer he not ask him.
Your soon-to-be-husband should respect your feelings enough to say ok. Thats such a minor point to compromise on and marriage is all about compromise.
This is the man you want to spend every day with for the rest of your life. Learn to lean on him, no matter what the situation. He can't fix it if you don't tell him exactly what is wrong and what you want him to do.
2007-08-03 22:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is an easy way out. Elope! Fly to Las Vegas and just get married to avoid this situation. Tell your fiance you can not wait and this big wedding is just a big headache. If you want people in your wedding, take your witnesses with you and only the people that you and your fiance are comfortable with. If your witnesses can not go, then both of you- GO!
There is no easy way to tell your fiance that you don't want your ex in your wedding. The easiest way is just to elope.
2007-08-03 20:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by cool beans 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sucks to be you. This almost sounds like a fictional story.
First, I don't understand how your fiance has him as a groomsman. Second, you all actually dated and got engaged??
Ok.. I just had to ask that.
I would suggest telling your fiance about the kiss. He needs to know about it either way, and after that he will probably be willing to fulfill your request and deny the ex being a groomsman. I know it sounds harsh.. but seriously. If your fiance still wishes that he remain in the wedding.. rhen you have another problem.
2007-08-03 20:36:23 · answer #3 · answered by PlasticTrees 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh heck no ! If she's as immature as she sounds, I would not be surprised if she tries to make some sort of scene (either crying really loud or trying to steal a dance with your man). Absolutely nothing good can come out of her being there. PLUS, last time I checked, this is your day....... why on earth should you have to deal with having someone there taht yo do not want to (plus have to worry about her & also pay for her meal). No offense, but, your man needs to get a back-bone & tell her not only is she not invited but that he loves you & doesn't want anything to do with her. If she threatens to show up & crash, then have your man tell her that someone will be checking invitaions at the door & if she tries to come in , she'll get booted. Also, I know different states are different, but my one requires a police detail at any event that has more than 100 people. You can always tell her that if she shows up, she will be instantly arrested for tresspassing.
2016-05-17 22:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your fiance how you feel, you have to talk to him if your not ok with this he should respect you for being honest with him. This is your wedding day if your fiance can't understand try telling him you have asked his ex girlfriend to be your brides maid and see how that makes him feel. If your ex is ultimately going to be in the wedding try to avoid him or else you may end up with cold feet and single.
2007-08-03 21:05:31 · answer #5 · answered by tawala 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its rude.This is your special day you dont want someone else you boinked to be standing there. I would never invite an ex to my wedding.Just be honest to your fiance.Tell him you want to erase the past and start out fresh.If you still have feelings for him you shouldnt be getting married though.
2007-08-03 20:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by victoria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have been honest LONG ago with your fiance about this guy! C'mon, you're getting married to him, you shouldn't be lying to him. Talk to him.
2007-08-04 01:38:49 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whatttt dont do this at all plzzz,he cant bare the pain.then tell smoothly to ur fiance that you wont like all these.
2007-08-03 20:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
do not burn your bridges. Maybe some day he will no longer remain your ex !!!
2007-08-03 20:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by Sid 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋