should i convince my dad to get fit?

Question

he is fat. period. he is unfit. he has blood pressure problems and needs to exercise 5 times a week on prescription by a certified doctor. Its just that he doesnt care. even with his blood pressure, he'll probably live till 70 (currently 49yo) so he believes his life's complete. i know its his life...but i dont ant to lose him. making him fitter will definately increase his lifespan.

so what do you think? should i try and get him fit (i'll ask another question) or should i leave him to lead his own life? Im 14 by the way, just so you have an estimation of how long I have to live.

guys, its not an easy thing for a fat, easygoing guy to work out.

thisll probably affect his happyness. and as i said, he doesnt give a sh1t if he dies or not. he thinks he's lived his life to the fullest anyway.

hat comes first, my happyness or his?

Answer 1

Be gentle with what you are about to say to him. He is still your father and you should not disrespect him in any way.
Just tell him that you love and care for him very much. Tell him that you want him to see you.... A.) Graduate and go to College B.)Get Married C) Have Children and see them grow.
ETC. ........................................................
-You get the hint.
Let him know that you truly care about him and that you are willing to help him.
You can't just tell him to loose weight and not try to help the situation.
Help him pick out healthy foods at the grocery store.
Get him to take some vitamins, etc.
Take him places, like to the park. Get him to exercise at least 30 minutes a day. He has to take it slow as he starts.
I hope this helps.

Answer 2

You're a good son, and you're right to try to get Dad healthy.
Try to make him see that he'll feel better, and enjoy life more as he ages if he's fit.
I can tell you from personnal experience that failing health can make you a lot less happy, and high blood pressure will make him old and unhappy a lot earlier.
You're just 14 so this may be hard to understand, but his .."believes his life's complete".. sounds like depression. - Not really something for a kid to try & deal with.
Is there another adult in the picture to help?
You might try to involve him in something you both enjoy together.
It might help, and if it gets him moving a bit, all the better.

Answer 3

I truly think you should try, and the best way, which he might actually really like is for you to exercise with him, at least at first, until he believes he can do it alone. But even then, if you can, please continue to exercise with him as much as you can. In the long run you will be glad you did as it is a good bonding experience for you.

I use to walk with my father when he was about 79 or so, until I moved to a different city. It was a wonderful time for both of us to talk about all kinds of things and it enriched our relationship considerably. Walking IS a form of exercise, and if that's all you can get your Dad to do now, at least it's a start. Maybe later you could find some sort of sports to enjoy together.

Answer 4

You're father kind of sounds like my brother did. My brother was really sick since he was a little kid and by the time he was in his late teens he stopped carrying about whether or not he lived. The way he saw it was that he was going to die anyway so why even bother. The truth is my brother did die three months ago, and I remember my mother saying that one of the last things he said when they took him to the hospital was "Don't let me die." When I saw him at the hospital the next day he was barely able to hear us and he had tubes all around him drawing blood and collecting urine. By the afternoon he wasn't responding to anything anymore, he passed on the next morning. I felt horrible, I thought that it was my fault that I didn't notice something was wrong with him. I felt guilty because I went out with my friends the day he was hospitalized. I didn't think that there was something wrong with him so I left and had fun with my friends. The next time I saw him it was already too late. I don't want you to experience something like that. You have a chance to prolong your father's life, so I say take it.

The truth is even though your father may say that he doesn't care if he lives or dies he does care. He wants to live and if keeping him fit keeps alive longer than I say go for it. I don't want your father to end up like my older brother did.

Answer 5

Do not judge him to harshly. There are many studies out now that say it is all heridarty. I came from a slim mom and a big dad. I am big. I worry my kids are embarassed by me. I try to loose the weight, but it always comes back. Stress has a lot to do with it. Keep in mind that he may not know where to start. Suggest healthy things to eat, and ask him to join you while you exercise. Use the together time excuse.

Answer 6

I think you have to let your dad know how much his death will cause everyone that loves him. Your dad might think he lived his life to the fullest, but he hasn't until everyone that loves him is ready to let him go. Obesity isn't a cause to leave life. You need to tell your dad how much he means to you, before your dad forgets the whole thing. If he says no the first time you ask, join him. Get your whole family to exercise. Don't make losing weight boring. Go for daily walks and talk with the entire family. Praise your dad when he loses a few pounds, and your dad will gain respect for his health and your family.

Answer 7

My mother was the same way. There were 8 kids in my family and all she talked about when the last 4 of us where in high school was that she couldnt wait to die. We tried everything and nothing worked for her, I hope you find something that works for you. My father is currently doing the same as yours. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetic neuropathy, and the list just goes on, but he couldn't care less about taking better care of himself so his problems would get better. He won't exercise, eats really bad choices and then complains that he doesn't feel well. It is frustrating, so I know how you feel. good luck

Answer 8

A person can not and will not change unless he/she wants to. And it sounds like he doesn't want to, so I wouldn't bug him about it. If you feel the need to approach him about it keep it simple "I love you daddy, I want you to be in my life (and one day your grandchild's life) for a very long time, & I know that if you don't change they way you eat/exercise you may not be around to see your grandchildren or maybe even give me away at my wedding."

Other than that, he is an adult and will have to live with the consequences of his own decisions.

Answer 9

I'm sorry to say you can only convince him so much. He has to want to get into shape on his own. Now I would explain my feelings and tell him do it for me at least. If that doesn't work try offering to go out for a small walk each night with him so he doesn't feel so alone while doing it. When it comes to eating right you have to do it together one person can only be as successfull as the support that is given to him. So rally around him and anybody else that will and you will see results. Lots of Luck to you. You should be proud of yourself to care so much. God bless you. :-)

Answer 10

Instead of saying Dad you are fat. Try Dad, can we spend some time together? Then ask him to go swimming. Instead of saying Dad you don't care and you believe your life is complete. Try Dad, I want to go walking and would love it if you would go with me so we can catch up on things and you know I love your company. Instead of saying Dad you don't care. Ask the family to schedule a family date night and go bowling at the local bowling alley. Tell him you want to pick a father/son activity and pick a sport. Basketball, tennis or karate. Something for the two of you to allow you to spend quality time together and create some memories.

There are ways to encourage someone and ways to discourage someone. Try it -- it may work. Good luck to you.