I work at a Daycare, I volunteered there for 4 years before I got hired (when I had my 18th bday not long ago). I sometimes see parents yell at their kids, and I could never do it. How do they? I mean, I may be in a room alone with 20 screaming kids (no, they don't follow max. capacity rules there), but I somehow manage to calmly but firmly set the rules and settle the kids down. They all obey me pretty well. But screaming? I never could. Spanking, yelling, any of that stuff is just horrible to me. I'm so calm around the kids, and I love each and every one of them, and screaming just seems wrong.
Does anybody agree with me?
By the way, I'm due in December with a boy. VERY EXCITED!
2007-08-03 17:45:59 · 24 answers · asked by Mikki Lynn Breisch 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
That is really great and congrats. It is different watching other children and raising your own child. Children are more comfortable with their family and most kids(minus the ones who are terrified of their parents) act worse for their parents than they do for other people. Some people think it is bad parenting(and some of it is) but it is a natural thing. Don't you remember giving your parents some trouble? But that is just an explanation, that doesn't mean it is ok to yell or spank or whatever, we have all been raised differently and that affects our parenting, whether for the good, or the worse.
2007-08-03 17:56:10 · answer #1 · answered by nanners454 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, read carefully because you are going to have a wake up call when that little boy you are about to have turns two.
I volunteer in a nursury at my church every sunday and I love it. The kids listen and are respectful. Even my own kids listen and behave when we are there(and I am not in the class). The thing is when parents are around. The parents are trying to have a functional relationship with a miniature of themselves. What I am trying to say is, that little child shows all the strong(independent) traits that are so valuable to the parents. Those strong traits conflict. Hence, the yelling and screaming by both parties.
As for the spanking as long as it is delt out in love with an extreme reserve and not in anger then I don't see a problem. Some children, not all, need a firmer approach to disciplin. Time out at home doesn't always work for everyone, but it is good to give it a try before resorting to a spank on the toosh. The thing to remember about spanking is that it is a last resort and not the first. And always in loving disciplin and never, never in anger.
2007-08-04 01:31:23 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie S 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
before I had kids I judged people the way your doing. I do not believe in spanking but when your a parent you will look at those parents very differently. And just praise them for being parents at all.It's a very hard job and you can't always keep your voice quiet. It sounds very harsh when you hear the parents yelling but you don't know if that child has repeatedly done the thing the parent is frustrated with. I just want to say congrats to all parents that are being parents.
2007-08-04 20:42:51 · answer #3 · answered by jessica T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found that some people have more patience with little kids than others. You are probably one of these people. But you will learn that children don't act the same with other adults as they do with their own parents. They will push you as far as they can and some times you feel like yelling and screaming. Not that I think this is good. I totally agree that that is the time when you have to practice patience even more. Good Luck on your little one! God Bless!
2007-08-04 06:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by KatyCat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, if I was babysitting a child that was the same age as my child, and the child was acting out and being bad, I wouldn't be able to yell at them or spank them. That kid isn't mine. MY little girl on the other hand, can get yelled at and/or spanked because she's MINE. You don't go around yelling at random kids or putting your hands on them. You could get in serious trouble for that.
When you have your baby, and he is drawing on your walls, or running out into the street, I can bet you any amount of money that you won't sit there and give him a loving hug and a stern little "chat".
Just sayin'! Its a whole new ballgame when you have one of your own :)
2007-08-04 04:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by tommygirl6794092 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Sometimes children need to be spanked or yelled at so that they know that their behavior is not allowed at all. When my brother and I were little children, we were told over and over that if we were playing with a ball and it rolled into the street, we were not to go into the street to get it. We were to go into the house and get an adult to get the ball.
When my little brother was about 4 y/o he ran into the street to get the ball he was playing with and didn't see a car coming toward him. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped only inches from my brother.
My brother got a firm spanking and was yelled at when he was told to never do that again. Would you have rather that he was talked to softly, not spanked, and the next day did the same thing and was killed?
My brother never ran into the street again and I'm glad that over 50 years later, I still have my younger brother!
It's wonderful that you are able to do what you do and that the children obey you without you having to raise your voice. Sometimes there are situations with children at home that require a different approach.
I am with you however, that many parents yell at their kids when they don't need to and that it's not good for their child. It's the setting of firm, consistant limits, with negative consequences for inappropriate behavior and positive consequences for appropriate behavior that works best and is best for the child.
To end, I want to share something that I have never forgoten. When I was about 10 y/o, I was walking to school and I met one of my classmates and he was crying. When I asked him why he was crying, he replied, "I'm crying because my father loves me so much that he will spank me when I do something wrong.".
I was touched to the heart, for you see, I had no father.
2007-08-04 01:14:53 · answer #6 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think, that some people have the patience and some don't. If I was "babysitting" or working with other people's children, I would definitely NOT yell at them. I think some children are just really difficult and frustrating to handle. I myself do not yell at my children, I find "the naughty corner" works just fine. I do not belive it hitting children, it is totally wrong, I agree.
Congratulations!! By the way!
I wish the best of luck to you, your partner and you baby boy. I hope you have picked out a very nice name for him. Good luck with everything, and I hope the pregnancy continues to go well.
2007-08-04 06:54:05 · answer #7 · answered by x. Mommy Kate .x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had to raise my voice and speak firmly but so far haven't yelled at my daughter. I only criticize parents who yell at their kids constantly (like my sil). Parents are under a lot of stress these days. Most households have two fulltime working parents who are just trying to get by as well as trying to raise kids and run a household. Cut them some slack. Parents who yell sometimes aren't bad and abusive people. You don't have a child yet so don't start judging other parents. Wait unitl you've been in the game a while!
Best of luck on your pregnancy!
2007-08-04 04:41:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
congrats on the baby. Just so you know every method is different. I dont believe in yelling, but I do spank my kids. It's never out of anger and not to discipline its to teach them. My daughter is 8 and rarely needs a spanking anymore, but I think kids should have a healthy fear and respect for their parents. You use whatever method you feel is best, but sometimes they need a firm hand. God bless
2007-08-04 00:57:20 · answer #9 · answered by kittykat 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i understand where your coming from, but sometimes yelling is needed!!
i have a very very rowdy son who doesnt listen to anything i say most of the time and it winds me up something chronic! i will ONLY yell at him if all of the other things i do doesnt work like putting him in time out or taking his toys away.
he went through a stage of hitting me and instead of hitting him back and showing him its ok to be physical i yelled at him.
But im not one of those people who scream at kids in the middle of a shop or something. i dont embarrass myself that way, if he needs to be told off i will tell him off but not scream at him in public.
Some kids wont need to be told off but some do and everyone has different parenting skills.
Good luck with your pregnancy xx
2007-08-04 04:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by saera 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋