Why do people constantly look down on me for being a young mom, I'm just as capable of loving my daughter so what's so bad about it?
2007-08-03 17:09:56 · 16 answers · asked by Melina's Mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Like Lawrence W said, you may be a great mother. However, other people may be seeing things you are not aware of because you are inexperienced.
Try not to think in generalities, but pin down WHO do I think looks down on me and what possible reasons could they have?
If you decide they're just prejudiced, then ignore them and focus on the positive comments you get.
Parenting is the most difficult job in the world, and NOBODY does it perfectly, never has, never will. So there will be many parents no better than you, and plenty much worse!
However, because parenting is complex and difficult, it's always good to reflect on your progress and identify both your strengths and your weaknesses.
We all struggle, we all make mistakes, and we ALL do some things right!
There are several books on "GOOD-ENOUGH parenting" which is the helpful idea that the minor mistakes all parents make do not ruin their children's lives, and that raising parents' self-steem actually makes them better parents.
Cheer up, you are probably doing a great job!!!
Keep in touch! xx
EDIT: I see a lot of people have assumed you are single and irresponsible.... I don't agree with this attitude at all. Young does not equal irresponsible, and "single" does not equal "bad mother"!!!
2007-08-03 17:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just life. Society has always looked "down" at young Mom's. I think it's wrong and I assure you that you can be a young Mom and still be a good Mom.
I had my first daughter at the age of 18 (pregnant at 17) and my second daughter at the age of 22 (pregnant at 21). I was a really good Mom and still am. I love my girls more than life itself and I have raised two really good, down to earth children.
Just because we are younger does not mean that we can not be as good of a Mom as someone who is in their 30's or 40's.
Don't allow anyone to look down on you or to make you feel inferior. Love your daughter and pay no mind to society!
2007-08-04 00:15:32 · answer #2 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that look down on you they just think that you could have done something good with your life and better yourself before having a kid. There are a lot of young parents that wish if they would have listened to someone that they would not be in the position they are in now and could be going to school for a better education instead of trying to be an adult and now they can not deal with the adult responsibility. Being an adult is not as easy as you think and i know you feel it know since you have to be an adult for someone smaller than you. You are not the first young person to have a kid and you will not be the last. hat ever you are doing to provide for your kid continue doing it and show the people that do not have confidence in you that you will be a good mom and you will make it but you have to believe that you can. If your not in school go back it will make all the difference in the world to further your education and to show your kid that you did it and you did it for him/her.
2007-08-04 00:34:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? That's a very important part of the equation, but you didn’t state that information. So, I'm going to assume that you're a minor.
You seem to feel that people are looking down on you *merely* because of your age, but that's likely not the case, although your age may play a factor.
When it comes to very young parents, the issue is generally not that they lack love for their child, but it's other things such as not having the financial ability to provide for their child (and that is one of your parental responsibilities), not having the maturity and wisdom to make good parenting decisions, etc.
2007-08-04 03:21:17 · answer #4 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think you got the message wrong. They are different reasons why people look at you...Probably the most is because the guys likes you, and want to get to know you. The reason they frown is because they see you with a child, and they become disappointed. I am almost sure it is guys that seem upset.
Being a good mother...You should know in your heart if you are a good mother. No one can determine that just by looking at you, and anyone who can judge you in that manner is wrong, but I am sure that's not the case. You must be a very pretty girl.
God bless
2007-08-04 01:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by tony 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being young all by itself doesn't make you a bad mom.
Are you being responsible and taking care of your child (feeding, cleaning, providing for) or does someone else (like your parents) have to do it?
Are you teaching your child to behave so that they aren't a problem for other people?
The advantage of being young is you have lots of energy to chase them around! The advantage of being old is you've learned a lot!
2007-08-04 00:16:24 · answer #6 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
fuc them keep doin what u doin i am too a young mom and i know im a good one weither others think so or not. girl dont worry about what other people say because when it come down to your the one taking care of that little princess tell the fucckers to go buy you some dammn diapers or something
2007-08-04 00:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by brun!pinky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being young makes you inexperienced.
Are you sure that they're not offering help they think you need instead of "looking down".
As an older friend of young parents, I often found myself being bossy when I only meant to advise & help.
2007-08-04 01:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by Irv S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
being young doesn't make you a bad parent anymore then being older makes anyone a better parent we all make mistakes raising our kids all we can do is pray the mistakes do not outweigh the right choices we make just love your baby and always put her and her well being first no matter the sacrifice and you will be on the right track.
2007-08-04 00:46:46 · answer #9 · answered by patbgone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People will look down on somebody for one reason or another that's just the excuse they use for you. Whether it's money, career, education, whatever. They always gotta feel better about themselves by looking down on others. Hold your head up high and know they're ignorant.
2007-08-04 00:31:51 · answer #10 · answered by tired mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋