If your friend could not have a child, would you carry her child for her?

Question

I truly don't think I could carry a baby & then give it to anyone.
The bond is too strong for me.
Even though it would not be my egg or husband's sperm, I would still feel that way.

I have always admired women who are surrogates.
What an amazing gift!

Answer 1

If it was for a good friend, who would make a good parent, and who I would stay close enough to to continue having a relationship with the child, then yes. You do bond with the child in your womb, but I think I could handle giving it to a good friend and taking the role of "special aunt" or something, as opposed to mother. Part of this might be the fact that, while I love kids, I find babies kinda boring. Still, it's a big sacrafice. Being pregnant is great in some ways, but there are alot of "not so great" parts too. I think, though, that if I was doing it for a friend, I would definitely insist on a C-section.

On the other hand, I think I'd talk to my friend first about whether or not it was truly important in her situation to have her own biological child. There are alot of children needing adoption. In the US, many of these children have emotional or learning problems because healthy babies are usually snatched up quickly. I can see how parents might be daunted by the challenge of adopting a special needs child. I grew up with two adopted special needs brothers, and it's not an easy thing. Even if a parent does not wish that children, healthy babies are available in large quantities from foreign countries. These adoptions cost far more, but so does a surrogate pregnancy. I would make sure that my friend really REALLY needed to see the baby as a copy of her own genes before I did it. Still, I recognize that for some couples, they bond of having a child that is truly "half of each" is very important, and I would be willing to help give this gift.

Answer 2

I don't know if I would do it for a friend but I have offered to do it for my brother and his wife. I have for children and they have been unable to have any. They are great with my kids and I think that because the baby would be a part of my family it will be easier knowing that I will still have close contact. Also knowing that genitically the baby is not mine will be in my mind from the start.

Answer 3

Besides the fact that I'm a guy, No, I would not, because we have too much of an overpopulation issue, and I would not be willing to play a supporting role in adding to that dire situation. There are plenty of children that need to be adopted. People are selfish to think that they need to have a baby from their own blood to be happy.

Answer 4

I could, and would, gladly. I love my children, but am capable of seeing the other side, where my friend needed my help, and what a joy parenting is. If I could help her experience that, it would all be well worth it. While I of course love my children while I'm pregnant with them, it's not overwhelming until they are born and I'm interacting with them more, breastfeeding them, etc. Before that it's a general kind of love- maybe that would make it easier for me than for some other women.

Answer 5

in a perfect world, I'd say yes. before i became pregnant I would have said yes, but now that I'm pregnant, theres no way I could ever give a baby away, even if it wasn't made from my egg or sperm from my fiancee. I'm way too connected to this baby already

Answer 6

I could because I have a true deep love for my friends. I would want them to experience the happiness of being a parent. It would be a selfless act of love and kindness. Just because the baby belongs to someone else, doesn't mean you can't love him/her. Children need all the love they can get.

Answer 7

I think it depends on how you will feel after giving the baby to her. In my case, i couldn't it would be too hard to give away a baby that, has been in my womb 9 months...bond is too strong .

Answer 8

I would. If it was a person I loved and cared about I would do it in a heartbeat. I have 3 children who I love more than anything and if I could help someone experience what I have, I would.

Answer 9

i think it would matter how good a friend she was, how much she wanted a baby, and the position im in at the moment.

i agree, women who could do that are truly amazing.

Answer 10

Heck no! I couldn't if I wanted to because I had problems with pre-term labor and am now at high risk if I get pregnant again.

I admire women who do it also. .