How would you feel if your child went to spend summer with their grandma, and this happened?

Question

The child calls home telling you that songs you both once loved to sing together (think music by Pink Floyd, The Eagles, and even Chaka Khan) are "evil", and the child says to you,"Mamma, we have to start listening to Jesus music because your music is evil."

The kid has been there a total for 3 weeks, mind you.

Also, now certain programs you like to watch are evil too. Stuff like Robot Chicken, Family Guy, and even Good Times. Yep. The kid tells you these shows are all evil. Before he left, he enjoyed all these shows too. The child is about to be eight. The child also informs you in a phone conversation, "Mamma, you have to stop watching these bad shows, so you can be good. Okay?"

The grandmother has said nothing to you about any of this, she just acts all aloof and stoic on the phone, like she is less than pleased to be speaking to you whenever you do speak to her. Also, she is dragging your child to church 3x a week. Without your consent.

What do you do?

I'd really love to know how any music can be considered evil, especially the bands/artists I mentioned. You know what? If you have an illogical contribution, don't bother responding.

Frosty. She is my ex-mother in law, and people change, love.

Idaho mike...I am sorry, but what do you expect an eight year old to watch? I see nothing wrong with Robot Chicken, maybe you do. Oh well. I like to give my kids some freedom to chose their entertainment. You are the assumption creator here of my parenting simply because I do not share your vulcanized Christian beliefs. Yet, I won't assume anything about yours.

Answer 1

I think that you should pull out a Bible and quote your ex mother in law some verses like these.

Romans 14:4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

Romans 14:22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves.

The Bible doesn't say that any particular music or television show is "evil". Ask her to find the passages that she is using to base her judgments on.

Answer 2

Doesn't sound like she's "dragging" the kid...sounds as if he's enjoying himself.
So, he's experiencing something different than he gets at home, it won't kill him, and he'll be back with (ugh) Robot Chicken before you know it. (Geeze, couldn't it at least be something entertaining...like Sponge Bob?) It won't hurt him to listen to some "Jesus music" either, I promise. At least you know he's not listening to anything profane or nasty...one of my older kids actually introduced her young neices and nephews to the Insane Clown Posse, and let them watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and they survived.
Kids are pretty resilient...and he's eight, after all...he's enjoying the "shock value" he's getting, probably from both Mom and Grandma. Kids is kids...I raised seven of my own. This one is at an age where getting the adults all in a snit is fun...until it all backfires on him, and the adults are not speaking to each other.
You and Grandma are both incredibly stupid if you let him get away with that.
I think that if you pull an "intervention" now, you'll only reinforce her by proving that you are, indeed, under Satan's influence. You could wind up with a tiny little rabid fundie on your hands. Best to just go with the flow, for now.

Answer 3

Do you do anything that the child suspects is questionable, other than the so-called 'evil' music?
Was there something before this happened that the child would've said to you that you wouldn't listen to?
Does this 'grandmother' spoil the child, or buy them off with bribes in any way (candy, toys, lavish attention, money, games, shopping, etc.)?

Answer 4

First off, I do believe music can be "bad" (lead you away from good) as well as movies, books, pictures, et cetera. Usually though it isn't too bad if you're ignorant, at least not as far as you are concerned. For example, play Stairway to Heaven backward and you get some pretty nasty things. The song itself isn't bad but the group can't be all that good if they put stuff like that in their music.

Anyhow...as for myself the situation wouldn't come up. However, if I were in your situation, I would teach the child my point of view, let the child hear grandma's POV and let the child decide.

Answer 5

!
I'd say you should have a word with the grandma and explain that you're not happy about it. If she continues, bring your kid home early!
And then you need to talk to your son... it's a tricky one, because outright saying their grandma is wrong is a) going to be hard to phrase, and b) close to imposing your views on the child, which is almost as bad(ish) as what she is doing. I don't know... maybe if you explain that some people think these things are wrong, but you don't believe they are. It doesn't sound like your child is trusting grandma over you, just that they have innocently trusted what they have been told, and assume that you must not know, because you're mum, and you wouldn't knowingly do wrong! Tell them you don't think there is any reason to worry, and hopefully that will sort it.
Give it a bit of time. 3 weeks out of 8 years is nothing, they'll probably forget soon enough.

Answer 6

Go get the child immediately and refuse to let the child visit her again if she wants to see him or her again that she must visit. Then explain to the child that it's not true watching them shows and listening to that music is not evil only certain people feel that way and he or she shouldn't worry about that. If that ever happened to me I'd probably do a bit more then that but thats would I would want to do I think anger would get the better of me in that situation.

Answer 7

whilst i think of its great your niece desires to spend this time with you adult males I do agree that each and every weekend is a great way too lots and that no longer even asking your permission yet in basic terms exhibiting up isn't proper. i could permit your husband be conscious of it is he is going to stay homestead on weekends to observe the little ones and his niece then she is extra then welcome to come back over. If he is going to be long gone then it would be as much as you no be counted if or no longer she comes over. As for handling her mom...in basic terms end. If she calls tell her she desires to talk including your husband and flow away it at that. Your husband has no problems together with her staying using fact he escapes the duty of somewhat having to observe her. specific she is 12 yet whilst 12 did no longer require any style of person supervision then 12 year olds could be residing on their very own.

Answer 8

Well when they returned I would let them know that everyone has different beliefs of whats right and whats wrong. And then I would not let them spend that length time with their grandmother. I would explain to the grandmother why you wouldn't let your child spend that much time with her, that she overstepped boundaries and that you didn't appreciate her telling your child those things. And explain to her that you have different beliefs and if she doesn't respect your wishes then don't let her spend time with your child.

Answer 9

First explain to your child why the songs and shows are not bad, that is just the grandmothers opinion, and that watching these show and playing these songs does not make you bad, then tell grandma to keep her opinions to herself, and ask her to show you in her Bible where it says not to watch these shows or play this music and that if you do they are going to send you to hell. I would tell her not to push her religion on my child, and tell her that this is my ground rules and if she wants to keep seeing the child she will play by them. Good Luck

Answer 10

First I would cut Grandma's phone lines and board up her house, locking her up inside, well fortified so she can't get out. Then I would round up all the sound equipment I could find (speakers, amplifiers, etc.) and surround her house with a wall of it. Then I would blast Dark Side of the Moon at full volume, 24 hours a day, 7days a week, until Grandma learned her lesson. And if I had an 8 year old, I wouldn't let him/her watch Family Guy or Robot Chicken.