MEN:When looking to settle down with a woman, how important is her sexual history to you? ie. to many partners

Question

my question is, i am 25 and have been with around 40 men, but i am wanting something more serious now. so, i guess i am asking, is something like that important to men? is it truely possible to find a man, who doesnt care that i have been with that many other men in my past, and will be able to overlook that or no, will no man ever accept that? im beginning to think that i wont ever find that special someone due to my past

Answer 1

My advice is: don't focus on your sexual history as you meet and date your prospective partner. If you focus on it, he is bound to as well. Instead, focus on getting to know each other. In a relationship, sex is an important factor, but love, trust, honesty and ease of relating are ultimately the most important things. When a man falls in love with who you are, and not you as a sex object, then your sexual history becomes very unimportant. It is who you are now that is important, not who you were then. If your sexual history has resulted in an STD, then it is important to be honest and forthcoming about that. Otherwise your sexual history was just that: history. If he asks, be honest. Also be clear with him that what you are wanting now is a deep, meaningful relationship and not random sex. Any man who would judge you on the criterion of your sexual history is not a man you want as a partner.

Incidentally, my wife has many more lovers in her past than I do. My wife is a fantastic, dynamic, beautiful, intelligent and talented woman. I trust in her honesty because she has always been forthcoming. She does not try to hide or excuse her past because she is not ashamed of it, and neither should you be. If the man you love ever feels insecure, which he may, reassure him from your heart that he is the love of your life. Shower him with affection and be more to him than just a sex object. History fades quickly in the light of true love.

Answer 2

At least your telling them the the truth...

The above user is wrong, If you keep this secrets then it would be selfish and relationships can't work with secrets. How can you truly expect to settle down with someone for life if you have secrets? This is wrong to you partner.

I personally wouldn't date a women who as slept with a lot of men. I don't think you should have a problem finding someone who will accept that. Here is the deal don't mention to you partner at first wait until you are really serious and considering marriage. Have him see who you are then move in and break the bad news, we all have secrets.

Answer 3

Its a personal choice there doll, I suspect most guys would feel a bit more comfortable getting together with a woman who has had less lovers. Im only guessing here tho?...For starters the guys will probably have in the back of their mind...."Oooo will she be comparing me to the other 40 guys??" etc....personally I dont care how many guys a woman has been with, well as long as she's not the town bike and she's not chasing me around to be number 5 for the night? (Hate it when that happens). Bwahahaha..........Sorry I cant be of much help I dont really concern myself with dating these days, too friggin busy earning a living etc.

Answer 4

Never tell a man an exact figure..they just can't deal with but I would let him now that it is more men then you are currently comfortable with (as honesty is the best policy). But let him no that's the past and you are ready to move on and be a one man woman. But a man has to take you as you are and you deserve to be respected. Men are whores too so no worries! And don't have this conversation until it comes up or you guys are semi serious

Answer 5

I think the biggest concern after STDs, etc. would be comparisons. How does he compare to all the others. With 40, the is probably going to be at least a few that were better at it. Also, if you ask him to do something a little different, he will wonder where you learned it.

I would down play the past unless you think that it is likely to come up from someone you knew in the past.

A lot will depend on how much he loves you and vice-versa.

Answer 6

Several thoughts: Your past is no one's business. You don't have to tell if you don't want to. And two, there are a lot of guys who don't care about the past. They're interested in the future. And, they make the best kind. If you worry about this, then it will always be an issue. It truly doesn't matter, except to those with little minds.

Answer 7

Well, I'd say 40 is far too many by the time you're 25. I mean, if I wanted to get super-aids or something I might go for it, but other than that... I suppose that would be a good way to commit suicide, if I were so inclined.

Answer 8

40 men-wow

if you change partners so fast
how long am i going to be with you
2-3 days so why bother
but if i will get to know you and find out i can trust you that you are not going to find another guy next week i will not care about your sexual history
good luck in finding a special someone

Answer 9

I'm only going from my own opinion, so other guys may not feel this way. Yes, I think it matters. I wouldn't want to be with someone who had been with that many people, I don't think I could trust them, Plus I'd like to be with someone who I thought we'd be trying new things out with. I'm probably wrong, but I'd think you'd have been in every position with someone else. And the toy out of the package, wouldn't be as new as I'd think it was.(get what I'm saying) Others will say, If your comfortable with yourself, as a guy then it shouldn't matter. OH BUT IT DOES. Sorry, Just giving you my own truthful opinion.

Answer 10

well there will definitely be someone out there who will not care about how many you have slept with before.

but it won't be easy still. since the chance that the issue might crop up if you ever had a fight with him.

but it's part of a relationship. and how the two of you work together to make the relationship work is the key.