i have been with my on off boyfriend for3 years now but the age gap is concerning me. he is 33 and im 19 and we have been together since i was 16. i always thought that we would be judged on our age gap and not on our love for each other. i no its not exactly normal but the way i look at it u cant help who u fall in love with. i would just like to kno somebody elses opinion. please understand that i kno it doesnt generally happn but we do love each other.
2007-08-03 12:58:04 · 17 answers · asked by Sexy English Blonde 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
by the way in england the sexual age is 16 so it isnt illegal for anyone who lives outside the uk
2007-08-03 13:06:05 · update #1
age gaps matter less as you get older. i think the fact that your relationship is "on/off" is more of a concern than the age gap.
2007-08-03 13:01:02 · answer #1 · answered by L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not knocking the love connection that you two may share. But think about it here. If you have been with this guy since you were 16 and are 19 now and have been on again and off again, doesn't that tell you that in some way you guys aren't on the same level? I mean I know you are worried about the age gap and all. But what about him? Does he just want you because you are a hot young thing he can get away with being with? I mean sure he may be in love with the idea of you sure. But I say you are the one in control here. If you think the age thing is a real issue then you need to tell him in the most rational way that you think its best to see other people around your own age. Also if you stop and think about whether or not you are ready for such adult decisions he might pose to you. I mean marriage at such a young age? When you may not even be certain of who you are and what you want to do with your life. What if you get pregnant? Again at such a young age and all and if you get bored with him. Babe there are so many what ifs its not even funny at all. You have to do some internal growing inside for yourself, so that if you do become very serious about this guy and the age gap doesn't matter anymore. You need to know that you can be in the relationship for the long haul no matter what others think of you.
2007-08-03 20:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true you can't help with who you fall in love with, I just hope that you are living your life happily and that you are getting an education and maybe a career going. You were just a child when you met him and he was already a man, which leaves me to believe that you were impressionable and naive about a lot of things. I am not judging you, but I want you to know that down the road you will grow up and change and perhaps you will see him differently and realize that being with him may have taken your youth away from you. If you were older lets say 25 and he was 39 I would not be as concerned. Age is but a number when you are a grown woman.
However, you are only 19. I remember when I was 19 and I was having the time of my life in college, going out with my girlfriends to bars and clubs, meeting guys, traveling, and working odd jobs here and there. Maybe it is time you do the same, live your life, if this is love then down the road you will meet up again. But girlfriend, you need to find yourself and the only way to do that is by being young and free unencumbered by an older man.
2007-08-03 20:07:43 · answer #3 · answered by Kaylin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the age is concerning you then maybe that should be a sign for you, that this is not the realationship for you. You are only 19 and he is 33. If you really love him with all you heart then you should work on staying together. But then again you say on/off again boyfriend. If you have only been together for 3 yrs and are on and off then you got to know that there is a problem there. Just remember that he is 33 and has lived his life and got with you when you were 16 and he was 30!!!! You are now 19 and who's to say that when you hit that partying stage in you life (21-25) you are even going to want to stay with him. Just remember that you will be out with friends and see guys your age when you are alittle older and you may realize he was not the one for you. I dont want to say anything that is going to make you not love him anymore but just face it, you have those 20's coming up and things just may change. And if he is 33 and is not fully commited to you (without break-ups in between) then are you sure that he really loves you and its not just lust for you, as you are a young girl. I wish the best for you in what ever decision you make and if it is to stay, you need him to stay commited to you with no breaks in between! He is at the age he should be looking to settle down and be married. GOOD LUCK ON THE FUTURE!!!!
2007-08-03 20:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by RAMONA G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing WRONG with it. But think about how different you were at 16 and now. Compare how he's changed from 33 to 30. Think about how you MIGHT be in 3-5 years from now. My point is, you will be a fairly different person in the future and he will have changed minutely. As you get older you will either grow into him or away from him.
2007-08-03 20:03:20 · answer #5 · answered by Keith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you this if you love each other so much, 1. why are you just on & off and not steady.. & 2.. if your 19 now what does it matter what other people think!!! you answered your own question when you said you can't help who you fall in love with, So stop B,S'ing and be with him already and good luck in the future I personally am rooting for you to be happy & wealthy in all you endeavors
2007-08-03 20:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kenneth C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that if u guys have been on and off than u guys are unsure of some-thing! you guys should talk it over! plus+ i think that you should find some-body ur age,some-body in the same generation as u! becuz...when ever u are willing to have babies he will be all cramped up! i also don't think that u can control love but u can wait 4 new love tho! and u are still very young so, you need to go out and have ur fun while u can! becuz pretty soon u r gonna have lots of responsibilities! just be good freinds!!! listen to ur heart not ur brain!
2007-08-03 20:08:27 · answer #7 · answered by sk8tr_d8tr95 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is so totally wrong because at 16 he was 30 that is so wrong but cosidered at your age around when you were sixteen you would be showed as a child it really all depends on how your love is with him and his love with you.
2007-08-03 20:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand, everyone hates the fact that I fell for a guy that's 17 and I just turned 15. If you love him, then it doesn't matter what people think.
2007-08-03 20:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by Cassie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the age gap is a big difference especially if you were already seeing him when you were 16 that is illegal
2007-08-03 20:00:13 · answer #10 · answered by nisee♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋