Time to give up on women, some where meant to be alone I guess?

Question

I am almost 19 and I have been shy around girls ever since I can remember. I was never able to tell any of my crushes how I felt or ask them out or anything. I am going to college this fall and never had a girlfriend or even a first kiss, I am way to shy to even approach girls. . I just dont feel that women are attracted to me. I dont know why. I am really athletic and built, I am good looking I think never been told otherwise, kind honest and respectful, pretty smart, can have fun doing just about anything, but I just feel like I am unattractive for some reason. I dont know how to stop the shyness either, even the few girls I knew was still shy around them. Also no girl has ever found me attractive and I went to highschool with over 1500 more girls then guys, not one girl ever. I think I am just giving up on the whole thing, I just have to accept girls want nothing to do with me and just move on , so how do I do this and just not be attracted to women

I am just to shy so if the right girl ever came she would just walk by cuz I would never be able to approach her ever. Maybe the right girl already came I just missed her, so I dont think I will ever fall in love cuz I am way way to shy

I have not focused on it for about 17 years or so and no girl has came or been attracted to me, I have to just face that I was meant to be alone in this world, so how do I do this

Answer 1

Hey there :)

Hang in there, I know it's rough, I'm 19 too and haven't had a boyfriend yet.

I just finished my first year of college and let me tell you, I don't think I would have had nearly as much fun if I had had a boyfriend during that time. I made so many new friends, had so many experiences, and yeah a boyfriend wasn't one of them, but that doesn't mean I'll never get one. I needed that time to focus on myself and what kind of person I want to be. Having a boyfriend only would have complicated things.

The same goes for you. You (and I, for that matter), are both very young still.

I'll give you some advice: DO NOT date someone just for the sake of having a girlfriend. I got offers twice last year for a boyfriend, and turned them both down because I did not have feelings for them. Don't waste your time with someone you don't have feelings for. It's gonna be that much sweeter if you wait for someone you really, truly care about.

Hang in there, be strong, and remember, good things come to those who wait, great things come to those who wait longer ;)

Answer 2

Try new things, that is how you create something from nothing; a cooking class, or flower arranging, a swim class, (I took massage and facials classes) & as you realize there are things you are good at, you'll gain the confidence. What you don't see is that I took these classes after a painful divorce due to him cheating. It does take some time and hard work, but one thing I remind myself, for the most part, other people really do have the same nervous/ shy feelings and they had to overcome them too. If they can do it ,I can too, and so can you. And there are so many kinds of people, just because one person says confidence is attractive doesn't mean everyone thinks so. God has made a variety of people and you just haven't found you niche yet. That will come as you try new things. As for kissing it doesn't = a valuable person. You just can't see your worth yet. Take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually; and as you do you will see your worth w/ more clarity. I've been alone and that was when I learned the most of my strengths and weakness, my likes/ dislikes. Doomed isn't the word for it. It's when I became me. Some people like me some people don't, all I can do is be myself. I learned this; No one else can do it for it you, no one else can be you as perfectly as you do it . That's when I'm the happiest, when I'm true to myself. Take care.

Answer 3

Oh honey! You answered your own question - it doesn't matter how attractive a guy is physically, girls are WAY attracted to confidence! I spent three years with a guy that was pretty skinny and not bad looking, but not a super-hunk. But good lord he was confident!
Confidence in yourself isn't something you can force, either. It's a long process of getting to know exactly who you are and being truly proud of that. That's exactly what college is for - you are embarking on a new experience that will change your life, and teach you more about yourself than you ever knew. I didn't have a boyfriend in high school either. I thought boys would never be interested in me. I had zero confidence. College really changed all that, and now I truly believe that I can have any man I want (not to sound egotistical!). Don't worry, have fun, explore your likes and interests and talents, make lots of good friends, and the confidence will come followed closely by adoring women :-) Just remember to respect them and treat them right!

Answer 4

I was once painfully shy to the extent I did not wish to go to school and would make up excuses for example, too include being ill to avoid interacting with the other kids. In addition, I would not take photo's hardly at all... Only school photo's because I had to take those. I too never felt the boys thought I was attractive and I still struggle at times with my self-esteem. However, I have made significant strides. First, people can sense when you are not comfortable with yourself. It sends them mixed signals. They may read you as being untrustworthy etc. Even though you may be a very honest person, a lack of confidence in yourself / questioning yourself can make others question you too. You mentioned that you are good looking in your mind and that you have a lot to offer. If you can say those things about yourself - that's great. At what point however do you begin to believe them is the real question. If you truly believed them about yourself the confidence would follow. Some steps to help you overcome your shyness / develop your confidence are 1. Continue to remind yourself of your strong points / assets and the fact you are still young and there is time. 2. Remember there are others that feel just like you do. 3. Seek counseling 4. Strive to develop friendships - no pressure. Don't look for intimate relationships "first" but friendships. 5. Join a social group / new activity to broaden your scope of friends. 6. Try an online dating site and express that you are shy in your conversation upfront. 7. When you are ready - take photo's of yourself and post them. Be prepared because there will be both good and bad reviews regardless of how attractive you are. Not everyone will find you attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And you will be rejected at times - like it or not. That's life. 8. Take a public speaking course. 9. Make it a point every day to simply say hello to someone ( a stranger ) passing by, look them directly in the eyes, forcing yourself not to look away or put your head down and smile. Watch their response to you. 10. Relax... P i E ~

Answer 5

well the point is u don't want to be attractive , girls ever don't care of looking or something like that ( most of the time ) ur problem is just being shy, i don't give u the answer or anything else i just simply show u a direction if u go this way u can help urself otherwise , yes forget it ..
take ur heads up and whatever u do imagine u r the only one in this world and no one else is matter ( u will see allot of changes in urself) and just think really no one else is matter , OK when u learned to do this try to find one girl just to talk to her, don't think about having relation just talk to her , u made girls in ur mind a monster or big obstacle in ur life that u cant pass, when u talk to them u will understand how simple and how easy minded they are , ( most of them are sweet more than boys and easy to have connection) so just talk
later i think u will get much better , but remember one thing if u become successful one day to have girls around u don't ever break any girls heart , even if she did that , cus if they break they will be ok alot harder than a boy can heal himself dont ever forget this part
regards
james

Answer 6

First you need to Like Yourself! Which is sounds like even through you think you are attractive and well built, you also sound like you don't like yourself very much.

I do understand what you mean about being shy around girls. In school I was very shy around boys. They might as well have been aliens...

I bet there are alot of 19 year old men who have never kissed someone... you are not necessarily alone in that. Just get more confidence in yourself. If you do then the next comes easy...... And maybe no girl told you you were attractive because you held yourself apart from them.

Answer 7

You are only 19. Rememer that. You have a lot of life and experience to live yet. When you are older and more mature you will be less shy.

I never dated in highschool either. I didn't date much in college too. I was painfully shy for a long time ... then after I graduated, started working and learning how to interact with other people as part of my profession - I just became less shy.

Eventually I had no problems dating and finally found a wonderful man to share my life with. I'm now 35 (it's not as old as it sounds!). So take your time, enjoy college and whatever happens, happens.

Answer 8

Ah, Baby. Don't give up on Women, just girls. Women and girls are very different. Girls are immature and don't really know what they want. Women on the other hand know what they want and aren't afraid to talk to or approach a shy young man. Just be patient and the right Woman will come along. Good Luck. Live Life to the Fullest and Enjoy Every Minute of It.....

Answer 9

U cant be good at something without practice. If u cant talk to girls, your problem is gonna continue untill you start asking girls out. You need to understand women to attract women. You have to be confident. You can't be confident about yourself if u are " scared" to talk to girls. Be yourself, dont ever doubt yourself, if it was meant to be, it'll be, if not, fugetaboutit. You may be strong physically, but your showing how weak you are mentally.

You Control Your Life
Grow some marbles unless you wanna be miserable and depressed. I dont mean that in a bad way. Im being blunt.



If your wealthy enough, you can hire someone to follow you around saying "your the man" every two steps -joking-

Or you can tell yourself your the man by thinking highly of yourself. Its easy, just remind yourself everything you like about yourself, that you know a girl would like, dont advertise it, just remind yourself.



I would say good luck, but luck has nothing to do with it.

Dont Give Up and relax, dont hype it up. Its just another human, who happens to be female, she should be happy you wanna talk to her.

Answer 10

Hey dude I'm 22 and used to have the exact same problem. I wasn't really all that shy but when I would try really hard to get a girlfriend it never happened. Then when I stopped careing all the sudden I found myself in a relationship for three years. Its all about giving them the impression that you don't care, girls love this to them its looks like your just really confident! Try not careing so much, who knows maybe you are really good looking and the girls are intimidated by you. good luck man.