Have you had a parent die? How'd you deal with their death?

Question

I don't feel right choosing a "best" answer, so I'll let this one go into voting. Thanks for the stories.

Answer 1

Yes my father died. Dealing with it has been a journey. It seemed that I was in a fog for the first six months. Dad was 81 and I still felt he had years left, but I was wrong. I kept up hope when he was ill, I guess I was naive. Since my mother needed my attention I knew I had to be strong.

That said I spent the next six months trying to accept that he was gone. I actually gave myself a year to grieve. That is what helped. Teling myself to just take my time. I didn't cry until a year later, then I found I would cry a lot. I guess sometimes feelings just get stuck inside of us.

That was five years ago. I am less sad now. I think I have adjusted to the loss. I miss him a lot, but I carry him in my heart forever.

I also still have my mom for now, so I appreciate her every moment.

You'll be ok, I know I was surprised I handled it.

Answer 2

6 years later Im still dealing with it. we left the hospital the last day thinking we would be taking him home in the morning. 230 am we got a call saying things were not good. unfortunately it was over an hours drive when we got there the first thing they said he was on life support but for all aintents a purpose he was gone, nice huh, they than asked if we would be interested in donating his organs, even nicer huh, my mom made the decision to do it so they left him on the life support so the rest of the family could say good bye, so even though he died on the 19th of April they made the time of death on the 20th my Moms birthday, weird huh, so they did what they do and released him later well guess what we got the bill from the hospital bill before the services even though they told us that my dad was released on the 22nd we received a bill showing that they kept him breathing on life support til the 25th so not only did they misdiagnose his condition they kept my Dads poor body on life support and tried to bill us and lied about dates. Oh yeah they couldnt apologize enough, but Ive felt like I somehow did not protect him I still have nightmares about what they did to him he was cremated so he wasnt in a coffin. They later offered to pay or reduce bills my sister works in the medical so after they were so helpful all of the sudden she had specialists look at his charts xrays etc. They said that we had grounds for an investigation my Mom refused saying to just move on she already was carrying so much guilt on decisions she made. Ive since heard of many other bad experiences such as ours Im not saying the organ donor program is bad but be diligent ask questions ask for second opinions and do whatever you need to do to make closure right for you

Answer 3

I lost my Dad 10 years ago and I lost my Mom a year and a half ago.....I also lost a brother and one sister.....I stuffed all that grief away when my sister took her life 17 years ago and with my Dad & brother. Then when my Mom passed in Jan 06 I couldn't stuff it anymore and had a nervous break down. So, my advise to you is get some greivence counseling or join a greivence group and talk about your feelings. As for your loss, remember the goodness that your parent instilled in your life.

Answer 4

Losing a parent is one of the hardest thing a person has to go through in life. Dealing with death is not easy. To think they are in a better place or out of pain does help, but you are still missing them. They don't want you to be sad, they want you to go on and live. Cry and mope for a while, then think of the good times and try to smile. Your parents did their job by raising you, now it is your time to show them that they did a good job.

Answer 5

Both of my parents have passed on. I like to feel that they are somewhere special still looking out for me. For a while I felt a terrible gap in my life, but as time has gone by I know that as far as I knew, I always respected them and tried to do everything I possibly could to make their lives more comfortable.

Answer 6

Yes my mother died when I was very young 9. She died in a boating accident. It is funny but kids can handle death a lot better than adults. It was hard but life goes on. I just wish I had , had more time with her, but I guess if she had died at 80 I would be thinking the same thing.

Answer 7

I have lost both my parents. It's a very hard loss and since that time I feel like I am not grounded. I cry when I need to cry, I talk about them, I remember good times I had with them. I talk to them also.. I know they are with me. The first year is the roughest, but after that it gets easier.. You never ever forget them, but you don't mourn them as hard...

Answer 8

I watched my dad die last year. He was 81 and very ill. When he died, his eyes got very clear, he smiled, and said " Mom, It's a miracle". Then he was gone.
Knowing that he was no longer suffering and that he was with his mom, gave me a lot of peace.
Losing a parent is very difficult but time does and will help to heal our losses. Good luck.

Answer 9

My dad died 7 yrs ago on april 5th 2000 and i am still not over his death. He never got to see my two boys and he wont get to see me renew my vows with my husband. I miss him so much and wish he was here one more day to help me cope with some stressful situations. but u have to take it one day at a time and know that even though they have died they are still alive in your heart and soul. may god bless u and i know where u are coming from..,.

Answer 10

I think if my dad died I would just fiend it awkward and I would probably have to look like I cared which I wouldn't and If my mom died I would be sad as a badger with no friends.