My boyfriend does not support my decision to go into the Navy! What shoud I do??

Question

So I decided to go into the Navy, and Im plannin on goin ROTC to become an Officer. Therefore, Ill be going to school for 4years n then Ill be on active duty. My boyfriend of almost 3years, cant undserstand that this is a dream of mine and he basically doesnt support my decision. I love my boyfriend so much,.. i just wish he was more for what i want 2do. What should i do 2 make him support me? Advicee pleasee!

Im in the DEP program, to be a HM, the cahnces of my going to Iraq is pretty great! My brothers over there and soo was my father. he says he doesnt want me 2 b in danger like that.. idk this sucks

Answer 1

I'm not sure you can make him support your decision. This sounds like an issue that is going to test your relationship. You may need to make a difficult decision about your ralationship in order to fulfill your dream of joining the Navy. My advice is to be true to yourself.

Answer 2

Start by evaluating the problems he has with this and answer the questions in a logical fashion.
1. you are in the DEP program and will not serve active duty, as i see it, until at least 2010. hopefully we will have completed the war in Iraq by then. There for you may not even come over here.
2. you will be a Officer in the Navy, and no offense, you are a female. It is less likely you will be doing a foot patrol in Iraq as a Navy officer. that does not negate the high treat over here but lessens you chance of death.
3. You have a dream of serving your Country and he may feel treated by your having a manly job and he be the "Dependent" of a military Spouse.
4. The opportunity you have to better your self and insure a stable career should make him happy. The Medical and other benefits should also be a big positive.
With All that he should support you in what ever you do if it is a positive thing for you life. and keep this in mind more people died last year from homicide in the U.S. then all Four years of the Iraq war so are you safer there on the streets of the U.S. or in a war zone where you are trained to react to such things and expect danger.

Answer 3

Nothing you can not force someone to support you, I am so sorry to hear that he is so very closed minded. Look if this is what you want YOU need to go for it and if he will not support you then in the long run he will hold you back. I am a Ret Navy man but i am not saying to because of that, I am saying that you have a real chance to better you life and definitely get a real jump in life that will make you a better person. As far as your BF he will either be on the bus or he needs to get off and look at himself, Look if it was the other way around would you support him? I have a feeling that you would.
Good Luck

Answer 4

1. You can never MAKE him support you.
2. You are in almost as much danger walking down the street in any major city in the US.

As a female HM your chances of going to Iraq are probably pretty small. After you get a commission you will be a nurse, probably and the chances even smaller. If this is what you want to do, do it. As others have said, there are many other men in the world who will respect your decision. If you don't do what you want now, you will find it very difficult to make a decision in the future that is opposed by those who purport to love you. It is your life, live it as you wish. And Thank you for your future service to our country.

Answer 5

Gee It took me some time to find out the words to say to you. When I was 23 yrs.old that was my dream to join the military (Air Force) at the time. I was involved in a 3 year relationship also and my boyfriend at the time "literally" cried tears to me because he did not want me to leave. I was young and naive and so I didn't do it. For the past 4 years it has been in the back of my mind like an itch that wont' go away. I always felt it in my heart to do this ever since I was in high school. I just recently as of June proudly enlisted in the US Army and I ship out Sept. 6. I couldn't be any happier than I am now. This is my lifelong dream that is finally coming true and I WISH I would have let that man go 4 yrs ago and done it then. So I say to you follow your dreams because if you don't whats life worth living for right? God put us in this world to follow our dreams thats why he puts it in our hearts so do it girl! This is your life and even though yall might break up if you leave or whatever....TRUST me the people you meet and the experience will be so GRAND that you won't even remember him he will be just a thing of the past to you....Please do what your heart desires. Im speaking from experience. Good luck and may all your dreams come true.=)

Answer 6

With the divorce rate running at now around 60% there is a more than fifty fifty chance you and he will end up getting a divorce if and when you get married. Yeah I know wet blanket but necessary to remind you of.
Why because you need to have a profession and career that is not dependent on some one else.
So that refreshing your memory, he doesn't support you and says he is going to break up with you if you do it. That is a pretty good indicater that you and he will end up getting a divorce anway if you marry him instead of going on to college and you will be stuck with no education as well as kids to support and raise by yourself.
He does not sound like the type that will pay child support and raise the children.
In fact sounds more like the kind that will be laying up drinking beer while you are out trying to make enough money for the family.
Went through this with one of my daughters.
Get my drift. DUMP HIM!

Answer 7

I don't know him. My surmise is that you can't change his mind. If he loves you, he'll support your decision. If not... sounds as if it's his loss.

There was this woman officer (Navy) I knew that used to tell me, "I realize I'm in what has been traditionally a man's world, and that I have to do twice the job a man has to do to get the same recognition." And she'd get this cute smirk on her face and add, "And I do it." And she did. She was recommended for deep selection (you'll find out what that is) every time. She swam in a meet in San Diego and took a first, two seconds an a third--and she was the only woman swimming. It takes a good man to share the life of a woman like that.

Just a thought. You have to go home and live with yourself every night. Others come and go in and out of your life as suits their fancy. But you don't have that luxury. You have to do what you feel to be right. Nobody can--or should expect to--dictate what that is.

Good luck...

Answer 8

I think u should do what u want u are grown and if he cant support your decision on your career then u need to give him his marching orders. I was a Corpsman for 10 yrs spent about 6 yrs with the Marines. And from what it seems u want to be a nurse so u have goals and he should be happy for u of course its hard to see a loved one go to Iraq, but u have family over there already and I think thats honorable that u want to go. Maybe he dont have the grenades to join and he is mad that u want to. But I bet when u come home in them sexy uniforms he will be changing his mind. Good Luck with your choice. Semper Fi

Answer 9

You need to put yourself first. What is more important to you? The career in the Navy or the boyfriend? My husband is in the Navy and things just wouldn't work if I didn't support his decision to join. If he can't support this now, how will he be able to support you while you are separated (boot camp, schooling, deployments). You can't make him support you though, sit him down tell him why this is so important to you, your reasoning for doing this and anything else you need to discuss with him. If he can't grasp the concept and support your decision, then my advice would be to let him go. There are plenty of other men out there who would be proud and supportive of your choice and be there for you every step of the way. Good luck in your decision!!

Answer 10

Well hes not your husband.... And if you never do what you wanna do. You will always have anger towards him cause he never supported you to accomplish your dream. Basically hes telling you what to do, already. Either that or he REALLY loves you and doesnt want you to be away from him that long of a time. Your just gonna have to be the strong one and stand up to him and tell him you wanna do this. Im not sure how old you are but if you are close to 20, you need to consider doing it, before you get any older.