My 15yr son is a CIT at a camp this summer and hates it, yet is good with the kids. His best friend, Joe, who works with him on the other hand is the complete opposite. My son came home yesterday with a look that said something was on his mind so I asked. He told me that Joe was on pool duty, not doing what he was suppose to be doing and a kid got hurt. The owner of the camp said that who ever was suppose to be watching the kid wasn't going to asked back next year so my son told the owner that HE was on pool duty b/c Joe wants to come back next year and my son doesn't. I can see why he did this but I don't want him being blamed for something he didn't do or losing this camp and a reference for the future. What would you tell your son in this situation?
2007-08-03 10:36:53 · 6 answers · asked by Carrie R 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would explain to your son how you know why he did this but telling someone this lie so a friend gets a job next year is wrong, even if you hate the job to begin with. He's going to need the reference from this place to do something different next summer. Not paying attention is not a quality employers are looking for and I'm guessing since he's a CIT, this is one of his first jobs. It would look wonderful to have a reference like this, especially if he was good at it.
I would advise him to talk this over with the camp owner privately. Explain what he did and why he did so. It's not fair that Joe be rehired again next year if he's the one who isn't doing what he's suppose to be doing.
This is something your son needs to do without your help. It's not like he was the one who wasn't paying attention and causing serious trouble. As simple as the task was to take the blame, it sounds like he has no idea how NOT simple the crime that he took the blame was. Lying about doing it is just as unprofessional and immature as lying about doing it.
I was reading your profile and I've answered some of your questions in the past and you have an older daughter, right? I'd suggest having her say something to your son as well. Let him know how important it is NOT to take the blame about this situation or any situation for that matter unless you've done the crime.
Best wishes =]
2007-08-03 10:48:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It was an admirable thing to do for his friend, and you should tell him this. However, you also need to point out that this could affect his references, and have a knock-on effect.
If your son's friend Joe is a real friend, he will own up and not let your son take the blame. Hopefully, he will do the right thing on his own here. If not, then it really is between your son and his friend, and I would advise you not to involve yourself further, however frustrating that may be.
All you can do here is advise your son. You can't make him do anything, or worse, talk to Joe or the camp. You must let him sort this out on his own, whatever the outcome. Trust me, this is really important. Your son will not be happy if you meddle without his permission. Just give your advice and say no more. Leave it in his hands.
2007-08-03 18:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that I admire his sticking up for his friend but that he really needs to think about the consequences and that this may not have been the best decision to make. Yes he is not going to go back next year but Joe is - and what happens next year if Joe doesn't do what he is supposed to and someone gets hurt badly? What then? He needs to realize that people need to be held accountable for their actions and that by covering it up like he has could result in serious problems in the future. Also, he does need to understand that his personal reputation is at stake here and not having a good camp reference may come back to haunt him.
2007-08-03 17:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by gkk_72 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His loyalty does him and you credit - but he needs to set the record straight.
Tell him that he's not doing his friend any favours by covering for him - the friend needs to step up and take responsibility for his actions. Your son needs to realize that this incident will be a permanent mark on his record - it could affect job and even school prospects in the future. This could also not stop here - if the injured child's parents pursue the issue the situation could quickly get out of control, with your son left carrying the blame for someone else's neglect or having to admit he lied.
Also, how would he feel if Joe goes back to the camp next year because your son lied for him, but this time there's a serious injury or even a death due to Joe's neglect? Not a situation any teenager could handle.
Your son needs to talk to the director (with you present, if possible) and set things straight. His friend has to face up to what he did.
Best of luck
2007-08-03 17:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
to fess up and tell the real truth. his friend needs to take the punishment for his own actions. when he gets out in the real world and starts working...he will no be able to take the fall for anyone else. it's not fair. your son should just be honest. employers respect honesty.
2007-08-03 20:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too late to fix things. If his "best friend" let him do this, then he needs some new friends. If Joe is that irresponsible, then your son will have to live with the guilt when Joe allows something worse to happen next year.
2007-08-03 17:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋