why is family so difficult?

Question

I am suppose to get married on October 27th but i have the most difficult family ever.
1) my mother is 100% negative about it.
2) NO ONE will help with anything I am planning and planning and asking for just a little bit of help but I guess it is to much to ask to get off their behind and make a phone call.
3) I don't know what to do about my bridesmaids.
ughhh I just feel so over stressed and i feel like i have way to much weight and stress on my shoulders to really support it anymore. I might just crack.
How do I ask for help with out being ignored?

Answer 1

How do you need help? What do you need exactly? Are they avoiding you because you are asking for too much?

I planned my own wedding. Groom wanted to pick out the tuxes, so he did. Mom went with me twice . . . once when I signed the catering contract and once when I selected my wedding gown. The rest was up to me.

You can make your own phone calls. You don't need help with that.

Regarding the bridesmaids, just pick a color. Remember that dresses do not have to be identical. Just ask all bridesmaids to get a dress in your chosen color. There . . . you have just eliminated all your worries about dress shopping and alterations. It has now become the bridesmaids' responsibility. Each girl can pick something that flatters her and that fits her budget.

As for shopping for your gown . . . yes, you may want to take a friend or relative along. But if no one is available, then do it by yourself. I found the ladies at the bridal shop most willing to help . . . and honest about what looked good and what did not.

You can address the invitations yourself. It goes more quickly than you realize.

Where else do you need help? I mean ask us questions here at Yahoo Answers. Menu choices? Flowers? What do you need?

You can do it . . . and good luck to you.

Answer 2

Hi. I understand how you feel. We flew to Las Vegas because I did not want the stress of handling a big wedding. I never ever regretted it and because we had a simple low key wedding our wedding was paid off in a month. 5 years later, our marriage is still going strong and we are blissfully happy because we don't let anybody come between our relationship and we don't worry about money. Do not invite anybody that's going to be detrimental to your wedding. Even if it includes your own mother. I will tell you why Las Vegas is the wedding capital of the world:

1) You don't have to wait to take a blood test.
2) You can get your marriage license the same day you get married if you wish. Marriage bureau is open 24 hours.
3) There is a whole street (aka strip) full of wedding chapels you can choose from and most of the wedding planning is done from the wedding chapels of your choice. They have different packages. Or you can get married frugally (civil wedding) for $50 (price may change) at the marriage bureau open 24 hours: http://www.co.clark.nv.us/clerk/marriage_information.htm
4) Best of all everything is legitimate! I've seen couples getting married in drive thru wedding chapels too! I've seen elvis weddings, gothic weddings, and different themed weddings online.
5) 98 out of 100% you will have a great time!
6) Some chapels can have your wedding broadcast in the internet. So friends and family who couldn't make it to your wedding can view it online. Such as Viva Las Vegas Weddings: http://www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/

If I was in your position, I would just invite people that support me and that I get along with to my wedding and go to Vegas. If you get along with your bridesmaids, take them along with you too.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel honey. My family and friends did me the same way. No help from anyone except the wedding coordinator and she put her nose in where she shouldn't have. The day before I married, one of my brides maids broke her foot and couldn't be in the wedding. I tell you, if I had to do it all over again, I would have picked two witnesses, a photographer, picked out my dress, planned a day and told everyone this is the day and if they came fine and if they didn't fine but I would have gotten married regardless. I wish you lots of luck and hang in there, it will work out, just don' t let the stress come between you and your partner.

Answer 4

Your family sounds a lot like mine. I've leaned on my bridesmaids quite a bit. If you state your case to your family and they don't begin to step it up, you'll have to just relax and let it go. They aren't under any obligation to help you, it's just traditional that they do.

State your case in a non-accusatory way and just let them know that you could really use a little help. When you do that, come prepared with specific responsibilities to give them. Sometimes, people think you have it all under control, so they stay out of it. Ask your mom to handle invitations. Then ask your dad to plan the transportation from the church to the recepion, etc.

Good luck! And congratulations! This is your time to enjoy...

Answer 5

You need to calm down, it's just a wedding, not rocket science. It's your wedding, that makes it your job to plan it. My husband and I planned our entire wedding without any help from anybody. I would love to know when the trend started that whole bridal party and the parents are supposed to have all these tasks that are their responsibility.

Answer 6

simplify the wedding.
do only what you can do yourself.
stop expecting the help.
maybe you don't need matching dresses and shoes for the bridesmaids, maybe you don't need bridesmaids, maybe you can simplify the wedding so you aren't so stressed. it's not worth it. get your fiance to help with those things about the wedding. don't pressure your family.

Answer 7

No one owes you this help. It is your wedding, your responsibility. You and your fiance will have to do the brunt of the planning yourselves if your friends and family are not available. I bet if you get more relaxed about all of this, your family Will come forward.

Answer 8

This is why I eloped. Noting I did I right and if I needed elp I had to bed and plead, and STILL ended up doing it myself.

ELOPE

Answer 9

if i were you i would just fly to vegas and have one of those elvis weddings or something, lol.....it would reall relieve a lot of stress

Answer 10

1. calm down
2. hire a planner
3. be happy