The girl I am with is great. She's smart, educated, sweet- all of that. However, she younger and the relationship is not as exciting anymore. Also, she wants to get married, have kids, etc. (Rightfully so, we've been togther for years). Thats the last thing I am thinking about.A lady friend of mine "was" in the same situation and overtime, we have developed this great chemistry and are extremely compatible. Ive totally fallen for this new girl. Im not trying to be a scumbag at all but I really like this other girl and want to find a way to make the right decisions. Do I tell my current girl that I am just not into mariage and kids and not to waste her time anymore?
Do I connect with this new one further? What do I do? Anyone who has had a similar situation or good feedback PLEASE RESPOND:)
Thank you
2007-08-03 09:46:34 · 23 answers · asked by joey0332 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are two issues here. First is your current girlfriend. If you know that the two of you don't have the same life goals, you need to end the relationship. The longer she's with you, the longer it'll be before she meets someone who wants the same things she wants.
As for this other woman... If you want to date her AFTER you end your current relationship and see how that goes, great.
2007-08-03 09:51:29 · answer #1 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now those kinds of predicaments are what give love a bad name. There are three options, however, no matter what anyone else thinks.
1. You could request a break from your current girlfriend and try to hault in feelings you believe are developing between you and this other lady. Then reflect upon what you have always wanted, not what you want at the moment. Spur of the moment love interests will come and go but personal long-time interests are what will lead you in the right direction.
2. You could break it off with your girlfriend and tell her exactly how you feel, no matter how much it hurts. If you are going to end it then you should give her every detail for not only respect but so she does not find them out elsewhere. Meaning, if you are telling all of Yahoo! then obviously you have told others and someone is bound to spill the beans. After that, you can go after this new girl and see how it works..but I strongly do not recommend this because after long term relationships..you usually need a brief break.
or 3. You stay with your girlfriend. Obviously you think very good of her otherwise you wouldn't be so worried nor complimenting her still. Give her time to grow, tell her in order for your love to progress you need some space, some action, some excitement...tell her you need to experience life before you bring others into yours.
Whatever you decide I wish you luck and if you need any more advice..feel free to email me.
Goodluck!!!
2007-08-03 16:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by Oops, did I say that? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think u should tell ur gf that ur not ready for marriage and kids right now. and try to make thing like how the use to be, when u first went out. and if that doesnt work, then tell her that things arent working out, thats things arent how they used to be, and hopefully she'll get a clue, if not, tell her goodbye.
And the other girl, i dont see anything wrong with talking with her or anything, but just be friends, plus what if she doesnt like u like that? u might want to make sure how she feels about u before u do anything stupid.
And if things get really bad, i personality would think of the pros and cons in both the ladies, be alone and think what u really want in a girl, and in life.
2007-08-03 16:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OIk dude, you ought to tell your girlfriend that marriage and kids are not at all what you want. Tell her in a nice way and let her down slow because after 6 years it is totally going to break her heart, but you can not help that you have fallen for someone else, right? I would wait at least 3 months after you break up with her to take out this new girl. If it works out for you all is well for you. I will guarantee that you will feel a lot of guilt for a while for breaking up with a girl you have dated for 6 years. That would be what those 3 months in between are for (and not being an *** and jumping from girl to girl...thats how your old girl would see it) Good Luck man, it will be hard.
2007-08-03 16:52:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty typical. And no, I'm not gonna go out and say, "Guys are just afraid of commitment." though I REALLY want to, it's just that that doesn't really seem to be the case.
You've moved along clearly, she needs to understand that. First, you have to make it clear to her that you have no plans to marry her, or start a family. That should make it easier for you to break the news to her that you're interested in someone new now, though there really is no easy way out.
Second: make sure that the new girl likes you & wants to start a relationship with you, even if she doesn't, NEVER EVER use a girl as a fallback.
I hope everything works out :)
2007-08-03 16:53:12 · answer #5 · answered by Hailey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur going to have to tell ur gf sooner or later and the sooner the better for both of u because if u lik this other grl as much as u say u do it is possible that even thou u dont want it to the relationship could spoil and so if u want to at the very least save ur friendship u shud break it off and quickly but also as gently as possible. Ur gf also seems just a tad bit clingy and mayb its because she doesnt hav as much real world experience so the breakup bit do both of u some good and who knos mayb u might get back together later on and that relationship could b all the better.
2007-08-03 17:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by roniloveu15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no one can help that their heart sometimes changes.
But for one yes i believe you should talk to your current g/f about this and let her know your feelings.
But first you honestly need to re-evaluate the whole thing who are you more comfortable around.
And even if you dont want to get married now you still need to keep in mind which of the two you can see yourself having a future with.
And with that try this close your eyes in front of this person and then open them. And picture whether or not you wouldnt mind waking up to that face every morning!
So my best thing to say is follow your heart but make sure youve made the decision thats best for you...
And you not a jerk ect. your human.
2007-08-03 16:59:22 · answer #7 · answered by roCk thE sOx oFF mE ~raWr~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've answered your own question.
Tell your girlfriend that although you have enjoyed being with her, the two of you are not headed in the same direction. You don't want the same things out of life, and you don't need to lead her on anymore. You want her to be happy and have the husband and kids, but you're not the one she's looking for.
That said, DON'T get out of a relationship just to get into another one. If you don't want kids, you need to get out of that relationship ANYWAYS.
2007-08-03 16:53:15 · answer #8 · answered by Cunning Linguist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the girl that you are with that it can't work out because you don't want marriage and kids and she does and that she needs to find a guy who does. Then wait about three months to go after the other girl.
2007-08-03 16:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joey why waste this girls time. Be honest with her and let her know that you have found someone else that you are more attracted to. Initially I'm certain that she will be heart broken and hurt but will respect you over time for being honest with her and not leading her on or living a lie.
2007-08-03 16:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋