Before You Had Kids, Did You Think You Had It All Figured Out...?

Question

...and now you realize how much you really had to learn? Was becoming a parent harder or easier than you expected?

Answer 1

I honestly believed I had everything figured out when it came to kids. I was 24 and married, had a degree in child development and childhood education, tons of babysitting and teaching experiences under my belt and couldn't possibly think of anything else I would need to know to parent a child. I was all set, had the baby's room painted and full of furniture, every baby gadget I thought the baby "might" use and all I needed was for him to pop out so I could start to be the world's best Mom!
My son Nicholas was born on March 6, 1998, two weeks early, and by March 8, 1998, I knew that I was no where near prepared as I thought I was. NO the baby didn't get up every X hours like I learned in school, he didn't use X amount of diapers or fall alseep after drinking X amount of formula! By God he came 2 WEEKS EARLY and threw me all off! I remember calling my mom, stressed out and crying "NICHOLAS ISN'T FOLLOWING WHAT I LEARNED IN SCHOOL!" She laughed and said "You mean he didn't read up before he came out? I told him he had until the mid March!"
You can't parent from a book and you can always go by what you read. As weeks when on, it seemed like everything I had learned in school was wrong when it came to my son. I learned to work around him, what little dances and songs I had to sing and do to get him to sleep, how much clothing to put on him, how to change his diaper, when to do household chores, when I should sleep, when I should eat, when to do this and when to do that and what worked best for ME and my son. Parenting wasn't a piece of cake like I thought it would be, but I got better at it and learned through trial and error and little tips here and there from my mom and others. I couldn't believe how much stuff I bought that the baby nevered used! It's the best way to learn- through experience. When my 2nd one came along two years later, I was prepared!
As they got older and I added more children to my family, you learn to manage, to take one day at a time and enjoy what is life throws at you. Maybe things don't go as you planned, but the most imporant thing I learned when I became a parent is to just go with it. If he doesn't make it to soccer practice on time, if he doesn't get an A on his test, if he doesn't learn to share by a certain age or write his name at a certain age, I work with them and fix the problem.
I'm now a mother of 3 boys, ages 9, 7 and 3 and am pregnant with a little girl. I'm preparing for whatever surprises she brings to the family lol.
Best wishes =]

Answer 2

Like the book says.."I was the perfect mother..until I had children". Being a parent is much harder than I ever thought it would be. Being hard does not mean I don't love it though. When I was a teenager I knew everything, then when I was in my twenties I kind of knew everything. Now in my late thirties, I know I don't know anything and to just take life as it comes.
Having children is hard work and you should be in a committed relationship, have an education, have some money in a savings account, and know what delayed gratification means.

Answer 3

Considering I wanted a child for 14 years before having one...I certainly realized that you can NEVER have it all figured out. If you think you've got it figured out...then you are taking it for granted. Life is a learning experience FOREVER! And there is no harder or easier for me...its just my existence; one I waited for, for so long, that I cherish every single moment. I'm having a blast and my only regret is that I couldn't of planned it better so I could stay home with her. Being a single mommy was never my plan, I've got two X husbands to prove that fact...but it was meant to be; considering that I conceived a child one month from the day my divorce was finalized, by a casual friend, after being told I'd never have my own children. If any one knows that you can't have it figured out, I DO! And after reading the other responses, I'm thankful for my 14 years of infertility, its made me much more appreciative, which my daughter deserves!

Answer 4

Before I had children, I was the neighborhood and family babysitter. Everyone called me because they knew that I loved kids, loved to babysit, and they trusted me to properly care for them. I loved it. I know how to make it work, never had a problem with a single child that I ever sat for. Plus, when I was 10 1/2, my mom had my younger brother. I was very much his second mother. So, I knew when I was pregnant with my 1st child that I had it mostly figured out and i would be a wonderful mother.

Fast forward to my 1st child being nearly 7, and my youngest being 5.... I was DEAD WRONG!! LOL It is SO much harder than I ever could have imagined. I tell newbie parents that having a new baby is difficult, but what makes it 10times worse is the fact that you have to do all on nearly no sleep.

Am I crazy for wanting more? :)

Answer 5

Hi, Before i had my children, I thought that I had it all sorted and read all the books I could get hold of. But in Reality, when I had my children, I found that the books had only a small amount of use-full stuff in that helped. It was a harsh learning curve with the first, the second was a bit easier but i found that there was still a lot to learn. I've now had six (6) and found that with each one, new things were coming up, apart from each one having their own personalty they all had their own problems and quirks to cope with. Its been very hard at times, but I wouldn't change a thing, as watching them grow has made me appreciate life a lot more. Teresa

Answer 6

No I never thought so.It was a little harder than I expected but also more rewarding than I expected.Being a parent never stops even when your children are grown up,then there are grandchildren.Every child is different some are more demanding than others.They don,t arrive with owners manuals Lol.Luckily for me I already had parenting skills when my kids arrived.People get their first lessons in parenting from their parents and siblings mine were good ones,and from looking after other people,s children.

Answer 7

Becoming a parent was much harder than I expected. I don't think anyone should have a child unless the are financially stable and in a quality and committed relationship.

Answer 8

Becoming a parent was way way harder than i thought it was going to be. I thought i knew kids and how they acted and i thought i had a handle on the stress. Definitely not!! What a lesson I learned.

Answer 9

It is soooooo much harder now that I am a parent than i imagined. This is a little person with their own personality. However has I began to understand that personality it has gotten easier.

Answer 10

It is very hard. You think you know things an then it's like you panic cause you don't know everything. You learn so much about yourself because in order to become a good parent, you literally need to give everything up for your child's safety.