I'm only attracted to older guys...WHY?

Question

It's weird...I'm a older teenager but I only find older men attractive. I'm talking about 30's and early 40's older. It bothers me because I want to have a boyfriend my age but I just can't make myself accept anyone who isn't a lot older than me.

I've never really had a good father figure and my own brother rarely talks to me. I don't know if that has anything to do with it...

I never thought "older guys" were a problem until I developed a relationship with an older guy I knew. We had a lot of "chemistry" and I really liked him. I almost acted on it but he's married and I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd done that. I still feel for him though and it really bothers me...and every time I see him I want him(he feels the same) but I never do anything about it.

He had previously been a kind of "father figure" for me but that all changed when I realized I was in love with him.

I just feel soo confused...

Some of said I need to see a counselor...

He WAS my counselor.
How's that for twisted?

Answer 1

Yeah...i totally know what u mean they r just so sexy {in a mature kind of way}...if your like 18 than its no problem....Im 21 and my man is 35...and sometime ppl think im too little but its not like i can help being ATTRACTED to him...right....

Answer 2

This is very common...so understand that. I'm 38 and I have this happen alot. I don't act like the "boys" you are used to being around, nor will I "talk" about you in a bad way. You are also a little more mature than some of the "girls" around you as well. Some here will make snide comments, but for the most part it's your life and you need to remember that. And yes it's true that a few people just hate seeing someone else be happy. You are growing up and already learning what you like and dislike. Now, this may also change in time as well. Don't be afraid to act on your actions, even though you are young you still have that women's intuition...use it, when the time is right. Good Luck and make sure that they do respect you, you are still a lady and a person, make sure it's not just about sex.

Answer 3

Okay my answer is the answer that will help you the most okay!! Well the absence of the father in your house has contributed to alot of the reasons why older men make ya go crazy!! Since there was no father in the house you are going out (without realizing this), and trying to replace someone with that father figure that you never got a chance to experience. But, at this very moment in your life, you need some male (family wise) that will be able to be that for you, and even though you dont talk or really even see your brother much he may also be going through some issues too because both of you guys are in dessprate need of a father figure, and ya dont even know it!! Your looking for that love, attention, acceptance, and your replacing all those emotion's with "LOVE", even though/if it's not the right love you'll do anything to find it, in all the wrong places. I know that once you find, take hold of that father figure, you'll be able to date guys your own age!! Well hope this helped!! Because I grew up without a father too, even though i did see him almost every other summer, or even christmas he still wasnt apart of my household

Answer 4

First, be at least 18 and second stay away from Married men. But the reason you are attracted to them is they are safer, more controlled, more knowledgeable. The real test is the maturity levels of the individuals, not the age difference. Are you both at the same level of maturity? If not, there will be problems. If so, you can keep growing together. Significant age differences can be abnormal but do not have to be. They happen for all sorts of reasons. They can be very beneficial or harmful… depending on the individuals. If the youngest is a very mature person, it can work. And the older person can mentor and teach the younger a lot of things… and not just about sex. Although learning how to make love is an acquired skill. Learning how to be a good partner is also an acquired skill set. The older can teach one how to be a good partner: they have more experience. And the younger can often teach the older person things, including how to have a zest for life that one starts to loose as an older person and gets a little jaded by life and it’s travails.

Answer 5

C'mon. If there was a clear answer to this highly subjective, and deeply personal question, you would know it yourself and not be asking anyone on Yahoo! Answers.

However, this "father figure" thing might be a key to your desires. It is pretty Freudian, and cut and dried, seeing's how your father was absentee and your brother has been equally disinterested. Perhaps you are looking for an unconditional, emotional connection with an older man to recreate these vital relationships. Perhaps not. Perhaps you simply just like the fact that an older man will more likely than not (1) own his own car (2) have a job (3) won't pressure you about the silly things "boys" pressure girls about (4) treats you like a person rather than a sexual object (again, subjective, depending on the man).

If you're not "above the age of consent", it might get a little sticky for your older gentleman friend, esp. since he's married--I'm glad you had presence of mind to refrain from anything more "committed" with him. His motives may not be as "pure" as your own, as you believe them to be, esp. since he's married (did I say that already?). I would seriously seek some counseling just to make sure there are no hidden issues you could be avoiding or overlooking. And to weigh this older man's interest in you as legitimate or not so innocent. Girls have gotten in a lot of trouble confusing the seeming affections of older men with the "real thing". Make sure your budding sexual drives are born of a legitimate desire, rather than an obsession with a crucial formative relationship (daddy-daughter) denied to you.

Answer 6

Hi Dear,
I think you're very confused I don't know it could be that you need a father figure or an older brother who knows.What I know is one thing get a way from this guy,he's married ,he has his own family.
I think you should try to concentrate on other things in tour life.
Don't look for a boy friend he will look for you ,in other words you will find your man on time,just make sure he's the one,I mean he should be yours not some one else's.
Try to forget this guy and get another counselor if you feel you can't handle your situation ,I believe you can handle it .

Answer 7

It sounds like you are possibly reaching out to someone who is like a father figure to you. But for a guy who is married and that much older, well I just don't think he had very good intentions with you. And I am happy to hear that you turned away from this guy because of his status.. I think you sound pretty mature for your age, maybe you can go somewhere where you are able to meet college-aged guys, or meet someone at a church function. I don't think it is the age that you are looking at, but possibly the maturity level..? Speak to a counselor about issues that you have involving your father and brother. I think if you can try to resolve some of those issues maybe you will be able to look for guys closer to your age.

Answer 8

I'm not condoning extra marital affairs... but.... seriously.. let's talk about this. I'm a "younger" girl who likes older guys that are often married. If you are sensible and can figure out they will never leave their wives.. then let them give you that attention you deserve. If the aren't cheating with you, they'll be doing it with someone else.. so why not? Secondly, any guy under 30 is an idiot (sorry guys) They are selfish, self concerned and horrible lovers. Blah! So, get yourself an older guy, married if he may be, whatever you please. Just remember, practice safe sex, and he's not going to leave his wife. :-) Other than that, have lots and lots of fun, enjoy being young... you only live once!

Answer 9

The world is made up of different people. If we were all the same or like all the same things life would be so boring. Go for it. The most exciting relationship I have ever had was with a lady 18 years my senior.

Answer 10

no longer authentic. that's authentic that adult males are clearly attracted to sexually maturing women, yet this attraction to little ones is weird and wonderful to a lot of 'usual adult males'. As for being 'clearly attracted', if doesn;t propose that maximum of run around humping the legs of ladies folk like canines. seem on the girls instructors that seduce scholars additionally; the ailment works the two techniques. the information is a humorous concern. We hear of one case and we expect of it peculiar, we hear of 1000 circumstances and declare a virulent disease. the US has 3 hundred,000 human beings now, virtually a hundred and fifty,000 are adult males. 0.00001% (or maybe if) are pediphiles, yet we don;t hear concerning the final public of god fearing, stable adult males. seem someplace else for them, they do no longer seem to be on the information.