I really need some help right now, and want to apply for assistance to get some more education and job skills, but they require I have an open case for child support with ORS. BUT, my son's father said if he has to pay child support then we will take my son because he will not pay for something he doesn't have in his possession. Frankly, he can go jump in a lake since he has had nothing to do with my son for three years. What can he do and should I really be worried? I have to move from my current situation and need some help. What would you do if custody of your child was threatened? His father's name is not on the birth certificate and I am happy with that.
2007-08-03 09:27:09 · 14 answers · asked by operaphantom2003 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Just go ahead with it, he has to pay support no matter what. He can't just take him from you, I would talk to someone, maybe contact a lawyer and get an oppinion thats what I would do, it couldn't hurt to get some legal help.
IF he tries to take you for custody you would be primary parent because he hasn't been there and his name is not even on the BC. You would get custody, legally. Don't worry he sounds like a low life who just doesn't want to pay you for your little one so he's threatening thinking you will listen.
2007-08-03 09:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't understand how you can even have an open case for child support if he is not on the birth certificate. You would have to prove paternity first or have him fill out a form that he claims to be the father. Are you concerned that you would lose your son because you need assistance? Because money is not the only factor when there are custody issues. You say he hasn't been there the past 3 years and I assume that means child support-wise as well. They take all that kind of stuff in consideration. They aren't just going to give your son to some guy just because he doesn't want to give you money.
2007-08-03 16:41:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off dont worry about custody men are stupid like this. Go get the assistance you need that will help better your life and provide for your child. Get an open case with your ORS. They will have to establish paterinty of your son which means DNA testing. When the test comes back saying its his child he will then be 3 yrs in the rear and he is required to pay child support. It is VERY hard for a parent that has not been active in a childs life to take a child. Even IF the other parent has been active in the childs life unless he can prove you are unfit (and thats very hard to prove) they'd just laugh him out of court.
2007-08-03 16:36:59 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you're a prostitute, a drug abuser and you've been beating up your kid, you don't have too much of a problem -- especially since he has had nothing to do with your son for three years.
Go for the assistance, tell jerk face to quit yanking your chain and ignore the bluster. More than likely, he'll drop off the face of the earth to avoid the child support and he'll be out of your hair for good, and you'll still get your assistance.
By the way, even if you don't have a name on the birth certificate, you DO have to name a father... or at least give them an idea of who the father might be. The first poster is wrong in saying you don't have to give a name.
2007-08-03 16:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by KatJones37 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you see assistance as your stepping stone to a better life then you should pursue it. Open a support case, even if your ex is uncooperative, it'll help you on your way. In my state and I'd assume others states, child support and visitation are separate issues. A non-custodial parent can demand visitation without support and a custodial parent can deny visitation while still collecting support. What that means is his reason of "not paying for a child not in his possession" is inaccurate.
Open the case, get your assitance, pursue your education. You are the type of person taxpayers want to use the assistance. Good luck!
2007-08-03 16:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, No one is entitled to custody simply because the pay child support. Custody only has to do with "best interest of the child" - period. The best he could hope for is shared custody and you can fight that if you feel that he is somehow unfit. His non-involvement thus far would support that claim.
Second, it is your responsibility to do whatever you have to in order to provide a good life for your son. If, for you, that includes furthering your education, then you do that. If that means you need to file for support, you do that. Your priority is your son and yourself. You give endless to raising your son and there is no reason that you should not be allowed to further yourself. So yes, I would apply for the assistance.
If I were in your situation, I would document everything - keep a notebook of all interactions with the father. Every time you asked him for help, his threats about getting custody, everything. Good luck!
2007-08-03 16:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by keejay21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the state you are in. If you need child support from him, he has to either agree he is the father. Or he needs to be on the birth certificate. Or he needs a test to prove he is the father.
He CAN NOT, take your child away from you. At the same time that you file for child support, I would file for sole custody, the fact that he hasn't been in his life being the sole reason. At best, he may get joint custody, but he cannot legally take your child away from you.
File for proof that he is the father, child support, and sole custody of your child. Especially if he doesn't want anything to do with him. If he wants to be in his life, the court can't keep him away, unless you can prove he is not fit to parent.
2007-08-03 16:34:14 · answer #7 · answered by Andrew J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't just TAKE the kid. The courts have to get involved and they will decide upon the custody and child support arrangements. You may want to mention to you rlawyer that the father only wanted the child after he found out that he was going to have to pay for him. It speaks towards his (lack of) character.
2007-08-03 16:35:34 · answer #8 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not an attorney so obviously my advice is not concrete, but I would say he would have to have some severe grounds against you to be able to gain custody of the child. The father should be helping to support your son anyway. To be safe I would check to see if you can get some legal advice on the matter.
Best of luck!
2007-08-03 16:34:17 · answer #9 · answered by Proud Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad so sad for him...he has to pay whether he has your son or not. There are many cases where the father has to pay support and never sees his children. If his name isn't on the birth certificate...there will have to be proff documents like DNA testing done before you can collect money also...so it kinda bites you back.
2007-08-03 17:31:51 · answer #10 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋