Having a "After the Wedding" reception?

Question

My husband and I got married a few months ago in a private ceremony (you could say we eloped) we just did not want any one to know till afterwards especially my son. Now I would like to celebrate our wedding by having a reception and setting up a gift registry. I had a friend said I could not do this after the fact, but I don’t see the problem allowing us to formally be introduced to friends and family and having a reception like any one normally would. We just choose this method because it worked better for us and did not want the family to make a fuss, since we have both been married 2 times before we wanted something, sweet, simple and outside in the woods and it was beautiful. Any help and or suggestions would be really appreciated.

thanks!

Just so everyone knows, I am 47 and this would be my third time around however it has been over 15 years since my last divorce. My two boys are 22 & 27 the one that would have got upset (because I told the 22 year old) is my 27 who thinks everything I do is stupid, but yet has two children out of wedlock. But I do have great kids both in college, even though we do not always agree on each others lifestyle. I just did not want the slack from my "older son" who seems to think if you dont think his way then................. your stupid !!

Answer 1

Your friend is right, It's in poor taste to set up a registry just for the sake of gifts and after the fact.

You are already married, it was your choice to elope, so bite the bullet.

Good luck

Answer 2

I think having a reception is a fine idea; I've known people who've done an "after the wedding" reception, for various reasons. There's no reason why you shouldn't celebrate publically with friends and family.
However, I think your friend is right about setting up a registry. At this point, I really think it would be bad etiquette. The original purpose behind gift registries was to provide a newly-married couple the things they needed for life together, and if you both have established households, you shouldn't really need that much anyway.
But, as I said, go ahead with the reception--it should be a lot of fun!!!

Answer 3

Yes, of course have a wedding reception! It's a time for people to celebrate with you. I don't think I would do a gift registry...because it is not a "first wedding" (nothing wrong with this). You will get gifts probably at the reception from your guests hopefully it will be stuff you actually need! LOL Best of Luck to you and your new husband!

Answer 4

I think it is perfectly acceptable to have a party to celebrate the marriage. Many couples do a private wedding and a reception a few weeks to a few months afterwards. Considering you have both been married twice before, I don't feel it appropriate for you to set up a gift registry. Some guests could interpret the whole event as a way to get presents and resent that. Some guests may want to give gifts so you could let family and friends know some things you may want or stores that you like to give gift cards. Many may just want to give money. By using close family and friends this way, you don't make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Answer 5

It's not wrong when people PLAN to have a private ceremony with a reception following at some reasonable date. HOWEVER, the way that you did this was inappropriate and seemed like you had to be sneaky and hide this info from people, particularly your son, who is the #1 person who should have known. It's like you didn't consider his feelings and now you just want to spring it on him and say, "surprise, here's your new daddy!". The way you handled this will probably make most people feel like the only reason you are now disclosing this is primarily to get gifts. It's like saying, you weren't good enough to even know about my intentions, but now, you are good enough to cough up with a gift. So, to avoid being rude, I think it would be best for you to hold a reception and say "no gifts please!"

Answer 6

No, not a wedding reception, but maybe just a party. Definitely NO gift registry - in fact, you should be emphasizing that you DO NOT want gifts period.
You made the choice on the style of marriage, so these are the consequences. C'mon now... third marriage for both???

Answer 7

Since you've both been married before and have been married for several months already, a gift registry is not appropriate in this case. If people ask, word of mouth could be "they need x, y, or z."

I also wouldn't call it a "reception", per se. I would call it a "celebration of marriage" party. Receptions traditionally follow the wedding right away.

Answer 8

if they weren't important enough to include them in a ceremony do not REGISTER - which basically means you are demanding specific gifts - i have no problems with registries, before the wedding and if you have a son you more than likely have a home already.. registries are for new couples starting out... having a reception afterwards just means you want the gifts and thats beyond rude and incredibly tacky.

Answer 9

You are already legally married.
To ask for gifts now - 5 months ater the fact - is a little over the top.
However, what you could do is at the one year mark have a vow renewal and then throw that party.
I think that by your the way you asked your question, everyone already knows you are now married, so no surprise there.
So why not just have a vow renewal and then let everyone know that you are goingt o celebrate this time around but please no gifts. You are just showing your love for everyone in your life.

Answer 10

By all means have a reception. I wouldn't set up a registry though. If people want to gift you they will, but since it isn't your first marriage (for either of you) I wouldn't expect it. Just an informal family/friends affair would probably be the way to go.