OMG - the whining..the crying...the disobeying?

Question

when will it stop? My 2.5 yr old son is in the peak of his terrible two's and all i hear is whining from when he wakes up to bedtime. It's so hard to keep my cool when that is all i hear. I need a time out on the naughty mat with my son sometimes. Anyone feel my pain? Any advice how to get through this tough stage? Thanks in advance.

Thank you everyone...i like the idea of rewarding him at the end of the day if he hasn't whined. or maybe even at naptime...i reward for the first half of the day.

okay "Nick"......that is one reason why i am asking this question to get some advice from other people. B/c my tactic at the moment (naughty mat and taking away privledges) just isn't working right now. you must have the perfect family. Good for you!

cough...whatever..cough cough.

Answer 1

Wow, I am in the same boat.. My son will be three in Oct and the whining is in FULL FORCE. Just part of this stage. All I can say is STAY STRONG. If he knows it bothers you and will make you "give in" the whining will continue. I tell my son that I can't understand him when he speaks that way and give him the proper words (and manner) to make the request. If that fails-----just walk away and tell him you can't communicate with him when he speaks that way. He may even get a kick out of the big word 'communicate'. Just use the same word each time you walk away so he catches on. I find the bigger the word the more fun it is when they start to use it. Besides, it will increase his vocabulary at the very least. It's hard, I know, but this too shall pass! Best of luck!
Oh, one more thing....don't worry about what other people think. Stick to your guns!

Answer 2

We all feel your pain.

He could be teething, and it hurts. You want to figure if he is acting out, or what is going on.

Close the door to his room, and put on some mellow music. If he whines and screams, ignore it. His voice will eventually hurt and he'll stop. A time out in a corner for a few minutes can work.

He probably likes seeing your reaction. He's in control. Try tickling. Pretend he's arguing for fun, and clown it up some.

He won't remember things from one hour to the next, so don't do long punishments. But if you say you will do something, you need to follow through. Just appropriately.

Help him learn what loud is, and quiet. Angry and sad, and happy. But you need to be in charge. Try to not react to bad behavior, outside of removing him and isolating him. Otherwise you are like a video game character that he is playing.

Sometimes, just take him to the park, so the noise is not bouncing off the walls.

Put him in a car seat, and drive around, making lot of turns at corners. His neck muscles will tire, and he'll fall asleep.

If truly energetic and evil, a rub a bit of soap on your finger, and rub a little on his gums or lips. It will taste really foul, but not hurt more than his feelings. Then tell him to be nice or you'll do it again. He should quiet down. I have two kids, and only did that once, with one. Message received. If he continues, give him a little more.

You need to be able to ask if he needs to be punished, and he has the chance to say no and stop the bad behavior. Just a few times being punished, and knowing he may be punished will do wonders. Then you can ask, and he'll stop right away.

Answer 3

Ohhhhh.... I hear you! Tons of luck in this stage!

Getting through it? Keep your friends and family close! Have people over to help you bear with it when ever possible. Hand him off to his Dad (if possible) every night and take some time for yourself outside of the house to clear your head.

Getting HIM through it faster? Ignore the whining... tell him you can't understand what he's saying when he whines to you. I whine right back, but my kids are older and able to grasp the sarcasm in it. And the disobeying? Don't set precedent by looking the other way (you didn't say what's up with that). Kids learn fast! And they learn what they can get away with and what they can't.

If he's having a great day with no whining etc - be sure to reward him with extra Mommy time or anything else you can think of!

Good luck! And enlist help!

Answer 4

Just to prepare you 3 is sometime worst than 2. I babysat a couple of boys that were a year apart so I had one in the terrible two's and the other in the trying three's. But usually after the turn 3.5 it calms down. And yes, I would also put myself in a time out. It would get to the point were I could feel my patients wear thin and instead of blowing up I would say everyone is in time out and I would send one in one corner the other in another corner and I would grab a cup of coffee or something to relax with and I would go in another corner. I found it good to reward them with dessert after lunch if they behaved. You have to be firm though and when you tell them they didn't behave so they can't have the reward they will whine but don't give in. If you are consistantly taking away priveleges when the whining comes and reward when they are pleasant they will learn to be pleasant is better. I would get down on their level and tell them I could not understand them through the whining and they need to use their words and tell me what they want or how they feel. Empathize with them when they are upset. Often it gets worst when they are tired or over stimulated so have him chill out sitting on the floor on pillows with a book and or some soft music I find helps too. And make sure he is getting enough sleep. Good luck and try to remember this stage will pass.

Answer 5

Other than distracting him, and you need to plan in advance for it, there isn't much you can do. He will grow out of it and be your angel again soon. I always tried to get outside and keep my son moving. Play catch, walk, run, hide n go seek, teach him how to bounce a ball, at the lake throw rocks- lots of rocks, into the water. It wore him out and one day a miracle occured- I had my son back. I think he was about 4 by then. My mantra back then was "This to shall pass." He's a teenager now and that old mantra is coming in handy again. Good Luck.

Answer 6

My husband and I just had this discussion at lunch. Our 3 year old never went thru this, but our 2 year old is doing the same thing as you describe. We were going to give him another timeout spot - like the crib - he cant get out of. But then the crib/sleeping gets asscociated with bad behavior. Im completely anti-corporal punishment so that is not an option. Next up I think we're on to ignoring, but my weekend task is to crack open both my Happiest Toddler on the Block book and Toddlers Owners Manual to look for some tips. Then I saw your post - so will have to check out the responses.

Answer 7

I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I have a 3 years old son and he has been doing that what feels like forever. I went to www.supernanny.us.com and found allot of helpful info. I printed up a chart and i started taking him into a room with just me and him to talk about the problem. I takes time to over come the problem at times but if you stick with it i know it will get better..

Answer 8

My son is 4 almost 5 and im still there. I feel your pain, but sorry no advise, maybe just ignore the whinning, you can come immune to it.

Answer 9

KEEP UP WITH THE TIME OUTS AND BE CONSISTANT, IF HE STARTS WHINING TELL HIM TO GO TO THE CORNER, AND MAKE SURE YOU TELL HIM THATS WHY HE IS THERE. MY SON IS ALMOST 3 1/2 AND I AM STILL GOING THROUGH IT, ITS FRUSTRATING ALRIGHT, GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

I would say a nice Chardonnay. There is some brand from California called "Barefoot." they make a cheap one, that is also tasty!