invited at the last minute?

Question

A friend invited me to be their date at a wedding tomorrow and I feel funny going because my friend wasn't originally invited, the bride is an acquaintance and had some extra seats to fill. I think this is totally tacky and told my friend I didn't have money to give but she kept asking me and offered to give a gift from both of us. I refuse to go. What are your thoughts?

my friend was invited at the last minute and we weren't invited to the bridal shower isn't it proper etiquette to invite guests a few weeks in advance? I'm not married so I don't know.....plus if I don't have money its not right for my friend to pay for me.

maybe I'm not making myself clear, the bride invited my friend today saying she had extra seats, the wedding is tomorrow.

Answer 1

it is rude - go & eat if you don't have anything else to do - give em a card!

Answer 2

want to know what i think? i am a veteran of every wedding question and experience. just go and be gracious. really. eat, drink, dance, let the date give a gift from the two of you. when you see the couple congratulate them. dress nice and smile and have a wonderful time. you will be doing a favor for this couple. dont refuse to go if it is neither here nor there for you. go and add to the happiness of this event. i am completely serious. i have actually gone to a swanky wedding once and realized instantly i was there to fill a seat. what the hey!!! i had a great great time. sometimes it is okay. did you know that at the oscars they have people whose only job is to fill seats when the actors go for a bathroom break so when the camera pans the crowd there are no empty seats? and that is one of the best jobs of the whole show. they are dressed up, they mingle with the swell people, they eat drink and have a great time, and their presence is appreciated and fills a need. let your presence be your present. go.

yes, i get it, its tomorrow. no, it is not proper etiquette to invite people at the last minute. you are right. but who cares? now, if she was very good friends or relatives of this bride and the bride did not invite your friend when the invites went out i could OF COURSE understand you would think it strange, and would not want to go, me too, but you said she is an acquaintance and they obviously want to have a full hall for their reception. so, read again what i wrote above and go.

Answer 3

Yeah, I think it's a little rude... My friend is getting married soon and there are friends she can't invite because she is "obligated" to invite certain family members. If they can't go, she'll then invite the other friends. In those cases I think it's not great but at least understandable... but if you're just trying to fill seats... I agree that it's a little rude.

That said! Go to the wedding! If your friend is invited and is allowed to take a guest, then go and have fun! Eat the free food and drink the free wine and dance and just have a good time. Also, as the guest, you don't have to take a gift. The gift comes from the person who the invitation was sent to.

But if you really don't want to go, then don't!

Answer 4

I don't know about this couple, but weddings are expensive and it isn't always possible to invite everyone one would like to. For my wedding some friends missed flights accross the country and I asked other friends who I couldn't invite earlier to take their seats. We all had a great time.
I would not however bring a gift if I were either you or your friend unless it is something small and tokeny like a card about being happy to share their day with a simple picture frame. All last minute guests should just come to liven up the atmosphere, that is the gift.

Answer 5

I knew human beings in the Dominican Republic for awhile, and here is what they do there: on the day till now the occasion (birthday, bathe, anniversary or maybe if) they collect a pile of invites and walk around city turning in them by utilising hand (postal costs are too high priced). I asked them why they waited till the day till now to try this, and that they instructed me that in the event that they added the invites too early, then by utilising the day of the occasion each and every person could overlook! Genius, no? How lots notification did you elect for? in case you have something else planned, then do no longer flow to the BBQ. If no longer, then untwist your knickers and attempt to have a stable time on the occasion. You already knew concerning the birthday party. in step with hazard you're considered one of those "specific" acquaintances who does not incredibly need an invitation when you consider which you're continually estimated to be there.

Answer 6

Don't go. And she shouldn't either. She was just invited TODAY? ONE day before the wedding? How tasteless and rude is that? That means...she wasn't originally invited, and wasn't even worth considering to invite earlier, while the invitations were being sent out. If there's extra seats to fill (which obviously means they've already paid for them and if they're not used they are going to lose money) then tough s**t! Let them deal with it. If your friend goes then she'll look pathetic, dropping whatever she had going for Saturday (if she even had anything) just to go to a wedding she wasn't even invited to in the first place? And like you said...the bride is acquaintance...not a friend.

Answer 7

You as the date of a guest, whether invited originally or not, is not required to give a seperate gift. The guest isn't even required to add your name to the gift. In fact gifts aren't REQUIRED, it's just tacky not to have one if you were invited. As last minute being asked, don't go if you don't feel comfortable, if you don't mind-go have fun.
Do what you're heart tells you to do. It really depends on what you feel for the person who asked you. It's them you'll hurt if you turn him/her down.

Answer 8

So have you decided if your going?
If you dont want to go then dont. However if she wants to go and your her friend and would not like her not going because she doesnt want to go alone or dont want to think of her sitting there all alone then do her the favor and join her. With a last minute invite I'm sure they are not expecting a gift.
You'll be getting free food, a story to tell and something to do if you had no plans.

Answer 9

It is a little tacky, but go . I mean what are you out, an afternoon...big deal. They may have a great reception and you'll end up having fun. Have some food, drinks, and it'll all be over. There are always a lot of good looking girls at weddings buddy.

Answer 10

Oh, come'on, a girl is asking you to go to a party and you are making lame excuses?

What's the real issue here?

FYI, as a date, you are not requiered to bring a separate gift, one GOOD gift on behalf of both of you is appropiate.

and, no one wants to "fill in" seats on a wedding, if anything, having less people means more food and liquour for the other guests.

The issue here seems to be your self steem

Good luck

PS/ It's not tacky at all.

Answer 11

Don't go. You weren't even orig anally invited, so don't feel obligated. Explain to your friend that you haven't planned on going and it doesn't fit into your schedule. If she is a true friend she'll understand, and accept your decline to the invite.