My step son has flunked out of college after 2 years at age 20?

Question

He is coming home to live with us and find a job. How do I let him know him living with us is temporary? How do i push him out with out forcing him out? what bills should he pay? Help plz.

Answer 1

just when he's comes home be like this is the room you'll be temporally be staying maybe he'll get the hint, my mom had to do the same thing, good luck with that one!!

Answer 2

I'd cut her off. Kids these days do not understand the value of hard earned money they think going to college means they can party an skip classes but they don't see that skipping a class means losing a couple of hundreds of dollars once added their tuition and books etc. If she is serious about getting ahead in life, let her work for it. U won't be able to hold her hand forever. What happens she enters the workforce? Are u going to monitor her work there too? She needs to learn. Parents can only do so much. If u keep it up ure only enabling her she will never succeed in anything without mommy and daddy's help. Is that what u want?

Answer 3

Since he is coming home, he'll be expecting just welcome arms and acceptance. I wouldn't see a problem with that, but I would have (either that night or the next morning, but as soon as possible) a family meeting.

You and your wife need to make a list of expectations from him. You tell him this is a different time of his life, he's not the young man he once was, he needs to start looking out for himself and how he's going to get by. Tell him you have expectations for him to find a good job, to pay rent, and that he needs to have a plan to save money because you don't expect him to be living with you guys except for a few months.
All three of your should decide when this day or month should be. He needs to have some sort of control in his life at this point, or else he'll be depending on you for a long time, more than a young man his age should.

Give him the ability to set deadlines for himself, like when he needs to find a job and when he'll be able to leave. He needs to decide both of these things in a week's time (maybe) so he can think about strategies or jobs that will make it possible for him to move out and that he feels confident that he shouldn't worry about being on his own. He'll have to report back to you about his decision and you can both agree if the amount of time is good for both of you.

Tell him also, that if he doesn't pay rent, he doesn't get to go out and do things that he wants ALL THE TIME, he'll be living under your rules just like in the old days. If he wants MORE freedom, he needs to pay up, I agree $100 a month is a good amount of rent (it could be more if you wanted).

I wouldn't expect any less on any of these things I told you if my parents decided to do this to me.
I'm 26, I don't think any of this is harsh treatment, he needs to learn to be independent and responsible now.

Answer 4

I would just be honest and as soon as he gets home make it clear what you expect from him. Tell him although you're disappointed he didn't finish college you understand it's not for everyone. He is now considered an adult living under your roof. If he's not in school then he MUST work and support himself. EVERYONE must pay their own way in life and he's no exception. Tell him you'll give him xxxx amount of time to get a job AND save for a place....at the same time. You expect that he contribute to the household for time he's there...both financially and physically...do your own laundry, cut the grass, whatever YOU expect him to do. Don't make it easy, (life isn't easy) don't make it too comfortable for him, he won't leave. I mean be fair, be reasonable, truly give him a hand getting on his own, just make it a firm hand! ;) Oh yeah, and always do these things with a mother's love! Good luck!

Answer 5

Before he even sets foot in your door, give him a clear timeline of when you expect him out of your house...then stick to it! If he's unemployed, have fun trying to get him to pay a bill. Let him know that once he starts working, you expect x-amount of money per month to cover increased expenses such as utilities, food, etc. If the time comes that he's worn out his welcome and he's still not self sufficient, tell him in no uncertain terms he needs to find somewhere else to stay. If he failed out of college at 20, maybe this will be the motivation he needs to actually be productive in society. You're a good step parent for even allowing him to live with you!

Answer 6

Personally, I would want to know why he flunked. It is to easy to complete studies for a college degree. I would limit the time he has to live with you. It is so irresponsible he flunked out of school, if you do not set limits, his irresponsibility will continue. I think 45 days is reasonable for him to find employment and be receiving income that will enable him to be independent. Force him out??? Why not. You will display more love for him by making him be responsible. You already know that.

Answer 7

This is always hard. Tell him that if he wants to come and live with you, he will have to help pay for electric or heating or something like that. you should also recomend that he goes back to high school. he can take night classes or go as a full-time student. let him stay as long as he needs but don't let him overstay his welcome. if you don't feel comfortable talking to him as a stepmother, give him some advice as a friend or talk it over with his mother and father.

Answer 8

Tell him there will be no free loading off of you, he has a certain amount of time to get a job and pay his fair share. If he screws up and makes this a problem, you will solve that problem by moving him out yourself.

Answer 9

have him pay the things he uses the most. Water Electricty, internet. just sum up what he uses and make him pay a monthly bill i would say around 250 to 300$ a month

Answer 10

I would suggest that you immediately set up the rules for his stay. Outline his responsibilities within the house, like cleaning, laundry, etc.
Give him a set date for his move out and stick to it.
Make sure that he is actively looking for work and not sitting around playing video games, etc.
Confront him immediately if he does not comply with the rules you have outlined for him.
The only way you can make this work is to set limits, and stick to them. It's hard, but if you don't you could end up angry, frustrated, and your relationship could suffer.
Good luck to you.

Answer 11

Charge him room fair. Just $100 a week includes food and washing machine and of course utillitys. Hes only renting a room not whole house.