If we were created by a higher being, where can I demand a refund?

Question

- My back continually hurts since my 20s
- My eyesight was never good but it is getting progressively worse.
- There seem to be several blemishes on my body, they have been there since birth. Some have sprouted hair.
- Sometimes my head hurts for no particular reason
- I get a runny nose when confronted with pollen, often coupled with sneezing. This is rather annoying as pollen is everywhere.
- Why are my feet always cold?
- I seem to leak at set times. Another process produces a typically brown substance that I will not describe further. But why couldn't it have been pink and smelling of roses?

I could go on but you get the gist. In short, I am most dissatisfied with this product and I want my money back or I will sue on the basis of incompetent design.

Since you don't seem to return my calls I will visit one of your summer retreats on earth and place my demands there. I also have a complaint about the loud noise they make on sunday morning when I'm trying to get some sleep in.

Deke: don't go there, or I will have to tell them about the birthmark.

Answer 1

try 1-800-ITS-ALL-CRAP.

Answer 2

You never paid a price. You decided long ago, either by your own design or through influence of another, that your life had a cost and to this day you have not repaid that debt.
I, personally, would not choose to hold such a belief. As I would not desire the effect on perception, which in turn would collide with situations of different nature. Taking over my life as though I had decided my entire fate with just a single phrase never spoken aloud.
You have always been free. Free to choose your experience and what it should be. You have been given this freedom from birth and even prior to that. God does not create godself within you except through your own creative process.

God has left insignia upon mankind, and yet God is comprised of all that exists.

Is it possible, nay probable that You have been made of the energy and matter that you alone have gathered over the years. Mom sqeezed you out, but you ate the bread, drank the wine, and listen to the words of others, and took in the images of reality, you interpreted them. You made them what they are TO YOU.

To another such as I they are not as you describe. I would have to be insane to demand cash from myself.

I am not suggesting I am God except in the sense of what you perceive God to have done, while you are the one responsible, so am I for my life.

Maybe you are insane.

Only one way to find out.

Call upon everyone else to tell you what you should think, say, and do.

Answer 3

Further evidence that some Christians have absolutely no sense of humor . . .

My nose is dripping. I'm going to be in line right behind you. I have a complaint about the nasal plumbing during the summer. I thought summer colds were rare.

Answer 4

You´re right. GOD Corp. is a fraud. I wonder if we could count on a recall of all the faulty christian models, like Ford or Toshiba or Sony does. Christians would probably mix that up with afterlife as they rise to their doom, they would get disassembled and thrown on the industrial garbage pile in the factory patio!
And all the ones "Left Behind" would be the ones worthy of evolutionary purposes.
Did I mix subjectivity and objectivity here? Well Christians are allowed to, so let me indulge myself... Right?

Answer 5

I wrote a letter. Never got a reply. My design is flawed as well.
-I get dizzy easily
-Asthma, allergies
-It seems that there is a monthly issue with bleeding that is quite annoying, and costs me money and sometimes dignity.
-What's up with this stupid rash, and why did I have to be born with it?!
-Why do I only have nine toenails?

I also have more complaints, but I want to go back to watching Hellsing. =P

Answer 6

Well you're pretty whiny. The refund desk is just around the corner, past the water cooler, up to the third floor, and straight ahead. Ask for Doris, she's the best.

Answer 7

There are those who always complain about themselves and what they do or don't have or how they never were dealt a good life.

There are those who love through Christ and ignore their own suffering while helping those less fortunate or in need. They love from wheelchairs, give while dying of cancer, open their hearts to any who will accept their love.

Which are you?

Answer 8

Blame our compassion, if it weren't for that we would have evolved stronger genes and might be able to deal with pollen a little better. We come up with drugs and remedies to keep people with weak genes alive and reproducing so there's no chance of us getting rid of bad attributes.

I'm glad for it though, or my numerous faults would have me left out in the wilderness to die at birth.

Answer 9

The higher power that created you were your parents. Tell them that you want your money back.

Answer 10

Tell him I would like to request a larger reproductive organ

Answer 11

The only thing is, what does a "refund" imply. Look out for lightning bolts.