I have a niece that is 8. She is constantly being put off on someone else in the family so her parents can go run errands telling her/caregiver that they'll be back in a "little-bit" but it always turns into hours. Mom doesn't work but doesn't cook much either so they eat out ALOT! Neice is overweight and suffers from severe constipation (I think because of all the fast food and junk). Dad talks loud normally and when he's upset, he can be terrifying. Neice is constantly told to play video games both at home and out so parents won't have to be bothered. Now parents have decided to homeschool because neice was picked on last year (overweight) and they would have to drive her to the next elementary school (only 4 miles up the road). I'm really concerned since neice is a really great kid but always looks desprately sad and has developed an eye tic. Should I call social services with my concerns?
2007-08-03 05:46:03 · 16 answers · asked by Nikki123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like a lack of parental responsibility. I wonder, how long is homeschooling going to last if they're always pushing her off on family and friends? Sounds like they're being irrational and irresponsible.
Talk to them about keeping her in school, and teaching her how to respond to those who pick on her. If they don't know how, you can offer to give her some tips. Kids should never be given the impression that running away solves anything. Ask your niece if she *really* wants to change schools/home school. If not, that's something else to bring up to her mother.
Maybe you can even tutor her or something after school. Then, you can make sure she gets healthy food and her homework done, that sort of thing. Maybe if you can spend more time with her, your influence will have a good effect on her life.. and maybe her parents will miss her when she's at your house and want to spend some time with her when she's home.
I would also talk to her mother about the video games and junk food. If it's possible, she should be able to play outside. She's old enough to know to stay within boundaries, and not talk to strangers, et al. Give her some easy recipes - like Hamburger Helper kind of things, so she can start cooking at home.
Sure, you can call social services, but instead of reporting abuse or neglect (which, legally, doesn't seem to be occurring), ask for advice.. tell the person your concerns and ask them what you can do.
But the first thing to do is express your concern to your niece's parents. Try not to come of as "holier than thou" - it's hard not to seem that way when you're criticizing someone else's lifestyle, but I'm sure you can find a way.
Maybe you can say - "hey, I found this great recipe.. would you like to try it sometime at home?" or maybe "wanna come over for a baking/cooking afternoon?"
Good luck.
2007-08-03 06:22:14 · answer #1 · answered by customfordgirl79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, they sound like terrible parents but it doesn't sound like you could prove that they're doing anything criminal.
Can you spend more time with your neice? Cook her nutritious meals once in awhile and help her learn about nutrition? Suggest alternate activities to video games?
It doesn't sound like you feel you can talk to the parents about your concerns- that's too bad.
You know, some kids that get picked on in school end up doing just fine. They should be teaching her to face the problem, not run away from it. UGH I could go on and on about what a terrible example they're setting for her in many ways but that doesn't help you. Sorry...
2007-08-03 05:54:53 · answer #2 · answered by LB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes in life we have to make decisins that we dont really want to and right now you have two choices you can A sit back and do nothing but watch it to continue to go on and watch your your neice grow up and be miserable and overweight and if something happens to her you will be beat yourself up for the rest of your life because you watched it go on or you can B call and make a report and if they are doing something wrong it will show when they go to the house and then look at it like this if she get took its not your fault because if they were doing right by this child they would not be there or have taken her so it will be there fault and when you call they wont reveal you are the one who called so let them decide whether she needs to be there but the first step is up to you then maybe if everything is together in your household you can get her or you can try C go over to your sister and let her know how you feel about whats going on good luck on deciding
2007-08-03 06:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can but social services probably won't do anything, they are so overloaded with serious life threatening cases of neglect and abuse and many of those nothing is done about.
Why not set up times to spend with your niece - crafts, baking, shopping with you. Have you talked to our sibling about your concerns before you go calling the authorities, isn't that what you'd want someone to do for you.
Sadder yet this is the norm nowadays.
2007-08-03 05:52:01 · answer #4 · answered by Moonpie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only grounds you would have to contact S.S. are that her health might be in jeopardy. They certainly shouldn't be leaving her with other people constantly or using video games to raise her, but it doesn't actually constitute abuse. The system already has its hands full and they would probably not deal with this issue. Kudos for your concern though and maybe when you are with her, you could show her healty eating habits.
2007-08-03 05:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by Chickenfarmer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to talk to the parents alone about your concerns before going to social services and if they still don't seem receptive, then give them a call
2007-08-03 05:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by cutie420311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she needs medical help and they are not giving it to her then yes, it is considered neglect. I would call social services with your concerns. I think they have a hotline where you can ask questions. Look it up in the internet.
2007-08-03 06:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by greysfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that before you do that you should have a heart-to-heart talk with your sibling about your concerns. Explain that you believe they are neglecting their child, and that you love her and it breaks your heart to watch. Offer to help. You could be a positive influence in your niece's life. Take her out for a long walks, trips to the zoo or park, dance with her, anything fun and to get her moving. Expose her to healthy, delicious foods, fruits and veggies. Buy them a copy of this or another similar book:
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/cgi-bin/ae.pl?asinsearch=0975316648
Have them watch TLC's Honey We're Killing the Kids:
http://tlc.discovery.com/tv-schedules/series.html?paid=2.14412.55651.9203.x
You have to ask yourself, what will happen to your niece if you report this to the authorities. If the parents are found guilty of abuse/neglect who will she be placed with? Are you willing to take custody of her, does she have someone else who can love and support her? Are you willing to damage your relationship with your family?
2007-08-03 06:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by Nadine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every family goes through hard times. Mabe there is something more on the parents side on why this is all happening.
2007-08-03 05:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by Autumn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything in there that could be considered abuse or neglect.
I see some poor paretning skills, but contacting child proective services will accomplish nothing
2007-08-03 06:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋