How can I deal with it hurts to talk about it?

Question

My dad is married to a woman named Amy, she is my stepmom, she has a daughter and son her daughter is such a brat and she can insult you right up front and it's so annoying..... but when she started to call my dad "DAD" she almost made me cry. I had a conversation with my Dad hundreds of times he always takes her side. What should I do I can't ignore it she says it almost as much as I do. I can't talk to my dad or amy about it they always take her side. And I can't talk to my stepsister about it she will make it all worse.....x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Ps: her dad lives out of the state and she calls him not dad but eric his name
:-(

Answer 1

it's probably very rough for you... and if it's been rough for YOU because of your situation, going through your parents' divorce, and then you father's remarriage, the bratty step-sister is probably in a lot of emotional pain, as well.

you and her have been through quite a lot in your young lives, that is for sure. and i can understand why you would be upset that your step-sister calls your father "Dad".

i tried to find you some websites for teens about coping with step siblings. the sources below are about blending families, and also touch on the topic of children and their feelings....

you could look to see what might help you.. and if you find information that could help your father and Amy, then print them out... or show them the websites.

sometimes we need to open our parents' eyes for them to "SEE".
hugs hugs.

Answer 2

Whilst I know every situation is different, I went through something similar when I was young. It's so difficult, and I know it hurts, but you have to try and look at the bigger picture... what counts most is the relationship that YOU have with your dad, and from what I can tell you love him a lot and of course he will love you too. In order to be with your stepmum he has had to take on children that aren't his own. Deep down they will never be the same as is own children, but luckily it seems he has been really kind to them and tried to make them feel important too. He is probably so worried that they may feel he doesn't love them as much as his own children that he overcompensates by sometimes taking their side over yours... I think he's just trying to do all possible to make the new unit seem like a normal family. As for the stepdaughter, well it's a relief that they seem to welcoming your dad as part of their family instead of being horrid to him, which would have caused problems between him and Amy. I'm guessing the daughter is younger than you - she's being silly and immature, but you just try and be the bigger person, rise above it (although I'm sure it's hard) - and make your Dad proud that your his daughter.
xx

Answer 3

First of all I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. Your dad and stepmother are being very insensitive. They should not be encouraging the use of the term 'dad' when the girl has her own father (imagine how he feels!). The reason a lot of step families do that is to try and encourage a 'spirit of family' which is all very well for them but very difficult for you. I think that you should remember though, that no matter what she calls him she is only the step-daughter and could never be more important to him than you. It sounds harsh but you have a blood relationship and they don't. Think about this - if your dad split up with Amy, would he still be their 'dad'? You would, they wouldn't. I think you need to ignore it even though its hard and keep the secret knowledge that you are number one to dad like they could never be. You could also try calling your dad by his real name and see how he reacts! He might see what all the fuss is about then! Its a very difficult time and there are a lot of jealousies and things to deal with. No matter how bad you feel, your step-sister is probably feeling far worse and far more insecure.

Answer 4

How old is your step-sister? How old are you? Your step-sister sounds like she's in need of some discipline, if she can insult someone right their face and not have some consequences for her actions. Maybe she insults you because she's jealous of the relationship you have with your father. Have you considered that possibility? Try befriending her. Let her know that you aren't the enemy, and stop behaving as though you are. As for calling your father "Dad", since she calls her biological father by his given name, maybe your father is the only "dad" she's ever known. The bottom line is, any man can be a father, it takes a special kind of man to be a dad. Maybe your stepsister has picked up on the fact that your dad is a good one. Realize that your dad has enough love for all of you and share him with her. Blending two families is not easy, but things will get better, if everyone is willing to make the effort.

Answer 5

I am sorry for what you are going through, but unfortunately i think you will have to get used to your step sister calling your dad, dad, you have to realise, that you are all one family now. Remember, you are his flesh and blood, you have his blood running through your veins, to your stepsister he is just dad, but you have more than her, you must have his personality, you might even look like your dad, so you have alot more than your step sister.. i am sure if you were not around he would miss you more than your step sister (if you know what i mean).. If you have spoken to your dad about this and he hasn't done anything about it then you will have to accept it. Listen, do not change your relationship with your dad, get closer to him even more, if your step sister is annoying then just ignore her, your stepsister must be feeling very insecure, and if your stepsister finds out that you are feeling insecure, she will use it against you, and the atmosphere will be unbearable. So don't let her win, he is your dad, and play it cool.. Good luck

Answer 6

You're not the only one going through this type of situation,it's happening even now to different people(like my best friend for example).To be honest with you,there is nothing wrong with her calling your father dad irrespective of what she calls her real dad,your father is now her dad too.There is one thing I've come to learn over the years,I can never change another person especially some one who doesn't think he/she is doing the wrong thing.So trying to change your step sister is just like some one who is trying to correct a dead dog.I'm not saying it's okay for her to be rude or for your dad to take sides with her either,it's wrong.However,I don't take my sister as a sister or my brother as a brother 'cos their perfect I do so 'cos we're family.So accept your step-sister for who she is and love her as you would you own sister.It's hard I know but very rewarding later.Finally don't go about complaining cos it will only make people see you as the bad one.

Answer 7

I'm not sure how old you are, but you sound quite young. It must be horrible to hear someone else calling your dad "dad", but you have to understand that she sees him as a father and isn't calling him "dad" to annoy you. As horrible as it makes you feel, you are going to just have to deal with it. You didn't say if your mum was still around anymore... are you close to your stepmom? Do you call her Amy or mom? Don't be sad :-) Be happy that your dad is a good dad and someone else feels that they can call on him. Be proud that he's your dad, don't see it as taking sides, he has to be fair.

Answer 8

I had a similar situation after my parents divorded and my mom re-married to a guy who had a son and a daughter. Mind you, at the time, I was in my early 20's and his kids were between 9-12 (ish). The first time I heard the daughter call MY mom "MOM", I FREAKED!! My younger sister and I talked about it, and we told the daughter that this is OUR mother, not YOUR mother. She's been our mom for 20 years, she's only been in your life for 20 minutes. So don't call her that again.

So maybe we had the tag-team thing going, and the fact that we were older and probably scared the crap out of her... but it worked! :)

Answer 9

Hi there!

Sorry to hear you feel as you can`t really talk to anyone at home...you are not in an easy situation.
You didn`t write about your mum?!
Or about your own siblings? If you have any?

I think the important thing for you would be to first think how bad is it for you, what would you like to change if it`s possible to make you feel comfortable and happy?!
Then sit down with your father and the rest of your new family
and try to talk a responsible grown-up way about your relationships and about your happy future together!!!
It is possible to make a change to better by a little step by step!
You need to all to want to make it!
Live together can be happy for all of you, but you`ll need the compromises!
Some kind of rules which ones all of you will respect equally!

Look after yourself and others!
Keep yourself active and useful!
Your life will be exciting and meaning-full!
Be positive in your thinking!
Your life will be happy and succes-full.

Good luck! All the best!

L

Answer 10

Well your dad has a new woman and he is going to be extra nice to her kids BC he wants to make her happy. I see it alot. Most of my friends are in the same boat as you. There is not much you can do about it except for let it happen BC if you talked to your dad already and he has not changed it then hes probably not going too. You might just have to deal with it and accept it