My inlaws are very snobish with me and my parents but somehow when it comes to my toddler they want lots of interaction with her. It's difficult for me because I just keep thinking of those times and how they have treated me. It's just such an uncomfortable time for me.
Whenever my toddler says their names I just feel like crying.
I never imagined life to be like this before marriage. I never believed in those cliched horrible inlaw stories when I was younger.
2007-08-03 05:15:22 · 9 answers · asked by Malaika 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let me put a little different spin on this for you. I have a daughter-in-law that has not been very nice to us from the beginning. Her parents always looked down at us too. We have many friends and large loving families that we get along with great. On the other hand her parents have few friends, if any, and she has few friends. For our son's wedding we were nothing more than invited guests. She never wanted much to do with us or her husband's family.
I now have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old grand daughter. We have learned to focus on our relationship with her and I have to say it is fantastic!! She loves us very much. She calls us grandma and grandpa and has a different name for her other grandparents. This is good because I know when she is talking she truly means us.
By focusing on our relationship with our grand daughter and our son, it seems that she is beginning to come around. Which we are very happy about! As far as her parents go, it would be nice to be treated cordially, but they are the ones with the problem. I have even invited them for cookouts, so we try.
Please try and focus on the good and nurture the relationship between child and grandparents. Do not try and come between your husband and his parents too.
2007-08-03 07:22:55 · answer #1 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is terrible. I would say continue to be cordial and accept that they are jerks.
Maybe tell your Husband how they make you feel. Hopefully he will see it too and speak with them.
Remember it is a thin ice subject. His parents against his Wife, he loves both.
If you make him aware it may take a long time because he will have to work through the denial but he will eventually see it.
Don't push him to choose sides this will cause problems between the two of you. Be patient and hopefully it will change. If not just come to the realization that they don't like you and stay away as much as possible.
They are not worth causing problems in your marriage, which may be what they want.
2007-08-03 05:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your inlaws shouldn't affect your emotions, hon.
sometimes we have to accept people at face value. they are still your child's grandparents and at least they want to spend time with the child.
perhaps you could take an assessment of yourself. your self esteem must be suffering some if you are so upset because of other people
we can't control how other people act or what they do. you don't have to LIKE them.
setting personal boundaries is another, good idea.
you can find information on Setting Boundaries and Building Self-Esteem on line.
YOUR life is about YOU.. worrying about others, is unhealthy.
2007-08-03 05:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aren't you in a pickle? It's not an easy thing to resolve because you can't change people once they are are set in their ways.Your in-laws will probably be that way no matter who they come across because they feel inferior to other people around them.They feel that since you are married to their son, they own you and your emotions.Not true.When the time comes for you to have a moment alone with them, I would let them know how their actions to you and your family makes you feel and also let them know that you consider it improper to treat you or your family that way.They probably won'trealize what they are doing because they have done it for so long and no one has been brave enough to stand up to one or both of them.
The rule should be that the next time they come over and want to spend time with the family, they have to treat eveyone equally and not snobbishly.It's great that they want to be great grandparents to their grandchhild but to treat everyone else like they are beneath them is not acceptable.It wouldn't be tolerated by you and it wouldn't be fair to them if someone did it to them.
To reduce you to tears is a very bad way to start off the in-law relationship.Out of curiosity, ask them why they treat you so horribly and why they treat your family the same way.What diid any of you do to deserve the treatment?When they give you no answer, tell them" I thought so.I figured that you would try and control my family and our emotions but hate to tell you this but it won't happen.Family works both ways, treat everyone on the same level or don't bother bringing your hypocritical attitude over and stay home.End of discussion." That way the tables are turned on them and it shows that you have a backbone to stand up to yourself.
Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel.If he goes about the " Don't let them get to you" deal, stand up to him too and let him know that he is blind to what his parents do to other people and that you won't tolerate their behavior. If it happens again, make sure that they are warned that they will not be allowed to see their grandchild until better relations are made between you and them.They wouldn't allow you to do the same to them so what gives them the right to do it to you?
Best wishes and good luck.
2007-08-03 05:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i will thoroughly comprehend your venture. Why? My mom in regulation instructed me the comparable element while my 2nd baby replaced into born. My MIL is retired and had to spend a good number of time with the infant- so she stated that we convey the infant down on Sunday night and my MIL would convey her back on Friday night. I basically laughed it off and my husband labored it out along with her devoid of hurting your emotions. I lean on my husband while dealing with my in rules- he's familiar with them extra appropriate and would keep the peace extra appropriate than i will. attempt discussing along with your husband and permit him take the front line. additionally, basically thank her for the advice, yet permit her comprehend which you somewhat opt for time to bond with this baby and that can't be completed while the youngster is away a competent factor of the week. good success!
2016-10-01 08:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch Still Standing...
2007-08-03 05:23:19 · answer #6 · answered by gary12850 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must differentiate your relationship with the inlaws from your childs. As long as you see that they are not mistreating your child I would let them interact.
2007-08-03 05:38:48 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your child is blood related to both you/your husband's relatives ....none are your daughter's inlaws.
2007-08-03 05:30:51 · answer #8 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its about their control. Soon they will be able to present the toxicity to the grandchildren so minimize contact if you can
2007-08-03 06:17:11 · answer #9 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋