My husband and I blended our families to include four teens. We've been married nearly 5 years and recently took custody of his two children, I fought hard to help get them.
MIL constantly takes her BIO grandchildren shopping to buy them clothes, showing up unannounced to take HER grandchildren places and always leaves my two behind.
Last week she kept HER grandchildren for the entire week, took them several fun places. They came home telling all about it. I raise my kids myself. My mom lives out of state and their dad isn't in the picture. I feel I have to make up to my kids for the lack of grandparents in their lives.
MIL complains to her friends how she HAS to provide food and clothing for our family because we can't?!?!?! We've never ask her to do anything because of this reason.
My husband says ignore her, she won't listen, no stopping her and she's going to complain whether she actually does it or not.
I'm tired of my kids hurting and I'm near divorce to be rid of her.
2007-08-03 05:00:46 · 5 answers · asked by neveradullmoment 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
move all her stuff into her garage
2007-08-03 05:05:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you allow her to affect the state of your marriage, it's a darn shame.
i hope you can come to some realizations -- first, even though your kids' feelings might be hurt, they are not technically her grandchildren. it's really too bad your mom isn't available to your kids, as well.
you can talk with your kids about this -- because the explanation is simple -- your mother in law isn't trying to spite your kids, she is spending time with her own grandchildren...
just because you help your husband to gain custody of his kids, doesn't mean his mother owes your kids something...
your mother in law might not want to spend money on four children, as well... and she might figure they have their own grandparents.....(some people are like this, whether we are pleased about it or not).
i don't know why your mother in law says she has to provide food and clothing for your family... it's insane, and to me, a stupid, petty comment.
perhaps you could arrange some sort of activity for your own kids, when the grandmother takes your step kids out... take them to lunch, let them go swimming or to a movie, whatever you are able to do or can afford.
Your husband is right... ignore her.... you indicated that she "won't listen".... you can't control what she does or who she does things with, so it's futile to become upset about what she does....
be happy with what YOU do for your family while they are together. letting her control your emotions isn't very healthy, and no wonder you're at your wits' end...
2007-08-03 05:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mother in Laws are hard to deal with. :( My best advice to you would be to sit your kids down and explain to them that not everyone on earth are good people and to not take it to heart. Then I would sit down with your husband's kids and explain to them that it hurts your kid's feelings. I am sure that your husband's kids do not know this and maybe explaining it to them will make them feel differently about the way their grandmother treats them. I understand what the kids are going through because while we were growing up my grandmother always favored my sister (and we are biological).
You probably cannot do anything to change your husbands mothers actions, but maybe the kids will start doing other things together.
2007-08-03 05:18:53 · answer #3 · answered by needtoknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a bitc* she is, is she human at all,
talk to your husband & tell him its you or his mom
don't let her visit everyday & don't let her take the kids to
& take your kids to places to without your step-kids or mil
2007-08-03 05:09:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her...tell her it's all of them or non of them...don't you watch Still Standing...?
2007-08-03 05:05:49 · answer #5 · answered by gary12850 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋