My mother in law hates me! What do I do?

Question

I've been married to her son for a few years and I have to twin girls but she always wanted her son to have a baby boy which I might not be able to give her so now she hates me! She keeps telling me what to do!

I was going to my parent's house a few weeks ago with my husband and kids so first I was wearing a skirt up to my knees with a cute top and it wasn't slutty at all. Then she said "no, you can't wear that,go change" so then I changed into capris and a another pretty shirt and she was going to say something but we just left then. She thinks I'm a slu* and I'm not, I never was. I don't know why she thinks I am though! I don't think she likes my kids either because their girls and she wanted a grandson. Help, what can I do?

Answer 1

Welcome to the club.

Get this straight no matter what you do, say or want. If she doesn't like you or love you, nothing will change that. believe me I am there, and still getting the harsh treatment from that so called loving mother in law!!!She keeps telling me what to do. and just recently even about sex. that one gone too far.

You have two girls and I have two boys. They are never happy, just get it straight. My mother in law was making a point how I will get girls. She wanted to hurt me, and if I got girls that means it is the worse thing on earth, she forget that she is a girl, or maybe she is not!! anything possible with that woman. and when I got a boy, and then another. She was not happy. nay she was somehow disappointed that she was wrong.

She comes to visit for months, and all my life is up side down just to serve her, and go what she wants, eat at the time she wants, even we have to move around the house in way that will not disturb her, or bother her at all. Our life is now belong to her, and we must only serve her and do her well, and heaven forsaken if I get upset or get in a bad mood. all hell will fail, because the whole universe is circling around her, not the sun. The other day I had a bad day, and was not feeling well. In her eyes, no I don't have that right. I should take with a smile, and never show any emotion. just take it. after all that I have done for her, because of that one moment of bad mood, everything was gone as if I never did a thing. What an ungreatfull piece of work.

She tried so hard to break us up, but couldn't do it, and we still got married. I think that is why she hates me and my family, just for marrying her son.
Every year, she comes to visit, and makes my life like hell, and evey year I stand alone, and my husband the chicken doesn't stand by me. To my surprize my father in law was the one who stood by me, and defended me, and that made her even more made. God Bless him. She used me to get him to dislike me, and now he saw her for what she is. simply a trouble maker. may she get what she deserve.

SORRY, for all the talk. her it goes.

HONOR THY SELF. No matter what you do it will not be enough. Respect yourself and others will respect you. I give the advice and know what I should do, but when it comes to doing it, it is easier said than done. But, I will do it now. HONOR THY SELF.
Remind her that she is a girl, if she is that old age and doesn't know how girls are great. If she blames you for not having boys. Tell her to learn some biology. so if she has to complain about not having boys, to go to her son. Dress as you wish, if she doesn't like it, tell her, don't look at me. look away.

You are great and wonderful enough for her son to love you and have children with, if she doesn't know that, it is her lose.

Good Luck

Answer 2

I have the same problem. My husband is from elsalvador and so is his mother and she was raised to do everything for her man and to never back talk him either. Basically in her eyes the woman in the relationship is suppose to be seen but not heard. And she hates me because I'm white and because i voice my opinion to my husband. And you know the only thing you can is deal with it! Because these women are set in their own ways and i believe that they can tell when they get under your skin and they like it. Because we took their little boys away from them and nothing is ever going to be good enough to them. Girl my advice is just keep a smile on and aslong as you and your husband are happy and you are taking care of your girls that is all that matters! Oh and also if you know that you are not a slu* and if your husband knows that too, then who cares what the old bag. But if you really do care about what she thinks try having your husband sit down talk to her about it! He is going to be the only one she listens, so you should tell him to give it a shot.

Answer 3

Well join the many people in your boat, I know what you mean. I have a mother in law like that also that hates me. She said that I trap her son into getting married..We have two kids together that she doesn't have anything to do with..
As long as your husband will take up for you don't worry about, I wouldn't let her come to my house if she can't be nice or have anything nice to say then she needs to stay home and not be saying negative things in front of your kids.
Are you the only daughter in law? Or does she treat them all like that..
I hope your husband is on your side and takes up for you, don't let her tell you what to do. I would have said no I'm wearing this and if she didn't like it oh freaking well..lol..

Answer 4

Mothers are protective of their sons, Sometimes they think that their son could have done better. Sounds like she really didn't mean what she said, if she really did not like you I think you would have had some sort of vague feeling when you were spending time with her. What would happen if you & your husband were to start a family? She probably wouldn't want to miss out on that. Your husband chose you to marry, his mother sounds a little jealous that her son is able to love someone other than her. I don't think it's a good idea to take this personally, sounds like no girl would have had her approval,

Answer 5

hi hon...

it seems as if you let this woman cross your boundaries and use you as a doormat long ago... and it needs to change.

DO NOT change your clothes for her! DO NOT think you have to "give her a boy grandchild"... it's YOUR life not hers!

If she hates you, it's her problem. she might be jealous, have nothing better to do than try to force control over others, has nothing interesting to do, is a nervous wreck (control freaks usually are!), and is a biznitch in general.

Who cares what she thinks? YOU know what type of person you are, and that is what matters...

If you do a websearch on SETTING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, you might find a lot of helpfull information in learning to deal with people like your mother in law.

We can't please everyone all of the time, except ourselves.

Wear whatever you want to wear, and have another child because it suits YOU and your husband, NOT his (stupid) mother.

You can't change her, but you can enforce your boundaries

i hope you will look into this and see what i mean.. hugs

Answer 6

Let your stupid mother in law know that the man sperm determines the sex of the baby not the woman. So if you did not conceive a boy and have 2 baby girls it's not your fault. Also she needs to grow up and be glad that her grandchildren are health as we take that for granted and focus on the sex of the baby rather then he/she being born with a sickness.

Also, do yourself a favor and stop jumping up and changing your clothes and worrying about what she has to say. Who really cares. Worry about you, hubby, and babies. Once she knows what she has to say is not important she will stop but, you make it important so she enjoys the drama. If she dose not like your next attire & tells you to change tell her you like it and so does your hubby so that's all that counts. Good luck.

P.S. I would love to have a girl, they are more fun..

Answer 7

She must be a real dumb a**, tell her that it's not your fault that your husband doesn't have a son. Tell the reason that your saying that is because it's the mans sperm that determines what sex the child will be.

If she doesn't believe you, tell her to look it up or even to ask a doctor, they can confirm that for her. Boy, is she ever stupid. Once you tell her that ask her if that makes her angry at her son, since it's all his fault that he's shooting girls.

Don't let her push you around like that, wear what you want to wear since you don't have to please her. If she won't stop being a pain in the back side, get her to go on the Doctor Phil show for mother in laws that are a pain in the a**.

God Bless, don't let her get the best of you 1 up her and put her in her place. She needs to mind her own business. Let her know that while you love her because of her son, tell her that she should mind her own business or that your going to call the Dr. Phil show and have them put her on it.

Best of luck!

Answer 8

Boy these stories about mother-in-laws sound familiar. Look, in most situations when people say this, I tell them that they need to talk to their husband because it is his mother and that your husband needs to put her straight, and I still think he needs to.

Can I ask what his reaction was when she said that to you?
She obviously has no respect for you, but still respects her "little boy". That is why it is vital that he be the one to confront her. But, if he won't, you need to. And I mean that you need to tell her right then and there that you are not a puppet and she is not your husband.

I've been through this. At first my husband didn't see it. But it didn't take long after getting engaged to me that the true self of her came out. She never did like me either. But it is not about her. She tried to tear our marriage apart, but didn't even come close because I had a husband that stepped up to his role. He basically told her that she was going to treat me with respect or that he wouldn't have a relationship with her either.

Let me say that she doesn't treat me like that anymore, but I am always on my guard, and since my husband stood up for me, I don't let any of the family bully me anymore, and I speak my mind on something when I disagree.

Answer 9

Well, you can start by not letting her pick out your clothes for you. Reminding her that her SON is the one that biologically determines the sex of a child might be a waste of time. Is your husband aware of this passive-aggresive thing? Do you live in her house, or does she live with you? Sometimes MILs never get past the thought that no one is good enough for their son (or daughter), but it is up to your husband to talk to his mother to tell her to back off, that he loves you and you and his daughters make him happy.

It's kind of sad for your girls, though. I loved my maternal grandmother, who loved all her many grandchildren, but always felt snubbed by my paternal grandmother, who would blatantly cater to the boys, but not the girls.

Answer 10

That's very tricky. First of all, she's obviously a BAD grandparent because she can't love her own grandchildren. Would you really want to waste your time pleasing somebody who's bad to your children? Who cares about having a grandson when you already have two beautiful daughters! I must say, just ignore her and continue being who you really are and wearing whatever you want! Don't forget, its your husband you have to please, not her.