on post housing, neighbor won't stop contacting me...?

Question

long story short, my neighbors and i ended up in an argument at which point i decided to stop all contact with them. today one of them knocked on my door to verbally accost me, when i shut the door (and in my state of irritation i did tell her "this, this is me slamming the door in your face"... i will not try to claim innocence) she chose to contact via yahoo messenger. does anyone happen to know if i have any recourse if this continues? i refuse to keep my son and myself reclusive because she feels the need to yell at me.

again, this is military housing, so no we are not renting. also, our husbands are currently deployed; and though my husband does outrank hers, i won't take it to that point. that makes me look bad as well as my husband. i'd like a solution that keeps our husbands out of it as much as possible, and keeps my side of the street as clean as possible as well.

since it has been brought up a few times, i don't have anything to apologize for. when we had the argument i told both of them that i didn't remember said incidents happening but that i apologize anyway. so in no way do i feel the need to apologize again.

and the reason for my statement and slamming the door in her face was because both of them had claimed i had done it to them in the past when i hadn't, so the temper that i still can't control decided to show her what having the door slammed in your face was.

Answer 1

It's quite simple to handle. You contact the Housing Office and talk to them about the situation. If you have made your statement and are attempting to refrain from talking to this individual, then the Housing Officer will have to handle the situation. Realize of course that both commands will be notified if there is a serious infraction of housing regulations. You both can be removed from Government housing and your husband can be called in to see his Commanding Officer.
Make sure you have your bases covered, and I would contact the Base Housing Officer as soon as possible, as if this escalates, the Security Department could become involved which will refer it to both Commands for Punnishment.

Answer 2

Well that would be the exact reason why I live off post. My advice would be to go to the housing division office and ask them what you can do about her especially if you feel nervous to have your child outside for fear that she will say something. Also tell them that she has been coming onto your property. If they don't help go to the MPs. I don't think you will need to take it that far. Don't keep your son inside because of them cause then they know they are winning what they think is a war between you. Ignore them and like I said if it gets too bad just go to the office. I learned during last deployment that some wives just like to cause drama so keep your head up and don't worry she will move on to another victim after she finds that you can't be rattled. Good luck and if you need to talk I am always on here since I am a stay at home mom.

Answer 3

Your neighbour sounds like a total head case.

As much as you might feel the need to follow up with an reaction to her contact, you might want to think twice about that.

There's nothing nastier than having a war with your neighbour. Every time you come and go from your front door you're reminded of the idiot next door, often by their making faces/swearing at you from their windows.

If YOU are sane, you'll do what you can to diffuse this situation.

I don't mean apologize, just totally ignore her. Don't react, no matter how confrontational she gets.

IF she breaks the law, or becomes a serious stalker, give her one verbal warning, then go to the police.

Sparing with the mentally ill will end badly, possibly for you or someone you love. Think of your family's safety, and the possibility that this neighbour is unstable enough to hurt them.

Answer 4

Don't you love housing lol. Just don't argue with them at all. You go out and do whatever you wish and if they say something call housing or the military police. Inform them when they speak to you that you will do this. If they are contacting you written then keep the records and have the MPs tell them not to contact you anymore. Write it in your IM first so that you can show the MP that you have already asked them to do this and that you do not feel comfortable with them continuing to do so. Don't let people run you down. That is your home and family and you have the power to live your life.

Answer 5

Ever think she is scared out of her mind about her husband? Just like you?

I am not saying to apologize, just be civil when passing. Don't respond to her email/messenger attacks. Just cool down and go about your business and see if not getting heated up with her slows the problem.

Chances are she is just venting her fear in an unacceptable way.

Does your door have a peep hole? If so don't answer it when it is her and let all moves be on her part. Contact your hubbies First Sgt if things don't stop and ask him for advice. Go to a deployed spouses group and seek assistance- some one might know her and help you out by speaking with her or helping her.

DON"T ESCALATE!

Ret. USAF SNCO

Answer 6

You can always report her harassment to the base police. Of course, if you're not innocent and have provoked her, you'll have to take your share of the blame and consequences.

OTOH, if you are partly to blame for the situation, you could always apologize to her for what you've done wrong (without the expectation that she will apologize too). No need to get pulled into a verbal confrontation... just say... Look, I was wrong for XXX and I want to apologize. I'm sorry." If she starts to berate you, just repeat "I apologize," then turn and walk away. I'm sure she won't hesitate to follow you in the ranting, but now you've cleared yourself of provoking her further and you can report her nasty behavior without hesitation. There are behavior rules for life on base... and I'm sure her harassment is a violation of some rule.

Good luck!

Answer 7

contact base police and file a complaint. Also notify housing office of the problem. Doccument everything and if possible keep a video recorder near the door and use it to doccument further contacts by your antagonists. If this persists they can lose their base housing or be charged with harassment. You might also notify your first shirt or your commander of the problem. A lot of times these situations can be resolved by the senior NCO's or commanders intercession.

Answer 8

Doesn't it seem like there should be some sort of mediation or dispute resolution organization operating on military bases? I mean... it's high stress when your spouse is deployed, and rather than bugging the MP's when things get stressful and ugly, wouldn't it be more effective to have a source and location to mediate these differences?

Of course, that would require that both parties would want to actually resolve the problem. Sounds like she's enjoying the "jerry springer" factor just a little too much... maybe it keeps her mind off her worries?

Jer-RY... Jer-RY... Jer-RY!!

Answer 9

OK,,from what i can tell your husband is in the navy,, well as you being on in post housing,, you can contact the Ma's and explain the situation, they should send a patrol out to tell them to leave you alone,, and if this does not work,, contact them again,, to let them know it did not work,,, and also contact the neighbors LPO,, or Chief and let them know the situation,, that way they can get it to stop also,, this is considered harassment and even the if it is the wives could be cited for Article 117 provoking speeches or gestures and article 134 the catchall of the articles. hat would be my advice to you.

Answer 10

Go the base housing office and get on a list to move. If this person is harassing you, you can file a criminal complaint with the base police but they may only give a warning. Keep in mind this is only temporary housing and one of you will be moving eventually.