Is this rude or what?

Question

My boyfriends father works in banking. He makes about the same annually as my father does. My father is a psychologist. My bf is always saying how his father is better, makes more money, they r richer, etc. I never try 2 compete w/ him so I dont understand where this is coming from, is it jealousy? His father could be labeled as "new money" he worked as a brick layer for years and about 5 years ago he lucked out with banking. He went bankrupt and used 2 work at dunkin donuts. Im not trying 2 put his dad down, he's a hard working man but my bf is always saying things like that my dad isnt a real doctor, etc. My dad slaved for years for a doctorate, plus, his father has tax write offs, whenver we go out to dinner he writes it off as dinner w/ a client, etc. so his dad has advantages that mine doesn't. Where is this coming from? He is always trying 2 make it like they are better but he 4gets I knew him back b4 his dad made it big. How should I handle this?

Answer 1

Your bf sounds like a spoiled brat who is always trying to pad his ego by "one-upping" eveyone else. His dad may be the same way.

It's called insecurity. He has to make himself look better by making others look smaller. Do you really want this in your life? You will always be "less" than him in his eyes. It will drag you down, and looks like it already is. You don't need it. Back up and back away. This kind of competition will follow him the rest of his days. His arrogance is shining like a spotlight.

Answer 2

Sounds like he knows exactly where is father came from and is embarassed by those humble beginnings. Maybe he's afraid that you (or your family) feel he and his family aren't good enough, so he's in your face about it all the time. Next time he starts his routine, say something like: "Your dad really is a great guy. He's worked very hard to get ahead in life, and now he is so successful! I'm just as proud of him as you are!" Maybe that will reassure him enough that he'll let it go. Also, make sure you aren't subconsciously saying or doing things that might imply that you think they're lower class or "new money".

Answer 3

He does not sound like a nice guy. A boyfriend should not make you feel he is better than you. He should be respectful of you. He should treat you as his equal. He is very immature and you should just come out and tell him how you feel!! If he
dumps you, then you know he cannot handle a mature relationship and go on with your life.

Answer 4

Your boyfriend has issues. I would never dream about discussing my family's finacial infomration it really is nobodys business! The measure of sucess can be more than money. You should be proud of your father and never have to feel that someone else is competting with him. I would tell your boyfriend that it really doesn't matter he is not dating your dad hes dating you!!

Answer 5

Tell him all this competition is boring and ask him to talk about something else. He needs to know he is pushing you away with that kind of talk and that nothing good will come of it. Then when your done telling him that ask him why he has such a need to compare your fathers.

Answer 6

he's stuck on your father's position and you're stuck on the fact that his father had to struggle to get where he is, and make up for his losses quickly.

if your boyfriend is jealous, has low-self esteem and all he can do is try to compare your fathers, it's not going to get better.

i'm sure that this isn't your boyfriend's only needy, immature trait....

why do you bother if it's so annoying? I wouldn't.

Answer 7

Sounds like his dad raised him to be a materialistic jerk. While your dad raised you to be humble. I think both of you need to find one of your own kind. Good luck.

Answer 8

tell him 2 stop or leave him

Answer 9

Just say to yourself "who cares" both families are well off and no one is struggling...who care...

Answer 10

tell him to stop what he's doing or leave him