I am 22 and I just had my baby 3 months ago. Her dad is not in the picture and hasnt been since i was 5 months pregnant. Recently I have starting see this guy, who is 20. It has been about a month and things are going great. He already told me that he loves me and he loves my daughter. He is great in some aspects and immature in others. My question is do u think he really loves me or is he just using me? I know this is a stupid question but I dont know what to do. I dont know if I should keep seeing him. My daughter is still to young to remember him when she gets older but what do you think...keep seein him or let him go.
Heres the kicker~We are both in the military &he tells me last night he wouldnt mind being married to me~what the he(( does that mean? I dont think he really loves me yet, I mean it has only been a month but i dont know how men really think.
2007-08-03 03:33:31 · 5 answers · asked by AMP2084 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi.
while it's flattering for a guy to ask you to marry him at any time, this guy seems needy... most immature adults tend to be needy!
in any case, i could be wrong...
in my world, and after 50 years of life, i've discovered through experience that we really don't "know" someone very well until we've spent quite a lot of time with them -- for a period of about 16 months or more... i've found that some people tend to put on a good "act" and their true colors start to come out in about a year or less, and then their habits and quirks become more noticeable, as well.
there is no reason you have to tell this guy you love him, if you do not feel "love" for him yet... if he is pressuring you, that is another sign of neediness.
if you are uncomfortable about him wanting to push things so fast, let him know that while you think he's a great person, you want to take some time to get to know each other. after all, hon, your "focus" really needs to be on your child, and she needs to be your priority now.
you have had a lot of adjustments to make, also. your child's father is out of the picture, so you have had to adjust to that loss.. and now you've become a mother and have a lot of adjustment to having your daughter around -- she requires a lot of care and attention. plus, your body is readjusting post-pregnancy, and hormones can do a number on us!
now this man walks into the picture, and seems to be moving way too fast (not that it's bad to have a guy in your life).
i think that my best advice is to take time to get to know this man... step back and take a look at him and in time you will know if you two have similar life goals and plans, if you have enough in common and if you can tolerate whatever quirks or bad habits which comes with the entire package.
these things take time.. and it seems you need time to adjust to other life changes, as well as his presence in your life right now.
i wish you all the best! take good care of YOU and that precious daughter! hugs
2007-08-03 03:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible but not realistic that he could be in love with you after only 1 month.
As far as using you, I would say that the beginning of any relationship is more a time of figuring each other out than any type of using.
What you should do is decide how you feel about him and also figure out what you are looking for.
The wouldn't mind being married to you comment could be his way of testing the waters to see where you are emotionally in the relationship. Or maybe an attempt to let you know he thinks you are someone he can see himself with for the rest of his life.
2007-08-03 10:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a daughter to think about so you need to tread carefully.
20 year old guys are usually a bit more immature than girls.
1 month is not long enough to get to know each other and definately not time enough to know if you want to spend the rest of your lives together.
Most of all - it is not time enough for him to know if he wants to raise a baby. A child is a lot of responsibility. Seeing her now and then is not the same as every day ....
My advice is to date... see how things go and get to know each other a lot better.
Get on birth control if you are not already. (I don't mean that in a mean way - I would tell my own daughter the same thing)
2007-08-03 10:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by Collette L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the details you gave, it sounds like he really likes you.
2007-08-03 10:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by Alli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take things slowly....don't rush anything...be patient and things will fall into place....
2007-08-03 10:38:48 · answer #5 · answered by chaminda l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋