Our wedding is going to be 08-08-08. I am sending out Save The Date postcards now, and invitations a few months before the wedding. Is it rude to list our gift registry on the postcards? I know you generally list in in the invitation... but I am a person who likes to plan WAY ahead, so I would be happy if someone let me know sooner so I could keep an eye out for sales and such. Is this bad etiquitte?
2007-08-03 03:20:52 · 19 answers · asked by marcyp06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I feel like an ***, but i'm 19 and have never done this before, ya know?
I dont think we are going to have a wedding shower...
I didnt realize you could have wedding websites, that is great! I am going to do that!
2007-08-03 04:23:29 · update #1
I have had a lot of people happy that we set the date so early because they can ask for it off of work. I also had a bridal consultant tell me that it was going to be a VERY popular day for weddings and to "claim the day" early with friends and family...
Like I mentioned, I dont think that we are going to be having a wedding shower. Our parents arent even involved in the wedding, and we are paying for everything ourselves...
2007-08-03 04:26:13 · update #2
I would not put the registry on the save the date. Even if you don't think you'll have a shower and your parents aren't helping, you should not put registry information on STD's or invites.
What you could do is put a URL down to your wedding web page, and on there you could list the registry/ies. http://www.theknot.com also a great organizer site
As for the timing, I think sending out STD cards now is a perfect idea. That way those out of the area or a little hard up for cash could work on saving up for the big day
2007-08-03 03:53:19 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would not list your gift registry on your Save the Date. You're insinuating to your guests that you expect a gift and this is where you would like them to go to get it. It's too pushy, too soon. I've worked with a lot of brides who will put their wedding website address on the Save the Date so their guests can see all the details, such as hotel prices and locations, location of ceremony and reception, etc. You could list your registry on that website as well but don't do something special just to highlight your registry.
Edit: Yes, there are many sites that offer free wedding websites and are a lot of fun to create. I personally would recommend The Wedding Channel. It was free and very easy to maneuver through. If you're not going to have a shower, I would just have your family spread the word if anyone inquires about where you're registered. More than likely, you'll receive cash which is a great gift!
2007-08-03 03:25:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
Rowergirl and Lydia are correct.
Registry info should not be printed on Save the Dates or Invitations. This is poor etiquette. This is very rude (though common) and don't be surprised if you get no gift at all from people it you include this info on your invites.
The ONLY way it is OK to spread the word is to let your bridal party and mother (and you fiance's mother) know where you have registered and let them tell people when asked. Chances are most people will call you or one of them to ask where you are registered once they receive the invite. This way THEY are asking and you are not telling them where the must get your gift. By them initiating the conversation it makes it OK etiquette-wise to inform them, since they have now requested this information.
Info may also be posted on your wedding website, if done tactfully.
Good luck and best wishes.
PS: A year is a bit too early for save the dates. If it's a destination wedding this MIGHT be ok, but typically this is too early.
2007-08-03 03:42:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sending Save the Dates now is far too soon - those shouldn't really be sent out until 5 months before for out of town guests and 4 months for local guests.
The etiquette on registry information is tricky. Gifts in general are optional for guests. While some will bring money, regardless of your registry, there will be a few who want to know what you want. You should only tell your parents, your fiance's parents, and your bridal party where you are registered - that way they can field any questions from family and/or friends. You should never put any kind of registry information in your invitations or save the dates so your guests don't feel obligated.
2007-08-03 05:03:16 · answer #4 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are of course free to disregard most of the advice you have been given and slap the information on there anyway but really grab a book on wedding etiquette and it will cover most of the questions you have throughout your wedding planning process. Being socially polite and showing good manners can require doing some things that appear to be rather inconvenient at the time but more people will notice you doing something wrong than you would imagine and it will taint their opinion of you to some degree. Even when folks don't know why it's wrong they know something isn't right and attaching registry information to an invitation or save the date card is wrong. Sending out reminders of where you are registered with every bit of correspondence you send out would just make me think you were greedy.
2007-08-03 03:58:49 · answer #5 · answered by indydst8 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The registry information is only to go with bridal shower invites. Not the wedding invitation and definately not save the date cards. If I got a save the date card in the mail with registry info on it or with it, I would be supremely offended. It's like saying "Hey look were engaged! Now, send us presents!"
2007-08-03 03:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by tnk3181979 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Yep, it is. You should not include your wedding registry information on the Save the Dates or the wedding invitation. The only place it is appropriate to write it down is on your wedding website. Otherwise, you should spread your registry information by word of mouth through the family/wedding party grapevine. Printing it on your wedding invitations or Save the Dates is the equivalent of asking for gifts, which is always considered very rude.
2007-08-03 03:56:36 · answer #7 · answered by corinne1029 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
you dont list it on save the date cards...heck...you shouldnt even list it on the wedding invite. the only place its ok to put is on the shower invite. a save the date card is just to let people know when the wedding is going to be....you under no circumstances put where you are registered on that, especially if the wedding is over a year away. I dont even start shopping for the wedding until I have to. if you want people to even consider going to your wedding then I would not list it on the save the date because if I got something like that I would forget the date and forget you.
2007-08-03 04:14:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's way too early to send out the save the dates. I would wait until about 6 months before the wedding. This gives them plenty of time to make travel arrangements but it's not too far ahead that they forget about it.
I set up a wedding website at www.ewedding.com and included our website with the save the dates and our registries were posted on the website.
2007-08-03 03:35:37 · answer #9 · answered by PhantomRN 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Technically speaking, you really should not include your registry info on ANYTHING - save the dates, shower invites and especially the wedding invites. Here is Southern California, its widely viewed as tacky.
People find out very easily via word of mouth. I had 30 people at my shower and 200 people at my wedding - everyone found out where I was registered with no problems at all.
I liked The Knot very much - you can create your wedding website on there and they have budgeting tools, chat forums, etc.
2007-08-03 04:45:42 · answer #10 · answered by Mel 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋