I have never loved, and dont think I ever will.?

Question

I am 19 years old, I have never had sex, never been with a girlfriend, or never even felt attracted to a women. I am not gay either, I know thats probably what your asking yourself, but I am not gay. Its like physical attraction doesn't even exist for me. Everyone I look at just does nothing for me, and I know that is not normal for a guy. I used to have to go to a shrink when I was a child, for depression and schizoid personality disorder, my doctor told me it was all cleared up, but do you think it could have something to do with my lack of desire or emotions. I even wrote you a poem.
Things are harder
When we have to leave our beds.
Wouldn't life be easier
If we were all dead.
I have tried to commit suicide three times, each time my parents got to me before I actually did this, should I be hospitalized I really really really don't want to have to go back to a physch ward, because nothing happens and I always end up sleeping all the time, what is wrong with me, plz help I am afraid!

to aph k, I like to sleep yes; but not there; I guess I get so paranoid trying to sleep when there are mad doctors watching me. Its a little unnerving, thanks everyone for answering I just needed to tell someone.

Answer 1

Okay, take a deep breath... blow it out slowly... now pay attention. There are people who consider themselves asexual, not gay, not bi, just asexual. They have no desire to have sex, hold hands, or cuddle. I saw a special where these "asexual" people were married to other asexual people, and they were ok. Don't define yourself by the world's standards. If you feel like sex isn't for you, then it's not for you. Obviously you're not emotionless, or you wouldn't be here. You just don't use the same "outs" that other people do to get your emotions out i.e.-through a close relationship. You may try googling a website for asexuality (which is how most of these people found each other), and see if you find any answers and/or support there.

As far as the suicide attempts... I don't think you're trying to kill yourself because you don't have sex, I think there are deeper issues there that need to be looked at. I don't know what the answer would be for you with this, maybe you need to go back to a doctor to help you figure out if you have an imbalance you need help with. I wish you much luck on your journey to "find yourself", and hope that you find the answers you need. I'll keep you in my prayers. Good Luck!

Answer 2

I don't have any gf either but I do have the desire for girls, and do you know what that all sums up to? Misery, that's what.

There's nothing wrong if you do not feel any love for other girls. Maybe you're just mentally unprepared, maybe the feeling will someday come. But till then, don't kick yourself for not able to develope a feeling that has the potential of hurting us badly. Love is not something to be rush, there's no age limit.

Don't harm yourself. It's not a crime to have no emotions, there's no reason why you cannot live the way you are right now. You may not agree with me for now, but just hang in there, one day you'll eventually be content with yourself

19 is still a young age, i remember how my life was when I was 19, its so much different from what it is now. Many things in your life will change by the time you hit 22. You're not going to be this way for your entire life. So just hold on there, you'll eventually get out of this tough phase of your life.

Answer 3

yeah, you need to go back for help. you are really missing out on the point of life. you aren't interested in girls because you are too depressed to even have a relationship with anyone else. you don't even have a relationship with yourself. there is so much happiness to be had. yeah, things suck at times but it's all on how you look at it.


Once upon a time, there was a farmer in the central region of China. He didn't have a lot of money and, instead of a tractor, he used an old horse to plow his field.

One afternoon, while working in the field, the horse dropped dead. Everyone in the village said, "Oh, what a horrible thing to happen." The farmer said simply, "We'll see." He was so at peace and so calm, that everyone in the village got together and, admiring his attitude, gave him a new horse as a gift.

Everyone's reaction now was, "What a lucky man." And the farmer said, "We'll see."

A couple days later, the new horse jumped a fence and ran away. Everyone in the village shook their heads and said, "What a poor fellow!"

The farmer smiled and said, "We'll see."

Eventually, the horse found his way home, and everyone again said, "What a fortunate man."

The farmer said, "We'll see."

Later in the year, the farmer's young boy went out riding on the horse and fell and broke his leg. Everyone in the village said, "What a shame for the poor boy."

The farmer said, "We'll see."

Two days later, the army came into the village to draft new recruits. When they saw that the farmer's son had a broken leg, they decided not to recruit him.

Everyone said, "What a fortunate young man."

The farmer smiled again - and said "We'll see."

Moral of the story: There's no use in overreacting to the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. Many times what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. And when our hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts that we can learn valuable lessons from.

As Fra Giovanni once said, "Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or a duty, believe me... the gift is there and the wonder of an overshadowing presence."

- author unknown

Answer 4

Well, I'm not sure of what to say since you haven't really felt for any woman but I guess I'll say to just wait. The right person will come. Don't worry because even though it probably rare, a lot of people probably never had crushes until like 17 or something. Just smile to any woman that may seem interested in you and who knows? You might like her back. Just at least try to be more friendly or compassionate. Maybe then, you'll be able to break this barrier around you.

Answer 5

I don't know if you are crazy but you don't sound crazy. you sound really anxious, yes. what is wrong with you, i can't commend ; you'll have to talk to your therapist about your feelings. As for love, don't worry it will happen. I think that if you are so stressed, you should be putting more stress in your life worrying about love etc. Maybe yourself is blocking that part of you in order not to feel hurt. another weird question for me today.
I'm gonna be a little hard on you because your poem meant you didn't want to leave your bed and then you said that in the psych ward you end up sleeping all the time; so what's your trouble with being there? sounds like what you want to do.
I wouldn't be afraid in the hospital because ppl would take care of me; that's what hospitals are for. take care.

Answer 6

As far as the love thing, you have to be patient...didnt you ever hear that song you cant hurry love? Be patient and good things will happen for you :) You will find someone eventually but until then just imagnie what it will be like when you do find that person!

In the mean time...find someone to talk to or get some help, because you should be saying that things would be better if you were dead and such...and if you ahve tried to commit suicide or are thinking about doing it again please talk to someone soon...you have so much to live for and everything will be fine in the future...

Best of luck and I'll be praying for you

Answer 7

Most probably it became one sided and flopped. Being a gentleman, you followed all unwritten ethics in indulging in sexual activities and she on the other side expected it sooner. When it didnt come and you went pretending to be a nice gentleman, she would have thought otherwise!!You both did not read each other well!!! I understand the pain inside you and the frustration you have but think about it in a different angle than putting the whole blame on her!!!Dont worry, all lovers are not like you or her, you will soon find someone more understanding than her!!No fun in crying over spilt milk, stilll milk from other sources continue to be sweet only, try for it but understand and get understood each other next time!!! All the best!!

Answer 8

You need to tell your parents that you don't feel well anymore and they will help you. You sound depressed. I don't know if you've really got a schizoid personality disorder or a lack of emotion. Could be you feel TOO much, what you experience as too much to handle at once. But I don't know you. I do know you need to tell someone who can help you, okay. Promise that.

And for what it's worth...some people are asexual. They don't feel love "that way" for others. And it's okay. The ones who want to, though, can be helped to realize their wishes.

Answer 9

most likely, you feel alone and you build a world consisting of yourself only. maybe you should try to make new friends, play some sports..
and its not weird that you are not attracted to anyone, the right one just havnt come...

try to open up. think of happy stuff, and believe, no one else can make you happy except you let yourself be happy.. this theory apply to love i believe, if you cant love yourself how do you love and take care of someone else.

if love is what it takes
even if its meant a mistake
even love comes as a breeze
at least i know loved

cheer up!!

Answer 10

Ask yourself "Did god put me on this earth to commit suicide?" And if the answer "YES!" does not come to mind, you need to take the time to think about it and figure it out. You can wreck your life, but then God asks himself "If he wanted to die, why did I put him on earth?" You need to rethink this, i knw how you feel because I was that age and I just said you knw what, I am never gonna get loved by anyone. And I did. Everyone cares about you. If you were meant to commit suicide, God would not have put you on this earth