I am starting to realize this is a very unhealthy relationship for both of us. Sex consumes us when we are together. She is definetly a sex addict, that scares me. She wants sex 5 times a day, it interferes with plans and many activites.
I am beginning to realize her ex-husband was a sex addict too. She had sex with him 5 times a day she admits.
Although I have her tested for the full spectrum of STD's including HIV and she came up negative. With her sexual compulsivity she is bound to cheat and get infected with something, I do not want that risk!
She swears up and down that she is not cheating and she hasn't had any other men since her ex left her. I love her, but this relationship is just way too risky. If she isn't affected now with something it will hapen to her sometime down the road, I just know it.
She was abandoned as a kid and felt unloved and thats what causes her behavior I have fiqured out. She confuses sex with love. What should I do?
2007-08-03 02:21:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
You two really need to sit down and talk openly and honestly about this. Talk about how it makes you feel in every sense of the word and encourage her to do the same, but do that without sitting next to each other where you can touch each other and you may need to talk somewhere where you won't be tempted to touch each other. Communication is really a key ingredient in any relationship. If discussing it doesn't seem to help, then maybe you should trust your instincts with this. You obviously care for her very much and don't want to hurt her, so you need to learn to trust your instincts. I think they have so far, just from what you have told us. Going to a therapist or even a preacher may help and since you are involved with her, it would be a good idea to go together.
I do think you have preconditioned yourself sexually and emotionally in protecting yourself because of what you say in the next to the last paragraph when you say "If she isn't affected now with something it will hapen to her sometime down the road, I just know it." You have prepared yourself for the worst case scenario with that thought which will help you from getting hurt in any way.
Good luck and I hope you can decide on a way to deal with this issue.
L.E.R.
2007-08-03 02:40:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. You apparently have your feelings in line so talk to her about it. If you feel sex is taking over the relationship you have to discuss that with her. If things are going to work you have to be open and discuss these aspects in the relationship. Dont just wait for it to explode into a huge problem. If you really do believe that she wouldnt cheat then dont worry, if it bothers you talk about it. You never know it might fix anything that could be broken, or make you realize youre better with someone else. The key to any relationship is communication.
2007-08-03 02:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by adr3nalin3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was somewhat like her when me and my husband got married, I always wanted sex - he was "normal". When he refused, It made me mad and I felt rejected. Caused alot of problems. All my self-worth was wrapped up in sex. Once I had counseling and realized that there was more to me, I stopped wanted sex so much. But its a process. If you love her and want to be with her, try to get counseling together and seperately. This may have a major impact on how she feels about herself and sex in general. Also, by not having sex so much, you really get to know a person. If you spend all your time having sex you have very little chance to get to really know her - likes, dislike, what really makes her happy and vice versa.
2007-08-03 03:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her about confusing sex with love? That could help but if it doesn't then i'm sorry to say this but my mom was the same way apparently and she cheated on my dad for 25 years before he found out and she got infected with something...if you have children it could hurt them also i didn't find out untill i was 18 years old....but whatever you do good luck!
2007-08-03 02:26:55 · answer #4 · answered by brittanylee0487 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
but u av put that u both r so there int a problem surly,i understand the part about being abandoned ,i felt like that my mum was a manic depressIve i never felt loved ,and ive gone through same sort of thing but i don't think she will go off its you she wants to av sex with no1 Else,its you she needs love off no1 Else ,you both r very insecure people ,i am ,you both need to go and get some cancelling ,it will help gud luck sending love to u bothx
2007-08-03 05:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get her some toys .. a blow up male doll to use.. if she would be into that.. that way maybe she wont be tempted to stray.. you say both of you are sex addicts.. will you be straying as well.. do you see that in your self.. if not then maybe she wont eighter.. not all sex addicts stray.. especially if there needs are met at home.. at least that what i think..i know many people who are not sex addicts and they stray all the time
2007-08-03 08:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by vis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you two could just be nymphos, no real addiction but you just enjoy it alot. But yeah you need to make sure you talk to her about all this and not just assume you know whats going on. Jumping to conclusions will only make matters worse.
2007-08-03 02:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your on a crazy roller coaster ride with this girl. You're going to have to ask yourself if you want off the ride. Unless the two of you are willing to get counseling you should call it quits.
2007-08-03 02:29:34 · answer #8 · answered by seashell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loving too much sex is not healthy for anyone anymore. you both have to seek for the advise of a sex therapist
2007-08-03 02:34:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should start by talking to her and sharing your feelings with her. There is rehab for sex addicts, maybe she needs professional counseling.
2007-08-03 02:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by hopetohelpyou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋