at my work and I am very nervous as he is a very rude man. I never talk about how I feel and usually just do as I'm told. Today I've had enough of this. Can anyone please give me some advise as how to go about this. I don't want this ending up in a fight. Thanks.
2007-08-03 01:17:33 · 14 answers · asked by Pam 3 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Other - Careers & Employment
Thank you to everyone for your help. I talked to him and everything is sorted out now.
2007-08-03 02:14:27 · update #1
The best way is to find a job elsewhere. If this is no possible then confortation is inevitable.
You HAVE to confront him and this will very well end in a fight or your dismissal. If however he is a sensible person he will comply.
Believe me that is the best way. You are a professional not someones lackey. You do not have to put up with it.
2007-08-03 01:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by Kimon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it hard to beat the Mogwai Kings answer - fantastic!! But think you should just be open and honest and explain to him exactly how you feel. There are laws to protect people in the workplace from being dealt with in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable and you do not need to stand for it. Don't get irate though, just stay calm and focus on the issues you need to speak about, put it across that 'when you do/say this it makes me feel uncomfortable' and ask him to change how he deals with you. He sounds like a slimeball though, which I have had many dealings with at work and I know exactly how you're feeling. They think they can do/say what they want and that somehow we like it, but NO we don't. A boss of mine a few years ago was making advances towards me (even though married) and because I wasn't interested I got fired. Took the loser to a tribunal though and won - stand up for yourself now!!! (not that i think there's anything sexual involved with your situation but it just stinks and whoever your boss is they should deal with you with respect). Good luck, we're all behind you & remember there are plenty more jobs out there too
2007-08-03 01:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest two things.
One, read Gifts Differing http://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Differing-Understanding-Personality-Type/dp/089106074X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-2796464-4175146?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1186143873&sr=8-1
or Type Talk at Work
http://www.amazon.com/Type-Talk-Work-Revised-Personality/dp/0440509289/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-2796464-4175146?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1186143916&sr=1-1
The person may not really mean any thing bad by it.
The person could also be a mean and cruel person. If the later is the case then no talking will work, they might even try and get even.
Most rude people do not see themselves as rude, just busy and matter of fact. Also, rudeness is a cultural construction, what is rude in one society is expected in another. I remember a professor of mine who had returned from Germany. The very first words when he got off the plane and met the person picking him up were "Adding to the pork there aren't you." That is rude in America, but expected in Germany. He was getting fat and it was the duty of friends to point this out so that he could begin to lose weight. Imagine what the response would be in America if every time you gained a few pounds, instead of you fretting over it in a mirror, all your friends went out of their way to say you were getting fat. I suspect we would be a thinner culture.
Germans are, by the way, quite thin. My last time there I was the heaviest person around and I am not thought of as fat in America. Weight is called "the American disease," there.
If you do need to confront this person, try and find out their motivation, let them know how you feel, if they do not care how you feel that really doesn't matter. You may feel you need to be important to them, but that is your hangup. The other person may not feel a need to value any of his staff, and why should he? Most bosses do, but there is no requirement anywhere in humanity that you do.
This will be a fight if you feel that he must behave the way you like. That is sort of unreasonable really. It is as unreasonable as believing you can make your spouse change. In a sense, you have the same choice as in marriage, you can get divorced or remain together, but you will only get them to change if they believe they can change. He may not realize he is rude, or he may not care.
This is a fight if you make it one. You do not have to win this one, you can just walk away and find a new job.
2007-08-03 01:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by OPM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, go in calmly. Have a list of bullet-points, the main things you want to cover. Don't let it escalate into a shouting match. If he gets rude, stand up and say you want to resolve the issues but will do so when he's in a better mood. Then type a memo covering your points and give it to him. If you have a Human Resources Department, see that they get a copy.
2007-08-03 01:28:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lady G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is rude, write a letter to HR department, or the owner, or to his boss about the problem you have with him. Don't let this end with a fight, because you don;t have another job, Just don't let him be rude with you, write everything and read-ed to him, then turn this to a higher authority. Good Luck!
2007-08-03 01:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by reality 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have another job lined up before you lose this one by confronting a "rude man". If you are being sexually harrassed or ethnically discriminated against then go to his/her boss. If this is petty crap keep it to yourself until you do find another job.
2007-08-03 01:27:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I support you talking with your boss firstly. if he ignore what your opinions, you need to find a new job. The important is you should face the trouble you meet and try to solve them.and communing is very good way firstly.
2007-08-03 01:28:58 · answer #7 · answered by hanhan20021983 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'd be (and that i'm) dealt with like 24-karat gold. -i do no longer care if that's a baby, an adolescent, or an elderly individual, yet I constantly cope with everybody with appreciate and giving all of them my interest. I do cope with human beings like gold, i myself do.
2016-10-01 07:47:51 · answer #8 · answered by earles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be prepared as to what you are going to say. Think of your main points, along with examples.
If he refuses to see or refuses to change his ways, I suggest you start looking for a new job.
2007-08-03 01:27:09 · answer #9 · answered by dalia8808 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask questions like;
how can I improve my performance to gain your respect?
what skills would you like me to have, so that I do my job better for you.
Keep about pleasing him and you'd be surprised how your being professional will improve his treatment of you.
2007-08-03 01:29:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋