i love him with all my heart . i do. we've had a few bumps in the past. our relationship is on again off again sometimes and we've been together for 5 years. give or take a total of like 6 months when we took a break (they were little breaks throughout the 5 year peorid) anyway.....the problem is..he wants me to move in w/him and will not drop it. i told him i want to finish school (im an architect major and have 2 years left) and as soon as i do i will do it. but every day he asks me and im starting to feel horrible. he says he understands my decision and asks cause i need to think about it. how do i tell him that he's making me feel like **** cause i dont want to? we have NO money. we can't make it if we do. .. im a logical thinker! its not all about the money i know but we will have bills to take care of and not enough money. if we wait...with both incomes we will! ugh. i love him & want to marry him as soon as im done with school...SO WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?! HELP
2007-08-02 20:51:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i know it just sounds like ims cared about not having enough money but its not just that. when we took those little breaks...he always comes back begging but still!! i need stability! do u know what i mean? am i wrong? i do trust him. i do. but im old fashioned and i guess i want to be married or engaged when we move in...and i seriously want to finish school. he respects me going to school but i dont think he truely gets it cause he works full time at a not so good job. sooooo. i dont know. he needs to respect my decision right? or no?? i feel bad for hurting hime everytime i say no but....i guess im not ready. how do i tell him to quit it without making him think this relationship is going no where?
2007-08-02 20:54:50 · update #1
Don't rush moving in. Take your time, finish school. Your doing fine, and don't let him make you feel guilty.
Why is he in such a rush? What are his motives? Is he jealous, controlling, manipulative, lonely, hurting for money, bored, insecure? Does he have your best intentions right now or is he self-seeking?
If he really understood and respected your decision and you, he would stop harassing you about moving in and start being more supportive.
If it's meant to be, things will work out just as they should. Good luck.
2007-08-02 21:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by MONA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad about trying to better yourself. As a matter of fact, he would probably hold you down. He does not sound ambitious. That is not good for you, because your chosen career could take you anywhere. What will he do if he has to find a not so good job everywhere you go. He needs to be focusing on starting a real career where he could transfer with the company if need be.
All those breaks aren't a good sign either. You might want to reconsider whether this is the man for you. There are too many things that just might get in the way of a long term reltionship. I would hate to see you have children, the him be insecure becaue you make more money than he does, or something else. You could end up in divorce with poor children too suffer.
2007-08-02 21:01:56 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cohabitation may not be good for your relationship. It could only complicate things because you're entering into a relationship that not fully committal like marriage, but a phase where you both say, "let's see how this goes." It does a lot more harm than good. I believe you're at a point where you need to evaluate where the relationship is going. You should just get married.
2007-08-02 20:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by Andre 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well yeah this sure looks like a good sign.. i mean if you guys are comfortable with each other than yeah... go for it:)) but be careful because these days everyone thinks they have met their soulmate and they make the mistake of moving in together way too soon and they discover that they don't really like that person or their habits and they just ...break up. so yeah... moving in together is a good way to make the relationship stronger and it's a very good sign, but it's not for everyone good luck to you guys ;)
2016-05-17 05:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by darby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here's the thing you're not even living under the same roof and you guys have been fighting and having an off again and on again relationship. it all changes alot when u guys are living together. when you live together that's the time that you will really know the person's true personality and how he is in life and his surroundings. expect more fights to come and expect the worst. but you know i am no expert i am just basing my experience. there's always a learning process and stage to stage process. it's up to you how strong u guys can be.
2007-08-02 20:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by jozellec 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very level headed to me. Tell him relationships that start on rocky ground usually fail. Assure him you have thought it over and this is what works best for you both. You would start to resent him if he pushed you into something you're not ready for.
2007-08-02 21:07:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it!
I've lived with 2 girlfriends and both were a mistake. Finish your education and then think about what to do. Explain it to him calmly that you can't afford it and you have to finish school
2007-08-02 20:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋