Am I responsible for my mother's feelings?

Question

I told my mother that she was a bad mother, because she was. No wait!

I told her that I am not willing to sacrifice my adgenda to help her at the last minute. I told her that I wouldn't because she uses her time to hang out with bad people. Those same bad people are the individuals how tormentment and ridicule me for not dealing with them. They use verbal abuse and intimidations to contol. I just ignore her becuase I know she could not do nothing.... Anywho. I told my mother that I want to get myself "together" now so that I could be a good mother when I have children.

I want to be as honest as possible with her. I love her and want her to get the message, but she just doesn't seem to here unless I say something direct. In this direct ness I believe I hurt her feelings. I had a family member hurt my feelings, and it was my first time ever feeling any emotional pain. I cut this person off so f98king quick! I just hope that I haven't given the same pain to my mother.

Answer 1

If u love her then yeah u r responsible for her feelings. It is possible to say something in a constructive way that gets ur point across without hurting as much.

Answer 2

feels like your mom desires something to look after. by using fact you're all grown, and out of the abode (with any luck), she in all probability does not have every person else to look after. So get her a puppy. Like a small canine, or cat. something who desires her interest and could provide no longer something yet love back. by ability of ways, with reference to the splinter incident, if this handed off interior the 60's, that would desire to be basically earlier the equivalent Rights modification replaced into handed, so back then a good number of ladies human beings had to artwork. She in all probability wasn't getting employed everywhere, so once you pulled the splinter out she in all probability felt unneeded. that's why. good success.

Answer 3

What you are doing is "drawing the line in the sand" for what you will, and wont put up with, and thats GOOD. Manupulative people need you to carry out their ill will. Dont be a part of it, tell your mother that you are exercising the rights of your personal limits and boundaries, and you dont need to justify them to anybody, for any reason. Stay away from these people as much as you can. Dont get sucked into their scemes and the fact they are using you. I am in that same situation right now, and I am attempting to put my escape plan in to action when the time is right.

Answer 4

Often the truth hurts and it's those things that people need to hear the most. Your situation involving your mother is very hard because she is suppose to be a role model for you and someone to seek for answers this reverse of roles I am sure is hard enough for her to deal with. If she keeps on putting herself in these bad situations there is little to nothing you can do. She must see her negative actions for herself.

Answer 5

Sparkle you have me a little confused. Sounds a lot like you are reversing the roles of parent/child in this relationship. Like you are attempting to show tough love to your mother in order to have her alter her behaviour and/or friends. Nobody has the right to be verbally abusive to anyone else, so please do not use this method to try and get your mom to change her ways. In time hopefully all will come together and things may return to how they were meant to be. But in the meantime please continue to do things properly and continue to love your mom unconditionally, as she sounds like a very confused woman.

Answer 6

well, if you believe that was the only way she would hear you out then you shouldn't feel bad. but you and thats ok because she is your mother and you love her. just explain to her that you have tried helping he rto understand how you feel and she ignores you. Therefore, you had to take it to the next level where ahe would understand and feel what you felt.

Answer 7

sometimes a person needs a wake up call, and to do this you might have to hurt their feelings, no pain no gain, i think you want your mom to become a better person not just a better mom and sometimes the child has to become the adult and the parent acts like the child just let her know that you do love her and you want her to quit wasting her presious life and to become the person you know she can be.

Answer 8

Your mother is who she is. she knows her faults. I am sure you have none. You did not state your age. We all feel pain. some more than others. Do you live at home?

Answer 9

people are responsible for their own feelings...there is nothing wrong with establishing boundaries with family members.... as long as it isn't viscious or spiteful.....to tell someone that you are not willing to set your schedule based on their schedule is fine...

Answer 10

Of course you hurt her. But don't worry, your kids will say the same to you one day. They always do.