My husband and I have been married for over a year. We split up 2 months ago and agreed that we would keep quiet if either one of us had sex or was dating. But he told me he didn't want me sleeping with anyone while he was giving me money. Well, I did sleep with someone right before my husband and I started sleeping with eachother again. I thought my husband and I were just having sex with eachother for comfort. Well, my husbands friend found out who I had slept with and told my husband. He was very upset and said that he had planned on us getting back together. I denied that I slept with this guy and he kinda believes me. We are trying to work on our marriage but now I am pregnant and I think it's the other guys. I keep telling my husband it's his, but I'm worried that when I have the baby it won't look like him. Should I ride this out or confess and ruin my marriage. I'm hoping that that the baby is his or at least once I have the baby my husband will love it and not care whose it is
2007-08-02 17:13:42 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Please only serious answers. I know I made a mistake and I'm dealing with it now. I don't need anyone's hateful opinions. Thank You.
2007-08-02 17:14:55 · update #1
The other guy will not want anything to do with it if it's his and my Husband would definately not stay with me if he found out it's not his.
2007-08-02 17:41:11 · update #2
He did sleep with someone else to get back at me. It would be extremely hard for me to take care of this baby without him.
2007-08-02 17:43:15 · update #3
Ride it out. Don't be stupid again. No dating unless a divorce is finalized should be the rule not the exception.
If baby isn't his and he finds out (blood types don't match up), then deal with it at that time. At least had support (& insurance) during the term.
2007-08-02 17:21:09 · answer #1 · answered by Carole Q 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure the father is not your husband? The doc can tell you how may week old the baby is, count back if the baby could possibly be your husband. If the baby is not his, i think he has the right to know. It is hard to start a relationship on a lie, the guilt will always be there to dampen your happiness. It is also very possible that he will ask you once the baby is born or sometime in the future for a paternity test then it would be more hurtful to all of you. I hope that whatever you decide, everything will work out for you.
2007-08-02 17:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you keep lying and have the baby and DNA testing proves it is not his, he will never trust you again. If you both consented to outside dating while you were apart, there should be no problem. Or was he allowed to date while he kept you alone by giving you money? He planned on you getting back together, you say? Then he should not have agreed that you both could date. You must come clean now and tell him everything. It's only fair to give him all the information and so he can decide what to do once he has all the facts. On one hand, if he says he will raise the baby as his own no matter who the father is, I wouldn't worry about a DNA test. On the other hand, does the other man know you might be carrying his child? If so, he has the right to be part of this child's life, and only a DNA test will give the answer.
2007-08-02 17:23:45 · answer #3 · answered by Morra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is really no use worrying about it until the time comes. Then you owe it to the baby, your husband, and the baby's potential father to have a DNA test done. You can have it done without telling anyone. If the baby is your husband's, then show him and alleviate all his worries. If it is NOT, then you should def tell him and see how he wants to deal with it. The baby's father also has a right to know if that child is his flesh and blood. I know it's a hard decision and responsibility, but that is what happens when you take the chance of having sex with anyone.
I wish you, your family, and especially this new baby the best.
2007-08-02 17:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anna R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Got yourself in a right doozie hey.
If your husband got to sleep with other women when you separated then why couldn't you sleep with other men.
You need to tell him, if you don't and the baby is not his, and he finds out later, it will make things worse, not only for you and your husband but the child as well.
This is hard to answer, but from a males point of view, I would like to know. It would be worse finding out a child is not mine after it's born.
If you have split up before is it fair to say that you don't really love each other 100%? so if he left again, how would you feel?
I guess you need to think hard about what your heart says.
Maybe this other guy, if you like him, might want to be a father if it is his kid.
That would mean waiting until the child is born to have a peternity test.
What ever you choose, good luck, I can understand it's not easy for you.
2007-08-02 17:31:50 · answer #5 · answered by OzMick81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to come clean!! This isnt just about cheating anymore. This is very serious, you shouldnt play with someone like that. Step into his shoes wouldnt you want to know the truth about weather or not your a father. You have a better chance at saving your marriage by confessing now, then waiting years from now after building your life and family on a lie. Dont be selfish with this one, dont put that man through something like that let him know now. So he can decide on his own what to do.
Good luck
2007-08-02 17:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by Samantha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
time to start being honest. If you want the relationship with your husband to ever work you can not start building on this lie. This type lie will never go away you realize. What are you going to do....keep the identity of the father hidden for the whole life of the child? The longer you wait to get everything out in the open the harder it will be and the hurt feelings will be greater. remember you are a parent now...you need to live you life in a way you can be proud of and want to see your baby immitate (because they will)
2007-08-02 17:25:01 · answer #7 · answered by cneiding 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be honest? You don't want him to go through the entire pregnancy thinking it's his and it not be. That would hurt him more than telling him now. Did you have sex so close together between the 2 of them that you don't know for sure or id it so far apart, it's almost definately the other guys. Good Luck and I wish you the best.
2007-08-02 17:33:33 · answer #8 · answered by mommyto2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your doctor and see if it is safe to do a paternity test before the baby is born.your husband deserves to know the truth and so does the other possible father.he probably had sex with someone else too so this stupid agreement should never have happened for this very reason! being apart while married is not a reason to cheat people need to take their vows seriously.good luck.
2007-08-02 17:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy. How would you like someone to do that to you. It would be devestating. Admit you made a mistake, express and show how sorry you are. Let him know how much you want to work things out. In the end whatever is going to happen is meant to be. It may have taken longer but why prolong everyones pain and your worry.
2007-08-02 17:23:23 · answer #10 · answered by Krista 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋