now he is remarried he won't even talk to us and has never seen the babies. It really hurts how do i get past being done so wrong with out feelin like something is wrong with me?
2007-08-02 16:22:41 · 12 answers · asked by Tonya v 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Nothing is wrong with you.He's the loser and be happy he's out of you and your childrens lives.You all deserve better than him.
He will have a lot of regrets one day about his children but it will be his loss. You on the other hand,have two beautiful babies to love and cherish forever.Concentrate on them and yourself and making as good a life as you can for each other.You'll never regret it.Children are our greatest rewards.
Be strong for your children.They will love you unconditionally forever and never abandon you.
Ask God to help you get through each day and protect you and your babies.
God Bless and all the best to you and your children.
2007-08-02 16:38:27 · answer #1 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So much you didn't say so it's hard to know the answer. Anyway, noone really has answers of the heart but I will try to help. Your life is now moving fast forward with your twins, so the past isn't going to change what you need to do now which is focus on the needs of your children. Instead of beating yourself up like it's your fault, remember it took two to make those babies and your are still there with them while he skated out of his responsibilities. So pat yourself on the back, and be proud of yourself for sticking it out through this tough time. Now, if you are still unresolved about your feelings over the breakup a year from now, you might consider professional counseling. In the meantime, have you taken the steps to make him pay child support? It is your babies right to have it and you have to make him step up and take responsibility through the courts. Dead beat fathers may take years to track down but you are doing your children no favors to let him slide. Social services are available to help you with all your issues. You can check with your local library to get a list of supporting agencies that address all of your concerns. Good luck.
2007-08-02 17:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by Dianne m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the why is a very hard question to answer not knowing the man, all i can suggest is to love you babies, do the best you can for them. getting over your feeling is another matter it'll take awhile but eventually the hurt will fade. there is nothing wrong with you. If you haven't filed for child support then do so it'll help. i wish you the best of luck....enjoy the many things to come with YOUR babies....
One Last thing... ignore the ignorant people who don't understand any of what's going on and don't have all the information to make comments about you previous relationship
2007-08-02 18:20:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys are jerks. I know this because my father did the same thing to my mother and now i am 17 and he still has only seen me once in 6th grade because he wanted a DNA test to prove I was his and even after it said yes he still wasn't there. it's nothing you've done and there is no good answer as to why it happened no excuse is good enough to abandon your children. Just keep your head up and be the best mom you can for your kids, my mother did that for me and she is my best friend even now that I am 17.
2007-08-02 17:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, only he can answer that. Secondly, you need to not worry about why, you need to worry about keeping yourself healthy so that you can raise your babies.
If you don't have a good financial arrangement for your children, go back to court and get one. Don't be nice, its damn hard to afford multiples. You have no idea what is coming, and take it from someone who has, you need to make sure that he is holding up his end. Its not their fault he's a complete jackass.
You need to get as much rest as you can, you need to ask for help from family and friends. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't do any good with your babies.
Count this as a blessing, he is no husband, no father and no man. Move on.
2007-08-02 17:14:35 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your situation. You can't control what other people do or feel. You can only control what you do. Please know that being a single Mom is better than being in a relationship with no love. Good luck in finding the man of your dreams who will adopt your children.
2007-08-02 16:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by Maiden Fair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all YOU did nothing wrong; as women we always say what did we do wrong; it's them not us; men(boys) are the weaker sex; that is why GOD allowed us to have children; your ex is a very selfish and insecure person; you and the kids are better off without him; however you need to get child support(the state has free lawyers) and always allow your kids the oppurtunity to see their dad; do not push yourself on him; it must be his decision. i speak from experience; one day he will be sorry and he will then apoligize to all of you and hopefully soon will want to be apart of his childrens lives. don't make it about you and him; just let him know he is their father and he needs to take responsibility. God Bless you
2007-08-02 16:53:03 · answer #7 · answered by hollywood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it may be, try to forgive him for hurting you. Do this for yourself rather than for him. Whatever his reason for leaving, it's his reason. It had nothing to do with you or with the babies. It had to do with his inability to cope with the situation. You have a life to live and two children to raise. Raise them with love and teach them to love and respect themselves and others.
The first step in being able to do that is to forgive their father for not being there. If you continue to feel anger, resentment and hurt, you will pass that on to them and without realizing it you will teach them to be bitter and angry. By forgiving you will free yourself to feel peace and make more room in your heart for the good man who is out there waiting for you and your kids to show up.
2007-08-02 16:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your "Why?" is that he's an a*sshole. Is he paying you child support? If not, go after it!
Nothing is wrong with you at all, love. And when your children grow up, they will adore you. You have so much to celebrate with your twins, so enjoy them - you are blessed.
2007-08-02 16:35:01 · answer #9 · answered by Opal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HIS LOSS! Just take it one day at a time and enjoy those beautiful twin babies. I can't believe he'd miss out on something like that - he'll regret it soon enough.
2007-08-02 17:15:40 · answer #10 · answered by Pineapple Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋