I have been depressed for 20 years....real bad in last 5, I don't do doctors but I want some help?

Question

I medicate myself with alcohol to deal with life and people. I have extreme anxiety and social phobias. lately I've thought of dying again. I have no friends and have no interest in friends because I don't trust people anymore. I basically stay at home when not working...The last romanic relationship I had was over 4 years ago. I AM SICK OF FEELING THIS WAY but have no clue what to do. I went to shrink many years ago and all they want to do is fill me with drugs.....Tonight, someone asked why I don't have any fun in my life. I couldn't just tell them my mental state......so, what now?

I have a harley and every thing else I want (material wise) and it sits in my garage

Answer 1

Hey, at least you recognize that you're depressed and have been for very long. The question is why? Are there many factors? If it's chemical, you may have to accept that only a doctor can help. If it's emotional, you may have to start looking at your life and see what it is that you're dissatisfied with. I have dealt with depression off and on over the years but I have faith. The fact is that I have a very good life but sometimes I fail to recognize it. I believe my issues stem from growing up in a broken family. I was raised a Catholic and am happy with it but, even if I wasn't Catholic, I believe that I would follow Christianity. My God loves me and takes care of me. I know this even on my worse days, when everything seems hopeless. If you don't know Jesus, you should talk to him and get to know him. Many people will tell you that he's not real and you shouldn't waste your time. However, even if that were true, you wouldn't truly know until your days were done. I'm going to repeat what I've heard said many times. I'd rather live my days believing in Jesus and discover once I'm dead that he's not my savior than to live my life without him and discover upon death that there is. I figure it this way, if I'm wrong I don't lose anything. If I'm right, I gain eternity at his side. The belief brings me peace, love, and joy. Isn't that what you want?

Someone mentioned execise, this is very good because it gets you mind and body going. Once you've exercised some, get on your Harley! Enjoy your belongings. Life is really so short and there's so much to experience. God bless!

Answer 2

Whoa! Your'e not alone there! I spent over two decades self medicating myself with alcohol because of my depression/anxiety. Then, I went to self healing tapes, books, vitamins, herbs (like kava, St. John's Wort, etc.... Then after 7 years sober, went back to alcohol! When my "dark" days followed my anxious days, I just felt emotionally and physically "spent!!!". I thought of "croakin", "kicking the bucket", "offing myself", a dozen times a day! I'd always had it and it had only gotten worse, so I thought ,"I've had it!". But I do have a wonderful hubby , kids, grandkids, a home , a job.....SooooooI decided to "do" doctors. I went to a couple different docs, a few different antidepressents, but finally did it! I take Paxil because it works for me awesomely, I swear. I hated Prozac, but for some it's great. Don't you know that no shrink can make you "snap out of it?". You have a mood disorder , which is basically a chemical imbalance. Not enough seratonin goin' to the brain. It's the feel good stuff. It's no different than a diabetic taking meds for their condition. A pill a day and I'm okay!!! I think mine is hereditary, My mom won't take antidepressents, just downers like ativan, so she still feels crappy. My sister won't take meds, so she's an alcoholic. Please "do" a doctor, try it again. Be a human guinea pig if you have to , to feel good like you were meant to be! Ask for Lexipro or Paxil, if you haven't tried them. Be warned: the first couple weeks may leave you fatigued and nauseas, Bare with it, These side effects DO subside! I'm 48, and waited a very long time to be this content and happy. And now, it's time for YOU to start living!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I think it's ironic that you will drink alcohol, a depressant, while simultaneously stating your contempt for a shrink who wanted to "fill you" with drugs, some of which might actually impact your depression. You are you're own worst enemy at this point in your life.

If you've been depressed for 20 years, then you have learned what is called a "depressive lifestyle" which you described in your post (no friends due to distrust, no intimacy, suicidality, etc.). The solution to this problem is COGNITIVE THERAPY possibly combined with an SSRI.

I'll cut to the quick....as long as you're drinking, you're going to be depressed and miserable. "Life and people" are not THAT difficult to deal with.

Good luck. There's been some good advice in the answers, but dude, you are your own worst enemy at this point in your life and only you can wave the magic wand that will make you better.

Know what? AA meetings might be a good way to start chipping away at the negative and depressive behaviors you've learned and reinforced in the last 20 years. You'll meet new people, you'll be out doing things, and you'll see that there are people in this world who would be thrilled to have your problems, as theirs are so much worse.

Get goin', we're here today and gone tomorrow, you know!

Answer 4

Do doctors. The drugs are better now. Lots of refinement in the area of reducing side effects.

See a therapist too. You may have to try a few to find one you can build a rapport with. Just like with everyone else you meet. Once you find the right one and really get into it they can help you find ways to be happier.

I can tell you one supplemental technique that's supposed to work well for increasing happiness. Before you go to sleep each night, try to think of three good things that happened to you that day, big or small, great or merely pleasant, and think about how or why they happened. That will help you view each day in a more positive light, and over time can sensitize you to opportunities to precipitate little doses of happiness that add up.

Answer 5

Hey

I understand how you feel. I was in rut too, and felt the same way you did a while ago. My whole life, no matter how good you do, all people remeber is the mistakes you have made. However we are only human. Friends, i thought were friends weren't really friends, so if you find a true friends hold on to him/her. I only have two freinds, that i will trust with my life. What worked for me though, to feel better, before i met these two friends, were reading Dune, by frank herbert, his world has changed the way i thinkabout life. His whole series. Every man, woman, a child here in life make a difference, no matter who you are, so no one can make you feel worthless. We are but small people, each making a huge change in this world. PLus the Dalia Lama, Buddishms has changed my life too. Seriously, just buyone of his books, read, it and e-mail me. His teachings are so simple, and every book seems to be talking to you. I find his phioloshy so enlightening. I hope this helps, cause this has helped me too. P.S. I hate doctors too, and people who think medication is always the answer. Sometimes it is and doctors can sometimes help, but somtimes it is us inside who have to change realize what is best for us and change and find happiness. .

Answer 6

I truly do feel for you! BUT, you sound like you are crying out for help- okay, you went to a shrink a couple of years ago..and nothing has changed, right? I would HIGHLY suggest you go to a Dr. and TRY a medication. SEVERE DEPRESSION is such a feeling of hopelessness. PLEASE GET SOME INTERVENTION OF SOME TYPE. You do realize that alcohol is a depressant, I am sure. You sound intelligent - just full of no self-worth. PLEASE, try to find somebody in the Medical Field that will help you with this problem. It is sad that you feel this way... PLEASE, KNOW YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS....NOBODY IS WORTHLESS! Try to wipe the dust off urself & get back up on ur feet. Take back some POWER & CONTROL BACK INTO UR LIFE! Take care and good luck!

Answer 7

I'm sure you've heard it a hundred times or more, but try some exercise. Make it light exercise.... like just walking through your neighborhood. Why....???????
It will get you out of the house , it will force you to focus on something else ( a butterfly, kids at play, traffic, a lady sunbathing...), it will keep you away from the highball glass, you don't have to talk to anyone, and in time you will have a better toned body.
Just take baby steps at first. At least, when you've had a perfectly horrible day, you can still say, " I did get out today for 30 minutes." Try it... it just might give you something to hold on to.

Answer 8

You are very depressed. You need to see a psychiatrist, even though you dont want to. They may put you on medication, and the medication will help. You dont want to go on this way..seek help! Go to an AA meeting for the alcohol addiction, or a treatment center. I completely understand how your feeling. I have been through depression and have suffered with social phobia for years. Feel free to email me.

Answer 9

Oldschool is right. You say you hate drugs, yet you are using them to self-medicate everyday. And using the worst one you can - alcohol. All this is doing is keeping you depressed. The fact that you are sick of feeling this way may help to motivate you to do something different - a first step in getting out of the rut that you have put yourself in. Understand that it isn't the doctors who will put you right, but you yourself. Your recovery will come from within when you are ready. I wish you well.

Answer 10

I would have to agree. There are two ways this can go. Be miserable or suck it up,and go get help. If this has been going on for that long it is a chemical imbalance and that's not your fault. However when you stop living and try and drink your problems away,that is destructive.Not to mention alcohol is a depressant and makes those feelings worse.
I really hope you go get help so you can be happy once again