How do you get parents to stop comparing me to my brother. Honestly, I think that I'm just some big disappointment to them. I always am compared to my brother when he does something and I should do the same. Well news flash, I'M NOT MY FRIKKIN BROTHER AND I NEVER WILL BE. I just can't understand my parents, it's life my life was paved already by my brother. No matter what I do, I can never be as good as my brother. It makes me mad and sad that I just can't live my life the way I want to, I have grown apart from my parents as I can't relate to them, especially my mom. They always condescend me and always nag and yell at me. Whenever I do something, they say I'm doing it wrong. THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO DO SOMETHING! I can't even remember a time my mom or dad said they love me, it's been that long. Whenever I do something that gets me hurt, they don't even check to see if I'm alright, they just start yelling. Any advice for me?
2007-08-02 15:40:45 · 7 answers · asked by Tommy T 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't know how I can live with them. I am going to college in 3 years. I don't know how I can survive. My mom randomly gives me the silent treatment when I do something she disapproves of like when I went on vacation with my uncle or when I got a job...Isn't it like a mother's dream for her child to get a job and learn the value of the dollar?!?!?!?!?!
2007-08-02 15:52:02 · update #1
You're going to have to grow some thick skin and learn to ignore their crap. They're going to keep saying what they want no matter what you do. I'm sure it hurts, especially since parents are the ones who are supposed to support and encourage us and be our champions, but some cultures don't foster that kind of parent/child relationship. I didn't have that growing up as a Chinese American. And my mom didn't tell us "I love you" either (not until I was in college). I'm 31 now, and she has really lightened up and is more loving. I think in her case, she was trying to push us toward (sometimes unrealistic) excellence when we were kids, b/c there's pressure in her culture to raise top-notch children. Now that we're adults (and that we're not drug dealers!), I think she's happy and proud of us, even though we didn't meet ALL her expectations (i.e. becoming doctors and lawyers).
So keep reminding yourself that being who you are is great and that you're not substandard. Whatever they say is a reflection of their own misconceptions, and that doesn't have to be your problem (it isn't). Be you and pursue what makes you happy even if they b*itch. Otherwise you'll have regrets. Your folks will eventually come around.
2007-08-02 16:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by Opal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from your avatar, I guess you are Asian. I went through the same thing when I was younger. I learned to ignored them for most of the time( not in the rude way, they are my parents) and slowly built my own identity and became the me now that they accept. you have to know that they want what's best for you and have your best interest at heart, even though they go about it wrong. don't go against them or rebel because you hate the way they "treat" you now, communication is the key here. tell they that you are you and not your brother and become someone that they can be proud of. good luck.
2007-08-02 15:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by myohmymyohmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask your parents, very politely, that you would like them to stop comparing you to your brother..
.You are two different persons altogether..
He has his ways of doing things and so do you... You probably are different like day & night, so try to tell them that..
I just can`t imagine being compared to my sisters,
We are three of us, and not one of us is the same...
We are completely different.....
.Very different..........
One thing though, We do get along together very well.........
It could be because we were never compared with each other
Who knows...........
2007-08-02 15:54:21 · answer #3 · answered by Ro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you dont walk in your brothers foot steps and that you have your own life and to please stop comparing you to your brother. You dont deserve to be treated like that.No wonder you feel so distant from them.jJust have them sit and have a heart to heart conversation with them about the way they treat you.Hope things work out for you.
2007-08-02 16:03:20 · answer #4 · answered by flavagirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had the same experience. but you've got to do two things.
condsider that you should be happy because at least its your family who you are being compared and no strangers included
and... you've got to talk to them about what you feel.
2007-08-02 15:44:19 · answer #5 · answered by Pringles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a scapegoat. Stand up for yourself or you will always be the family scapegoat. Every family has one.
2007-08-02 15:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by Max 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them and tell them how you feel... let them know you feel distant because of this and you dont want that...
2007-08-02 15:43:54 · answer #7 · answered by melya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋