I lost my virginity... HELP ME??

Question

Iv known this guy for about 2 years.
Last night i was at his house, i had been drinking quite abit. And things got out of hand. One thing led to another... and i lost it to him.

At the time it felt good.
Now, I feel disgusted and gross.

I woke up this morning and i cant believe i did it.
I wasnt in love with him.

Im christian and i did belive in no sex before marrage. I hate myself for this. I cant even look at myself in the mirrior. I feel so depressed.


Have i ruiened my life?
im questioning everything now.
Is havin sex so sacred?
Does losing my virgity to someone i dont love make me have no self respect?

All i know if it wasnt for Lust, i wouldnt have done it.

The question im asking is.
Is it fair to say that Lust took over my body last night.
I dont want to blame this on myself.

I think iv ruined myself mentaly.
I cant stop crying.
I feel stupid writing this.
I feel so weak.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry this happened to you.
As a Christian, you are aware that we are all sinners from birth. Ask God's forgiveness and try forgiving yourself as well. I think it is fair to say that you should avoid drunkeness (a sin) and that should pretty well help you think more clearly in the future. You are human and we all make mistakes. I hope you used contraception and practiced safe sex. Pray and forgive yourself. Accept that you cannot go back, so try to keep from repeating the same mistake.

Answer 2

I don't know about Lust taking over your body but it certainly sounds like substances did. But you cannot blame this on the booze as it was a life choice and one that you will have to live with. I do hope that your little male friend was wise and used some type of protection or that will just be one more thing for you to have to worry about, either being pregnant or contacting an STI. Whatever, you are not alone and there have been many many girls that have done exactly the same thing and do regret it the next day. But to claim that you have such high Christian ethics I am having a problem with or you would have not allowed yourself to get so out of control. Sad fact of life is that you are no longer a virgin and it is nobody's fault but your own so please learn to live with the consequences. And if you do decide to drink to access again then please try and keep your legs closed or before you know it you'll be getting yourself a reputation that I don't think you really want.

Answer 3

I am very sad to read your questions. I'll answer them one by one. You probably haven't ruined your life but you may always live with this regret. Having sex is such a big decision and you had a good goal waiting until marriage. I personally believe sex is special and I waited until marriage. You probably do have self respect despite losing your virginity to someone you don't love. You may need to think through your boundaries for future situations particularly when alcohol is involved. You were affected by lust and alcohol. You must take responsibility for drinking and being where and with whom you were. You will feel low and upset. Guilt and weakness are part of the human condition. Forgiveness and grace are part of God's plan. You can start afresh. Hang in there.

Answer 4

Well, you were drinking... Don't beat yourself up for it. I mean, it happened and you can't change that.
The worse thing you can do is dwell about this. What you need to do is concentrate on how you can help yourself to not feel like crap.
These days, all kids are having sex before marriage. It's called "hooking up."
I mean, look, this happened, what can you do? You were drinking and things got out of hand. Don't kill yourself or feel depressed. **** happens. You'll be okay. Did you use protection at least? If not, you need to get a test from the store. Is he clean? Also, I'm surprised that it felt good since you lost your virginity. I would think it was a little painful.
Either way, you'll be okay. It was a mistake.

Answer 5

Lust didn't take over your body, but it sounds to me like alcohol did! This is going to sound harsh, but there is nothing you can do to change things now, there's no going back to being a virgin! You need to reflect on this though, and make sure the next time you do the nasty with someone that u r ready. Oh, and I hope you used protection, because you could get std's or pregnant. I know this is not an easy situation, but hopefully you can learn from it so that you don't make the same mistake down the road.

Answer 6

Losing your virginity is line you could never cross back over. I've lost my virginity when I was 18 years old to a guy I knew since i was 14 years old. He was 2 years older than me. I thought I loved him.... hell what do you know about love when you're 18 years old? He was abusive and I felt really bad about it I didn't even enjoy the sex! But eventually I've learned to live with it.

My advice to you is, try not to beat yourself up over it so much. As a fellow Christian, pray to God to forgive you. Actually the fact that you feel guilty about it shows that you are repentant. Believe it or not God has already forgiven you, becuase he knows your heart. Ask him to help you through it. Then forgive yourself. God is a loving God. He will not "condemn you to hell" because you made a mistake

There is no perfect person living on earth. Learn from your mistake. Nothing in life is perfect. Remember, forgive yourself. Eventually God will give you someone who will respect you as a person, respect your feelings, have your back all the time, and make love to you in ways you could never have imagined.

Keep your head up!!!

Answer 7

you could say lust took over your body or alcohol took over your judgement, but if you really want to take responsibility for your actions, you just have to admit you made a mistake - and learn from it. you must realize the bigger mistake was in getting drunk. it causes people to do things they wouldn't do when sober and can cause some SERIOUS disasters. i don't mean to preach..i just hope you won't let yourself get drunk again & something even more hurtful happens.
if you're a Christian then you know that God still loves you and you're worthy of love and respect. i hope you will still believe that sex is sacred and beautiful.
in a way, guilt is a good thing. it shows you have a conscience. but don't let guilt overcome you! face yourself in the mirror, admit you effed up and thank God you're forgiven. let this experience make you stronger.

Answer 8

look, sweetie be happy that you lost your virginity in a way that won't have you scared to death of world and the men in it. i myself didn't lose my virginity on a very special nite like most girls nor did i lose it to drinking or lust. i was molested at 8, 9 and 14 years old by 3 different men. And now that im 25 and have a 2 year old daughter. i don't trust no man or woman around her, not even family. so thank The Lord Almighty that you didn't suffer a worser fate like me.

Answer 9

A similar thing happened to me. I was hanging out with this guy and he made me jealous with one of my friends and then I tried to make him jealous and when I was hanging out with his friend things got out of hand and I ended up doing everything with him besides sex (this includes oral sex) and I had never done it before and I was so proud of myself. I thought I was such a slut than I got drunk again and drank way too much and I was oh I'm such a slut and everyone heard me and I kept saying it over and over and everyone knows what happened. (these were the only two times I been drunk.)


You just need to forgive yourself and move on, its simple but not really that easy.

Answer 10

First you havent ruined your life- and you arent going to like go to hell for having sex...sometimes things do get out of hand and its up to you to take responsibility and admit you made a mistake- its also your responsibility to know that we are human and we make mistakes- know that it was a mistake and move on...sex is sorta a big deal but if you are really like that serious about your faith you could be like a "recycled" virgin and just not have sex anymore