Im trying to convince my husband to have another baby..any suggestions?

Question

My husband and I have been married going on 5 years now and we have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. We were set on only having one child for the longest time but now that she is getting older, I really want her to have a sibling. I think that this would be the perfect time because she is getting ready to go into school and my husband just got a raise! We aren't rolling in money but with him making more money we should be able to take care of another child. I have talked a lot to him about this but he still isn't really feeling it like I am. Any suggestions on what I can do to convince him??

My husband has said things to me recently like, "I have been trying to imagine having another child and I can't imagine sharing my love between our two kids" and "you really have me thinking a lot about having another kid and Im just scared."
I dont think I want to manipulate him into having another baby, just to try to see the benefits. I would never force him to have another baby, this is a HUGE step!

Answer 1

That's a hard situation. I know this may sound random but you should make the new baby seem unplanned! For example... if you two were to have a night of fun and you were to get pregnant, it wouldn't be like he'd force you to get an abortion or not have the baby!...

on the other hand... you should have a heart to heart conversation with him... for one think, I do have the thought of, how would I be able to share my love with another child after my first... to be honest, I think if would be nice for my daughter to have a playmate...

your husband should also consider this... if he wants his family name to continue, he deffinately should think about having a son! :) Obviously, once daddy's lil girl is gone and away, who will remember his name?

ALSO, doesn't your husband want to be able to go to sports games in the future and not just ballet recitals and piano lessons and taking the little one shopping and doing girly things?! I think if he had a son then he could be able to come back to his youthful years when his son gets into high school and what not...

There are lots of positive reasons why you should have a second child and you should convince him by using these positive reasons. I am the oldest of 5 kids... I LOVE having a big family... I cannot imaging how my life would be if I only had me, myself and I... I think it is harder for single children to get along with others too...

You have to consider your daughter right now... most only children I see are spoiled rotten and when it comes to other kids, they do not know quite how to react because they feel everything should be theres... also... for the very far future... I have learned that my best friends and true friends are my siblings... I have many friends but none as close as my brothers and sisters... When times get rough in the future, I know I will have friends who will be there for me... but at least I know that no matter what hardship I am going through I will always have a sibling who will be there for me! thats the best thing about having siblings!

Answer 2

He is probably just starting to feel a sense of financial relief now that he got this well deserved raise, and you want to have another baby-yikes! You say you have talked to him a lot, but are you, you know, nagging him about it? Forget about "convincing" him. Instead, try discussing it with him like an adult. Tell him it's something you really feel strongly about, and can't understand why he isn't there. There's nothing wrong with having an only child, but if it's possible, it would be so wonderful to give your child a sibling, and you're right, this IS the perfect age to do it. Ask him to really consider it, and think about it, before giving you an answer. You're partners in this relationship, and the best thing would be to both come to an agreement, or at least a compromise, like "If not now, when?" Good luck.

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Im trying to convince my husband to have another baby..any suggestions?
My husband and I have been married going on 5 years now and we have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. We were set on only having one child for the longest time but now that she is getting older, I really want her to have a sibling. I think that this would be the perfect time because she is getting...

Answer 4

You're asking him to change the understanding that you had when you got married. Suppose he asked you to become the full-time breadwinner, even though he'd agreed to do it while your daughter was little. Give the man a chance to come to this in his own time.

You must have been pregnant when you got married or conceived on your wedding night as it is. Trying to convince your spouse by seeking information from strangers or even friends and relatives seems like manipulation and there's no more important issue than this. Whatever happens to you, he'll be that child's father until he dies.

I was the one that wanted two and then three (but my husband was dying by then so no luck--long story). He might be think about what it will be like for your daughter when the two of you are gone. She'll have no one to remember her childhood or you two as parents, no one to share the care of elderly parents or dispute who was supposed to get what in the will.

Don't try the "accident" approach. My SIL did that (I suspect) and my BIL told the child often that he'd never wanted to be a father. He actually loves the kid, even if he is a half-a**d parent, but that was a mean thing to say. BTW, the parents have been divorced since the boy was 3. He's 19 now, dropped out of HS, had trouble with the law.

Answer 5

We have two kids (dd 5yrs ds 2.5yrs) and I have been trying unsuccesfully to convince dh to have a third. His main reason is financial; one income, would need new car and baby stuff, but it doesn't help when my biological clock is ticking madly!
I even told him just this morning, that he would be getting a lot more sex if we tried for another and that didn't even sway him!

When you come up with an answer, let me know as I am going through the same thing!
Don't just go and get pregnant though unless you can come up with a great excuse for falling pregnant. Its not worth losing your marriage over. That is why I am going to have to accept that 2 is it for me, my marriage is more important.

Answer 6

Well talk to him about it and try not to annoy him with it too much, but leave clues around the house(i.e.-baby magezens,bottles,and hints when your talking to him)without actually coming out and asking him. Maybe when your talking on the phone to a friend make sure he overhears you telling her how much it would mean to you if your husband wanted to have another baby with you.

But if it doesn't end up happening (which I'm sure it will!) atleast be thankful your not doing something he doesn't want to do because then the baby might not be getting full love and attention from its father too if he really doesn't want it.

Answer 7

I know where you're coming from but........
In my situation I assumed that my husband and I both wanted to have two children (when we married). After getting pregnant with #1, we discussed it and I discovered that he didn't really want to have any more children (he was very worried about even having one). He feels that if we only have one that we can provide her with more without dividing our love and resources (ie. money). We're still not sure about a #2 but it has gone in the discussions from never to not for quite a while (once he fell madly in love with our daughter).
My advice would not be to have an 'oops.' No one likes to be tricked (would you?). Perhaps you could have someone close to him (ie. a sister) talk to him about this. He may feel too pressured by you and emotional to have a rational discussion about how he really feels and what he really wants. Good luck!

Answer 8

We have one two year old and always said that we were done. But after seeing her with my friends children and how happy she was, we realized the importance of a sibling. They will always have eachother for the rest of their lives. And when you guys get old, she wont be alone to take care of you. Tell your husband that you are not doing this for you, but for your daughter and now IS the perfect time. I am sure that you werent even ready for the first one, cause I sure wasnt. But I know, that my daughter does need a sibling and we both love her that much to give her this huge gift of life.

Answer 9

I actually cried for each of my 3 and guilted him into it- this was a long time ago... over 30 years! I wouldn't recommend it- turned out he wasn't such a great dad and I essentially raised them on my own with him looking on. If you want your husband to be a good dad, he needs to want the baby as much as you do.

Answer 10

My second was a gift to the first when planned. It was a big part of our decision because we know we wont be with him forever. Besides convincing, try walking around naked. That's how I got my third.